I’ve been playing rec league softball in the city for a while.  I’ve met amazing people throughout the spring, summer, and fall seasons over the past four years, including my wife.  I’ve played all over the north side of Chicago with great people from all kinds of backgrounds.  The leagues, though, are mostly white and mostly in ‘safer’ neighborhoods.  Our teams have been sponsored by bars (yes mom, bars… saloons… taverns) each season and again, the patronage at all of the bars could be described as mostly white.

This summer has been a bit different.  For the first time, the best option we could find was a league in my neighborhood – a neighborhood that has a decent mix of ethnicities and a rough reputation for violence.  There is some truth to the violent crime numbers in my neighborhood, for sure, but as with most things, perception is far from reality.  Overwhelmingly, violent crime in my neighborhood are gang v. gang.  If you aren’t looking for trouble, you probably won’t find it.  Regardless, the perception by most fellow Chicagoans that I know is that my neighborhood is violent (not counting my fellow northwest folks).

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a bit of trepidation heading into the season.  Most of my teammates are not from my neighborhood, and it felt as if I was opening up a piece of myself to them.  I can defend my neighborhood against the negative characterizations most of them know, but now I actually had to show them there was truth behind my words.  I started playing nightmare scenarios in my head – a teammate getting robbed, harassing onlookers, anything that would reinforce the stereotypes that my teammates may have.

Much to my relief, we were almost all the way through the season and it was going really well.  We won most of our games and, as far as I could tell, it felt just like any other league we’ve played.  From where we played we could see a basketball court with mostly young black men playing organized basketball, a mixed group of younger kids preparing for the upcoming football season, and lots of families of all ethnicities enjoying summer evenings in the park.  We’d get the occasional passerby to stop and watch us play, but I can guarantee our skill level was nowhere near the groups playing on the fields just north of us.  The teams playing just north of us were much more organized, much more competitive, and mostly Hispanic.  They were playing underhand 12″ inch softball just like us, but it was fastpitch, they had full uniforms, and were built like real athletes.  I mean these guys were really fun to watch, which was pretty obvious based on the number of people that turned out to watch their games.

Back on our field though, the crowd was usually non-existent.  Any cheering came from one of the two teams playing (or both).  The main exception came last Wednesday night – the final night of our league.  We had an early game that, if we won, would lead to a second game: the championship.  During our first game, a couple of Hispanic teenagers passing by decided to sit in the mostly-empty bleachers and watch for a while.  They instantly took to our team, cheering for our good plays and giving us nicknames of real ball players.  We had a good time joking around with them and ended up winning the first game pretty easily.

Now, to set the stage, I have to give a little background.  We were really excited to be in the championship game, but it did mean playing a team we had lost to twice in the regular season.  In a league with mostly fun, positive teams, we were going up against everything I hate about rec league softball.  They were ultra-competitive and loved to talk smack.  It was easy for them – they won every game by a large margin and I think they had fun trying to get a rise out of us.  They made the girls on their team tryout and were often drunk by the end of their games.  All in all, they were just not fun to play.

Fast forward to last Wednesday, the championship game, when we somehow score eight runs in our first at-bat.  Scoring eight runs in the game against this team would have been amazing, but just in the first inning – that was unbelievable.  I figured we’re going to head out on defense and give up just as many, if not more, but I was wrong.  After a few innings of play, we were dominating this undefeated team, and their frustration was building.  The kids I mentioned earlier were still yelling and cheering, and it was obvious this was getting under our opponents’ skin.

It started with friendly banter, but words and tempers escalated quickly between the two teenagers and the team we were somehow beating.  The straw came from their catcher – a woman behind the plate that no doubt had heard everything the two kids were saying.  She turned to one of the kids and basically said, “put on a shirt you fat wetback.”

A white woman with a Wicker Park bar sponsor had just called a Hispanic kid a wetback in Humboldt Park.  The teenager was livid (rightfully so).  He unleashed a barrage of insults on the player and didn’t let up.  Some were funny, but most continued to escalate the situation.  When the rest of their team found out about this, a few of the more vocal players decided to hurl back their own insults – mostly referring to the teenager’s chubby physique and, sadly, his ethnicity.  I think you have to know Humboldt Park and the history behind the somewhat forced westward migration of Hispanics in this city to understand the tension in the air.  A team of white softball players hurling racial insults against a Hispanic teenager in Humboldt Park.

