A little over a week ago, Sarah and I took another step towards adulthood. No longer satiated by the typical grocery store, we signed up for memberships at Costco.

Yeah, we’re that awesome.

Our friends Jud and Biz introduced us to the awesomeness of Costco. They took us a few times to help us find our way around the place, so when Sarah and I joined it was like we met up with an old friend. We had the basic layout down, but there was so much more to experience.

Up and down each row, we gazed upon giant boxes of microwave popcorn and shampoo sold by the gallon. We greeted each turn with a sense of purpose, visually recording the locations of various goods we would be searching for on later trips. Sarah got lost in the produce area, while I drooled over the wide selection of meats and beer. If there is a better representation of our relationship out there, I would be completely surprised.

I think a lot of Costco’s appeal goes into how they treat their employees and their customers. Employees get health benefits and are paid much higher than their warehouse rival, Sam’s Club. Unions are allowed and Costco even contributes to their employees’ 401(k) plans. They guarantee that nothing is marked up more than 15%, which is always a bargain when compared to the typical 25% mark up you see in most grocery stores.

Plus, they give out awesome free samples.

I think Costco is going to be our regular hangout from now on. When we can’t decide on what to do on a Friday night, it’s going to be a little Costco browsing and a slice of pizza from their in-store restaurant. Who says romance is dead?

I’m even coming up with Costco scavenger hunts we can play with our friends (only those with memberships of course… we can’t just let anybody in). My current favorite is going to be called, “Name That Wound.” We’ll play it on Saturdays when the best free samples are being brought out. Basically, the goal is to be as aggressive as possible at each sample station. When we get back together as a group, we’ll compare battle wounds and try to guess the improvised weapon that was used and the free sample the person was going after (ie: “Wow – nice black eye… it looks perfectly round, so I’m going to guess a large can of peaches while going for the last pizza roll sample”).

Or, maybe we’ll just shop for basic essentials. Who knows?! The possibilities are endless!

Well, Super-Amazing-Fantastic-Tsunami-Fat-Duper-Tuesday is finally here. It’s such a weird feeling to know that at the end of the day, the race for party nominations will be a lot closer to a final decision. I don’t think it’s hard to guess which candidate earned my vote this morning. Much to my surprise, my polling location was a half of a block away and had no lines this morning as I was given a marker, a long sheet of paper, and instructions to basically play a matching game. I am officially a Chicago voter.

A cold and knee-deep snow gave me a reason to work from home on Friday and Monday, allowing me to take in all of the beauty that is the 24-hour news cycle. For the most part, I was treated to a loop of sound bites and in-depth analysis of what each candidate had for breakfast that morning. I’ve heard that the primary and general presidential election have become nothing more than a beauty or popularity contest, and if you pay attention to what these pundits have to say, you’re probably right. There’s no coverage of their actual positions or proposals, but instead we get to hear crap that doesn’t matter but somehow has been classified as news.

Somewhere in the garbage that’s fed to us, someone can actually dig a little and find real news and important coverage of the ideas and strategies that each candidate is talking about. The thing is, I am still waiting for a Hillary Clinton supporter to show any sign of understanding what her proposals are. I’m just left dumbfounded. I hear a lot of criticism thrown at Obama about how great his speeches are, but how little substance there is in the form of actual policy and proposals. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading his books and campaign literature and listening to his speeches for the past year, but I just don’t see how anyone that has invested time into researching the candidates could say that.

But maybe that’s the problem.

I have a lot of hope for today’s results. Across the country, my age demographic is finally starting to pay attention and follow through by heading to the polls. There is a deep desire to have a president that inspires and leads in a positive way for the greater good, not a shill of war-mongering corporations.

I feel like there’s something better that we should be striving for, and to me, there’s only one candidate that can lead us in that direction.

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Well folks, here it is. The introspective, reflective, cliché sap-fest of a list of lessons learned over the past year. It might be interesting to look at previous versions of this list to see if I’m still learning the same lessons over multiple years, but that would most likely be slightly depressing. That being said, I’ll pretend this is the first such list and deny any part in the creation of previous similar writings.

A serious relationship with a great girl who luckily doesn’t take me too seriously, my brother officially graduating from my alma mater, and a complete change in careers after almost two years at DePaul were probably the big three developments of 2007. While my brother’s graduation was expected, the other two were surprises to even me. Who knew a friendly dinner with a girl could turn into… well… something much bigger? I know she reads this blog and is going to tell me I’m a sappy nerd after reading this, but she’ll get over it. I’ve never been the quickest when it comes to reading signs of interest from the opposite sex, which I suppose could explain my struggles in sending appropriate signs as well. Sarah was no different. Our stories differ quite a bit, but suffice it to say, somewhere around early February I had a couple dates with the girl and realized she was interesting and laughed at my jokes. I was hooked.