The situation finally died down enough that we could get back to the game and try to ignore what happened, but it didn’t go away completely.  After several of us talked to the teenager, he agreed to brush it off and keep his cheering to more supportive tones, but I’m frustrated we had to do that in the first place.  Part of me wants to go back in time and completely stop the game – to go sit in the stands with the teenager and share in his righteous anger rather than ask him to brush it off.  I wonder how many times he has been told to brush off similar situations – to stay quiet when his gut reaction is to unleash his anger at the harsh words pointed in his direction in our ‘post-racial’ Chicago.

I wonder what happens to that righteous anger and frustration after it has been kept down time and time again.

It seems like most people have some type of yearly reflection around this time.  People start throwing out “best of” and “worst of” lists like their opinions should have some kind of authority.  Ignoring subjectivity completely, readers immediately react to these lists with enough vitriol to float a boat.  My solution?  Make lists that I can say that I am the authority.  So, here you go.

The Worst of 2008 for Me:
10. Getting my complete lack of drumming ability exposed by Rock Band 2.
9. The extended “sick, but not really really sick” battle I waged in November.  Two weeks of congestion and exhaustion was pretty much a big crapper.
8. The Great Comcast Battle of 2008
7. The extended “remodeling” of the Red Lion that kept it closed all of 2008.
6. My catalytic converter getting stolen off of my Jeep.  That really sucked and continues to keep the Jeep in Sucktown.
5. The seats when we took Sarah’s parents to see Jersey Boys.  A bad view, uncomfortable angle, and they ripped my pants.
4. The complete unraveling of the Cleveland Indians and Browns.  Both ended up being such letdowns after 2007.
3. The incredibly long and unrelenting winter of 2008.  I don’t think we saw anything over 30 degrees until May.
2. Getting a parking boot.  Stupid on many levels, but man, finding my Jeep with a giant yellow parking boot after work was just about the worst feeling ever.
1. Sarah taking a softball to the knee.  It made life challenging for a while and kept her on the bench for the rest of the year.  Oh, and the pressing fear that she wouldn’t be able to walk normally for the rest of her life.

Honorable mention: Owing taxes, the new Indiana Jones movie, and paying $10 for lunch way too often.

And now… the Best of 2008 for Me:
10. Sarah allowing me get away with growing a beard for the last several weeks of the year.  I’m guessing her acceptance will be endless.  If not, Sarah making me shave my beard will be on my 2009 “worst of” list.
9. The Great Nebraska Trip of 08.  This trip has redefined the awesomeness of summer.
8. The Dark Knight in IMAX.  Mind = blown.
7. Getting a Costco membership.  I know that sounds lame, but trust me, it is.  Even so, it has turned out to be pretty dang awesome.
6. Pastor Daniel’s “sex series” and forum.  It’s been quite a while since a pastor has spoken words that hit me the way his series did a couple months ago.
5. The Wii… and Rock Band 2… and WiiFit… and taking my dad down in Wii Bowling.
4. Getting engaged.  From the ring to talking to Sarah’s dad to postponed proposals to finally getting the word to come out of my mouth, this was probably the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done.
3. The Weber 22.5″ One-Touch Gold kettle grill that was provided by the guys from my “bachelor weekend.”  This may continue to be on my 2009 “best of” list.
2. Brewing my first batch of beer ever with Jud.  Hopefully it leads to continued brewing and eventually some stellar beer.
1. Well, it’s not that hard to guess what my number 1 might be.  Obviously, it was discovering there was a Sonic in Ohio just off of I-70 near Dayton.

Honorable mention: Discovering the tv show Mad Men, Iron Man or Wall-E, Microsoft replacing my Xbox 360 quickly and for free.

Ok, for real, there were two pretty monumental occurences that will make 2008 incredibly memorable.  Enough so that they deserve their own list.

So, here it is… the Greatest of the Great in 2008:
2. Hearing Wolf Blitzer say, “We are ready to declare that Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States” while standing in Grant Park with my wife and some good friends.

and finally…
1. A month before election day, standing in front of a gazeebo somewhere in Michigan and wearing a nice suit, a beautiful woman for some reason agreed to spend the rest of her life with me.  That was pretty swell.