Somewhere in the first half of 2007, I realized that my personal life wasn’t the only part of me that needed to stretch and grow. A conversation with the VP of my department at DePaul, where I was basically told the main reason I accepted the job and moved to Chicago was not really something he considered part of the long-term plan, had me casually glancing at the idealist.org job list. Before I knew it, I was wrapped up in an interview process and accepting an offer to head back into the non-profit world. The first few months had me questioning my decision to leave the friendly confines of a role I understood to find myself overwhelmed and underqualified. Somehow things have worked out and the moments of feeling overwhelmed come less frequently, but I can say that the move was a smart one. I do miss my admissions family and the always-entertaining conversations with high schoolers, but there’s a lot of growth and potential that are keeping me on track in my current role.

As for my brother, well, it’s pretty cool to watch a younger sibling walk across the same stage I did four years earlier. There were a few new faces, but it was great to catch up with faculty and staff and feel confident that my brother’s education was in good hands. I still didn’t know the words to the alma mater, but to see the whole day in a new light and spend it with my family was a welcome trip back to the Hill. Now in his first year of teaching, it’s going to be great watching him develop and adjust to adulthood.

Other lessons from 2007:

• If Jud tells me something is potent… say, his egg nog… I will listen to the guy and cap myself somewhere around the 2-3 cups range;
• Also – if Jud is bbqing, I’m there;
• One more about Jud – the guy is a safe bet when crazy things happen, like car windows falling into the door frame;
• Managing a rec league team takes up way too much time and causes a lot of stress;
• Adjusting plans to see Over the Rhine’s Christmas concert is always a good idea;
• Speaking of concerts – when your favorite band is doing a farewell tour, it’s OK to put out of a few extra bucks to see them from decent seats… even if they appear emotionally drained;
• One more about concerts – taking the chance that Ryan Adams is going to have a good show is worth it;
• Driving a couple of hours out of my way to play golf with my dad and brother is never a bad idea;
• Never turn down a free ticket to a baseball game;
• When a car starts making any noises that aren’t normal, get it looked at sooner rather than later;
• Always appreciate someone who buys Bell’s for you;
• Michigan has a few redeeming qualities;
• People come and go, so make sure to enjoy having them around while you can;
• Bickering and complaining doesn’t accomplish much;
• My church family is full of surprises and apparently knows how to put on a good potluck;
• Watching so many friends take on adulthood is… kind of cool… and makes me think I might have a shot… someday;
• <sap alert> Roadtrips are a lot cooler with a girl who falls asleep on your shoulder</sap alert>;
• If you have the chance to take a long weekend and get out of the city, do it;
• Leaving the city reminds you how much you miss stars;
• The American Girl store is a creepy, creepy place;
• When friends are in Chicago, make time for them;
• Always appreciate people who contribute greatly to your life and make sure they know it while you can;
• and… some people in Chicago take kickball way too seriously.

That’s it for 2007… I’m guessing 2008 will have some pretty great highlights. Here’s hoping I can remember some of these lessons over the next year.

For the past 3 months or so, I’ve been playing rec league 12″ slow pitch softball three days a week (weather permitting). Two weekday evening leagues and a Saturday morning league to be precise. Chicago rec league softball is an interesting phenomenon… enough so that I don’t think I could do it justice with a small blog post. I will, however, try to build a snapshot of the type of players I’ve come across during this time. In other words, I’m going to make a lame attempt at humor by exaggerating the faults and idiosyncrasies of others. Good times.

First off…

The Roid-Raging 120% 24/7 Guy

When it comes down to it, almost every team has one of these guys. Somehow he missed the memo that this is REC LEAGUE SOFTBALL. He plays with the intensity of a kamikaze pilot and usually has the skill of a 4th grade little leaguer. You wouldn’t know it by the way he throws his bat after a strike out or grunts as he stretches to make the catch at 1st base (they almost always play 1st base). Typical uniform includes multiple sweat bands, a brace somewhere due to a high school football (or marching band) injury, and a well-worn baseball hat. Batting gloves? Only the top of the line pair that could be found at Target. Softball bat? At least one with a sticker price over $100 that he uses regardless of how well he hits with it. I have yet to see a player like this on either of my weekday teams, which makes me worry that I may be the leading candidate.

The Loud Mouth

No, they’re probably not playing the game… and no, they have no real knowledge of effective strategies or rules in slow pitch softball. Yes, they do have a lung capacity and a voice that will be heard, regardless of relevancy to the game itself. Bang-bang play at 1st base? Oh you know you’ll hear this voice being supportive if the call goes their way (“GOOD HUSTLE! LOUD NOISES!!”), or worse yet, even louder if it favors the other team (“I WILL SLASH YOUR TIRES AND KICK YOUR FACE IN, BLUE!”). Most of their teammates will shake their heads, but suck it up and accept this player on their team. They still represent a share of the team fee and probably won’t demand a share of playing time. Usually they also bring the beer.

The Player So Good He Makes You Feel Like Less of a Man

This is the player you hope and pray is coming up to bat when a game is close and there are runners on base. You know they are good for a big hit 4 out of every 5 at-bats and will most likely catch other teammates on the base path. You can identify this person the 2nd time they are up to bat if the opposing team’s outfielders move backwards 25 feet and hope the ball doesn’t get hit in their direction. Every successful team needs one of these players, and championship teams usually have 2 or 3. There should probably be a cap on players like this, thereby giving equal access to all teams. You can sometimes pick up a player like this by trading 2 wheats, 2 woods, and 3 bricks (sorry, nerd reference).

I’ll try to think of more later… maybe I’ll take notes during fall softball.

So apparently there’s this amazing aquarium here in the city that draws visitors from across the world to our tiny little village. People brings packs of children in 4-seat strollers to marvel at huge tanks of fish and caged penguins, all while getting pillaged by a non-profit charging almost $30 to enter and another $2 for a bottle of water. The place is filled with about a billion gallons of water, and they charge $2 for room temperature tap water in a plastic bottle? Quirky, huh?

Anyway, the visit begins with a long line that heads into a giant inflatable Komodo Dragon that smells just like what you would imagine the inside of a Komodo Dragon would smell like. Purposeful move by Shedd to make it more realistic, or result of a thousand people inside a giant, rubber inflatable on a 95 degree day with 95% humidity?

The line is cramped and people are grumpy because they are in a line and the line happens to be underneath a giant, smelly Komodo Dragon, and pretty soon your start hearing exasperated sighs and entitled suburbanites complaining about how they shouldn’t have to stand in line. Kids are jumping on the inflatable underneath a sign that says, “Please Do Not Jump on the Dragon” and parents are too busy complaining about the heat to care that their kids might pop the thing, leading to mass hysteria and a couple hundred injuries. All the while, those 4-seat strollers and their contents are being pushed to a secret “stroller-only” entrance, making me wonder why anyone would ever come to the Shedd without a stroller.

Once you finally make it into the Shedd, an entire world of salt and fresh water creatures awaits you… right after you pass the aquarium store and popcorn stand. But, once you pass the overpriced vendors, you find hundreds of species of creatures from the deep. Sadly, no Sarcastic Fringehead to be found. I mean, what kind of aquarium exists that doesn’t have a Sarcastic Fringehead? They would probably bring one out if you paid them, like, $15 dollars.

Now, while this may seem like a negative review of one of Chicago’s most important landmarks, it should be noted that there are some bright spots. For instance, watching the young beluga pup Bella swim with her family was pretty cool and heartwarming. If there was ever a “Saved By the Bell” audience “awww” moment, that was it. The penguins exhibit, featuring a constant squeegee attendant, was fun to watch simply because penguins pooping is one of the funniest sights in nature. I mean, their projectile defecation was not only humorous, but awe-inspiring.

There was, of course, a dolphin show complete with back flips and the like. I haven’t looked at dolphins the same since The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. What if dolphins really are from another planet and plan on leaving before we all get blown up to make room for an inter-galactic expressway? Also, Sarah saw a dolphin’s penis in an exhibit about how the staff cares for the dolphins. Fun times were had by all.

• Time spent waiting for the dolphin show – 45 minutes.
• Dolphin show, complete with introduction from friendly staff member asking people to not sit on the stairs and to scoot closer – 20 minutes.
• Number of times the guy next to me scooted closer to me – an uncomfortable amount.

In the end, I did end up getting to spend time with my girlfriend and her mom. I also snacked on some Swedish Fish and somehow ended up with a bag of free Garrett’s Popcorn.