So that’s it.  2008 reduced to a couple of lists.  Disagree with any of it and I will have my friend Corey poke you in the eye.  He’s ready to do it too.

Well folks, here it is. The introspective, reflective, cliché sap-fest of a list of lessons learned over the past year. It might be interesting to look at previous versions of this list to see if I’m still learning the same lessons over multiple years, but that would most likely be slightly depressing. That being said, I’ll pretend this is the first such list and deny any part in the creation of previous similar writings.

A serious relationship with a great girl who luckily doesn’t take me too seriously, my brother officially graduating from my alma mater, and a complete change in careers after almost two years at DePaul were probably the big three developments of 2007. While my brother’s graduation was expected, the other two were surprises to even me. Who knew a friendly dinner with a girl could turn into… well… something much bigger? I know she reads this blog and is going to tell me I’m a sappy nerd after reading this, but she’ll get over it. I’ve never been the quickest when it comes to reading signs of interest from the opposite sex, which I suppose could explain my struggles in sending appropriate signs as well. Sarah was no different. Our stories differ quite a bit, but suffice it to say, somewhere around early February I had a couple dates with the girl and realized she was interesting and laughed at my jokes. I was hooked.

Somewhere in the first half of 2007, I realized that my personal life wasn’t the only part of me that needed to stretch and grow. A conversation with the VP of my department at DePaul, where I was basically told the main reason I accepted the job and moved to Chicago was not really something he considered part of the long-term plan, had me casually glancing at the idealist.org job list. Before I knew it, I was wrapped up in an interview process and accepting an offer to head back into the non-profit world. The first few months had me questioning my decision to leave the friendly confines of a role I understood to find myself overwhelmed and underqualified. Somehow things have worked out and the moments of feeling overwhelmed come less frequently, but I can say that the move was a smart one. I do miss my admissions family and the always-entertaining conversations with high schoolers, but there’s a lot of growth and potential that are keeping me on track in my current role.

As for my brother, well, it’s pretty cool to watch a younger sibling walk across the same stage I did four years earlier. There were a few new faces, but it was great to catch up with faculty and staff and feel confident that my brother’s education was in good hands. I still didn’t know the words to the alma mater, but to see the whole day in a new light and spend it with my family was a welcome trip back to the Hill. Now in his first year of teaching, it’s going to be great watching him develop and adjust to adulthood.

Other lessons from 2007:

• If Jud tells me something is potent… say, his egg nog… I will listen to the guy and cap myself somewhere around the 2-3 cups range;
• Also – if Jud is bbqing, I’m there;
• One more about Jud – the guy is a safe bet when crazy things happen, like car windows falling into the door frame;
• Managing a rec league team takes up way too much time and causes a lot of stress;
• Adjusting plans to see Over the Rhine’s Christmas concert is always a good idea;
• Speaking of concerts – when your favorite band is doing a farewell tour, it’s OK to put out of a few extra bucks to see them from decent seats… even if they appear emotionally drained;
• One more about concerts – taking the chance that Ryan Adams is going to have a good show is worth it;
• Driving a couple of hours out of my way to play golf with my dad and brother is never a bad idea;
• Never turn down a free ticket to a baseball game;
• When a car starts making any noises that aren’t normal, get it looked at sooner rather than later;
• Always appreciate someone who buys Bell’s for you;
• Michigan has a few redeeming qualities;
• People come and go, so make sure to enjoy having them around while you can;
• Bickering and complaining doesn’t accomplish much;
• My church family is full of surprises and apparently knows how to put on a good potluck;
• Watching so many friends take on adulthood is… kind of cool… and makes me think I might have a shot… someday;
• <sap alert> Roadtrips are a lot cooler with a girl who falls asleep on your shoulder</sap alert>;
• If you have the chance to take a long weekend and get out of the city, do it;
• Leaving the city reminds you how much you miss stars;
• The American Girl store is a creepy, creepy place;
• When friends are in Chicago, make time for them;
• Always appreciate people who contribute greatly to your life and make sure they know it while you can;
• and… some people in Chicago take kickball way too seriously.

That’s it for 2007… I’m guessing 2008 will have some pretty great highlights. Here’s hoping I can remember some of these lessons over the next year.

Who knew being a rec league softball team captain would be so stressful? I didn’t. That’s why I agreed to be a rec league kickball team captain as well. Dumb move. I think once both teams are up and running, it will be a lot easier. Getting everything off the ground and figuring out money and sponsorship though? Not fun. Why the heck don’t people respond to e-mails? Is it really that hard? Are you so important that taking literally 15 seconds to reply to an e-mail will cause the time-space continuum to slow to a halt?

GAH!

I’m working from home today, which is turning into nothing more than handling freaking kickball stuff. Thanks for e-mailing me our schedule this morning, kickball league! Why couldn’t more teams sign up for Monday nights? It was all set and everything was good to go… I just keep telling myself to find a happy place… the Bell’s 8000 batch in my fridge is helping a lot.

So yeah, I’m working from home today. I end up doing that about once or twice a week. It’s nice because I get to relax, but definitely not productive enough to do every day. Plus, I don’t think I could stand daytime TV every day.

Have you tried watching the morning shows on the main networks? The Today Show is nothing more than crap, crap, and more crap. I can just see the production meeting before the show… Producer: “Ok folks, so we’re going to start off this morning with a 10 minute story about amazing new lipsticks that contain sunscreen, bug repellent, AND are environmentally friendly, then we’re going to transfer to a pan shot of crazy people from Idaho dressed up as potatoes in the crowd. Then a commercial break where, interestingly enough, we have commercials for the lipstick and Idaho potatoes. After the commercial break, we’ll spend 30 seconds breaking down the top 15 news stories of the day, followed by a cooking segment with the cast of A High School Musical 17. We’ll wrap it up with a model show of this season’s hottest jeans designed just for moms and Al Roker pretending to talk about the weather.”

Awesome.

Wow.  I sound bitter and angry.  Kanye’s new album is making my day better though.

For the past 3 months or so, I’ve been playing rec league 12″ slow pitch softball three days a week (weather permitting). Two weekday evening leagues and a Saturday morning league to be precise. Chicago rec league softball is an interesting phenomenon… enough so that I don’t think I could do it justice with a small blog post. I will, however, try to build a snapshot of the type of players I’ve come across during this time. In other words, I’m going to make a lame attempt at humor by exaggerating the faults and idiosyncrasies of others. Good times.

First off…

The Roid-Raging 120% 24/7 Guy

When it comes down to it, almost every team has one of these guys. Somehow he missed the memo that this is REC LEAGUE SOFTBALL. He plays with the intensity of a kamikaze pilot and usually has the skill of a 4th grade little leaguer. You wouldn’t know it by the way he throws his bat after a strike out or grunts as he stretches to make the catch at 1st base (they almost always play 1st base). Typical uniform includes multiple sweat bands, a brace somewhere due to a high school football (or marching band) injury, and a well-worn baseball hat. Batting gloves? Only the top of the line pair that could be found at Target. Softball bat? At least one with a sticker price over $100 that he uses regardless of how well he hits with it. I have yet to see a player like this on either of my weekday teams, which makes me worry that I may be the leading candidate.

The Loud Mouth

No, they’re probably not playing the game… and no, they have no real knowledge of effective strategies or rules in slow pitch softball. Yes, they do have a lung capacity and a voice that will be heard, regardless of relevancy to the game itself. Bang-bang play at 1st base? Oh you know you’ll hear this voice being supportive if the call goes their way (“GOOD HUSTLE! LOUD NOISES!!”), or worse yet, even louder if it favors the other team (“I WILL SLASH YOUR TIRES AND KICK YOUR FACE IN, BLUE!”). Most of their teammates will shake their heads, but suck it up and accept this player on their team. They still represent a share of the team fee and probably won’t demand a share of playing time. Usually they also bring the beer.

The Player So Good He Makes You Feel Like Less of a Man

This is the player you hope and pray is coming up to bat when a game is close and there are runners on base. You know they are good for a big hit 4 out of every 5 at-bats and will most likely catch other teammates on the base path. You can identify this person the 2nd time they are up to bat if the opposing team’s outfielders move backwards 25 feet and hope the ball doesn’t get hit in their direction. Every successful team needs one of these players, and championship teams usually have 2 or 3. There should probably be a cap on players like this, thereby giving equal access to all teams. You can sometimes pick up a player like this by trading 2 wheats, 2 woods, and 3 bricks (sorry, nerd reference).

I’ll try to think of more later… maybe I’ll take notes during fall softball.