That’s what we in Chicago refer to as a “jackpot.”

After months of painstaking research, I have finally proven my hypothesis that the overwhelming majority of cyclists in Chicago are indeed smug, self-righteous, Lance Armstrong wannabes that give no heed to traffic laws. In fact, when approaching a four-way stop, this population, mostly made up of Old Town and Lincoln Park residents, believes that motorists should completely give way to their $8000 piece of aerodynamic metal designed for traveling through the Alps.

Now, this does fly in the face of my belief that most cyclists are good people who are looking for a cheap, healthy form of daily transportation, which I still hypothesize is the case outside of the Windy City. In fact, I happily endorse the two-wheeled-wonder and encourage all to regularly hop on their pedal-hog when possible. The problem comes when the type of rider most commonly found in northside neighborhoods of Chicago is added to the seemingly harmless bicycle. Like mixing ammonia and bleach, a toxic gas is created, suffocating and annoying any within earshot.

Diagram 1.1

While more research needs to be done on this ground-breaking development, I think the evidence is clear that entitled cyclists in Chicago should probably be tranquilized and shipped to Gary.

Work has been crazy busy the past couple of weeks, so blog posting has taken a back seat to data analyzing and conversations with big words. The level of organization speak here is mind boggling. It takes me a few seconds to break down a phrase or term, and by the time I mentally rejoin the conversation, I’m a little late. Thankfully there are slower days with somewhat mindless tasks that I can take care of while letting my brain recuperate and prepare for the next big project.

The brief hiatus of brain strain also allows my thoughts to wander. As such, here’s a quick snapshot into what’s bouncing around…

The Chicago Polish Consulate moved into my office building and now there are people with Polish accents everywhere. Sometimes they speak to me in Polish with a very confused and lost tone to their voice. I feel bad and point them toward the consulate office, but who knows what they’re really looking for? Maybe they just want to know where the bathroom is? Maybe I should learn Polish. I had a really good grilled Polish sausage the other day. It had spicy brown mustard on it. Spicy brown mustard is my second favorite mustard after Cleveland Stadium Mustard. I’m going to be in Cleveland in August for Rachel’s wedding! Sarah is coming with me too! I wonder if we should drive or fly. My Jeep has a lot of miles and eats a lot of gas and has no air conditioning. I need to get the AC fixed. I need money to do that.

My office hallway smells like fried chicken right now. My grandma used to make really good fried chicken. I miss my grandma. She turned 80 on June 4th. I wonder if I will make it to 80… probably not if I keep eating fried chicken.

Sarah is a great girl and I’m lucky she puts up with me. I know a lot of people named Sarah. I guess the odds were in my favor that one of them would work out. Sarah is one of the few products of that waste of space state up north that seems to be somewhat tolerable. Bell’s is another. The rest of the list could fit on a small post-it. Chicago’s beer distributing dictatorship no longer distributes Bell’s in Chicago so I have to depend on Sarah’s mom to bring me Bell’s when she visits. Sarah’s mom and dad are on the list.

I still really want a dog.

Honestly, how did it take a company this long to tap into this product name potential? It’s really good stuff, and this is from a guy that doesn’t really like tea that much.

There’s a huge crane on a job site near my office. I’m guessing it’s probably about 15 stories high. After seeing recent news stories about cranes collapsing and wrecking balls careening down city streets, I’m a bit nervous. I think it’s being used to build a parking ramp. A parking ramp, really? That would be boring. Probably not cheap, either. Jerks.

That’s about it right now. Stay tuned for more random, useless, lame excuses for blog posts.

I wish I could find the energy and time to write relevant and provocative essays, but instead I’m just going to blabber on a little about life. Yesterday, as I celebrated the beginning of my 26th trip around the sun, I learned quite a bit. Here’s a short list:

1. Grease catches fire. Cheap ground beef creates lots of grease. Therefore – grilling cheap ground beef can lead to large flames all over the grill and charred burgers with rare insides. This is not ideal.

2. Although .99 cents a pound for ground beef sounds like an awesome deal, suck it up and just pay the extra $2 a pound to prevent grease fires.

3. Bucket mixing is ok. Repeat it with me… bucket mixing is ok. Having friends from multiple circles is ok. In fact, I’d recommend it.

4. Enjoying a couple of beers on a warm June evening is great. Adding a glass of red wine right before bed sounds like a good idea. It’s not.

5. A girlfriend that, despite her love for the Pistons, creates my favorite cake with a Cavs theme is a great girlfriend, fo sho.

6. Thursday night softball this summer is going to be awesome. More bucket mixing, but I think the mixture is a good one.

7. When a ton of people descend on the house, there are always a few that end up cleaning the mess that is left – and somehow it looks better than it did before. I’m not sure how this happens, but I’m really not going to question it.

8. How do I always overestimate the amount of hot dogs people want? I have like 5 packages of hot dogs sitting in my fridge right now.

9. Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are amazing. I discovered this at Potbelly’s a while ago, but last night I had my first homemade version. Simply amazing.

10. I need a squirt bottle of some kind when I’m grilling. Jud is so smart.

11. Nobody really thinks I’m 26. I think the average guess people had for my age was 30. I’m not sure what to think about that.

12. I’m blessed more than I imagined with an amazing group of friends here in Chicago. Two years ago I knew 1 person, and now I have more than I can grill for.

…and thanks to Naomi for snapping some pics and uploading them already! Check them out here.
I think this one is my favorite -

My grandma likes to tell me that the reason I have such a big head is because I have so much going on up there. It’s true – I have a huge melon of a head. Fitted hats? A luxury I am left wanting. Graduation caps that say “One Size Fits All?” The phrase alone makes my brother and I laugh. You should see my college graduation pictures…

So there are a lot of things bouncing around the noggin. For instance, how are the Cavs going to step up to a more talented team in the Eastern Conference Finals? How am I going to deal with a girlfriend who misguidedly supports said more talented team? Would LeBron become my best friend and pay off my college loan debt instead of building a house with his own barber shop? Important questions, indeed.

I guess post-season professional basketball isn’t the only topic on my mind. Take for instance this new job that has lasted almost four weeks already. The fun “I don’t really know what I’m doing but everybody is really nice and understanding” stage will be ending soon (if it hasn’t already…), and I think everyone will start to expect results. But what results do they want? Will I single-handedly bring down the entire organization? Where will I go for lunch today? Why isn’t there a Chipotle within walking distance? This isn’t Soviet Russia, you know.

In reality, when I’ve started to slow down a little, I come to the realization that life really is beautiful all the time… even when Chipotle is a little bit out of reach. I spent two whole weekends with my family, celebrating my brother’s college graduation and my mom… being a mom? I guess that’s reason enough to celebrate, but I’m not sure I need a day to celebrate and honor my mom. Just like I don’t need a day to tell my sweetheart how I feel about her. One of the weekends I took Sarah with me and my family took a little too much liking to her, which is better than not liking her at all I guess. Then there’s the fact that I’m getting paid to contribute to a nationwide effort of aggressive idealism geared towards closing the achievement gap and providing quality education to all kids. So I got that going for me… which is nice.
Oh, and it’s summer in Chicago…

…movies in the park, softball, grilling out in the park, outside seating at restaurants, baseball games, late night trips to Margie’s and Tastee Freez, Nickel Creek at Ravinia on August 10th!, working a flexible schedule with Friday afternoons off, 4th of July in Nebraska, festivals… and lots of humidity…

Two years ago this July, I moved to Chicago with a job offer in a hand, a friend who talked her family into letting me leave my U-Haul trailer in their driveway, and another friend who let me crash at her apartment in Hyde Park.  I had served with AmeriCorps for two years, earning a living wage and doing intense work that was emotionally straining, but incredibly rewarding.  In Chicago, the opportunity to make about 3 times the amount I was making with AmeriCorps awaited me, as well as an entire city to explore and discover.  I’ve grown professionally and personally, making great friendships with co-workers and colleagues, and of course learning that just because there is more money in the check on Friday, things aren’t exactly easier to manage.

But here I am, two years later, thinking it is time to break from the path and start something new.  I’ll be staying in Chicago, but that is about the only constant in my life right now.  Alexis brought to my attention that she learned from Sex In The City that people are always looking for three things: a new apartment, a new job, and a new romantic interest, and never does a person find all three at once.  Apparently, I’m an anomaly (and of course, an inspiration).  Maybe I should be watching shows like Sex In The City so I can learn to avoid this trifecta of stress.

I am excited though – excited for the new challenge that awaits and the possibility of future cookouts in my backyard.  This whole having a girlfriend thing is going great, regardless of how long it took me to get around to it.  Now I just need some help moving… if you help move, you get invited to the huge April 20th shindig… and I’ll probably cover pizza and a round of drinks Saturday or Sunday night.  Let me know when I can expect to see you…