I’m losing the battle of balance right now.  Work is completely overwhelming at times, which means the few moments I have in the evening are spent decompressing and reviewing the massive list of to-do’s before the wedding.  It’s not a good way to build up to a fun wedding day.

Holy crap… the wedding.  It’s like it somehow went undetected for the past few months only to decide that now is the moment to reappear and remind me that is it less than two weeks away.  There’s so much that has been accomplished (mostly by my wife-to-be and her mom), but the remaining list is frustrating.  I think we just need a solid 4 hour chunk of time to sit down and pick out gifts for our friends in the wedding and finalize the list of cheesy dance favorites for our DJ, but that is only a scratch on the surface.

Finding those four hours is quickly turning into a wild goose chase.  An elusive white whale comprised of ties that need to be picked out, seating charts that need to be assigned, and table centerpieces that have to be finished.  Oh, and tracking down a huge list of people that still haven’t submitted an RSVP either way.

…and I need to find a shiny new pair of black shoes… for my gigantic feet… that don’t require me to take out a loan.

Fun times, my friends.

But soon… soon, Sarah and I will be here:

(why is the “Business Time” song by Flight of the Conchords playing in my head…)

Getting out of the city for a long weekend is always a welcome treat, especially after the winter we just had. I don’t know if I can remember a winter that has lasted so long or has been so consistently cold and I’d prefer it if the city could make sure it doesn’t happen again. I figure I’m paying enough in taxes and parking tickets, the least the city could do is give me a few days above the 30 degree mark.

Anyway, it was pretty great spending the weekend with Sarah and some great friends in West Virginia. Watching my friend Corey get married was something I never expected in my lifetime, but leave it to him to defy my expectations. It was a great morning ceremony with a brunch reception, and honestly, does it get better than pancakes at a wedding reception?

I think not.

Coming back to the city was a dose of reality. The warm weather brought with it a wave of gun violence. Already this year too many Chicago Public School students have been gunned down - some targeted, some random. Growing up in southeast Ohio, gun violence is a rarity and when it does happen, the entire region is in shock. Here in Chicago, you quickly become desensitized to it until numbers start popping up in the paper like, “24 CPS students killed so far this year,” or, “36 shootings, 9 killed.” By then the weight of the situation is overwhelming.

The answer, I fear, is much more complicated than the gun legislation being called for by the mayor. The guns being used to commit these acts are not legal in Chicago, but regardless, the question needs to be asked - why are folks seeking these guns out to commit these acts? What is it the convinces kids in our schools that academic success is not a viable option?

Since joining the staff and collective effort of Teach For America, I’ve heard some very valid weaknesses of our two-year program that brings talented college graduates into our nation’s most under-resourced classrooms. I can understand the worry among traditional career teachers, but I have to ask - what else are they doing? Are they moving into a severely under-resourced district with a tradition of weak student test scores and applying for a job? If they are taking those steps, are they walking into their classrooms expecting their students to perform as high, if not higher, than their suburban counterparts?

That’s what our corps members are doing. They walk into classrooms full of students with low test scores with a sense of possibility and the energy needed to walk in step with their students. It’s what I see in my friends that teach here in the city, and principals and superintendents need to have the power to weed out the teachers that fall short.

Education is certainly not the only key to turning around this resurgence in violence, but it surely is a good start. We have to start fighting the overwhelming helplessness and cynicism that pollutes our conversations and efforts to turn the tide. Now if we could just find more leaders in our districts and schools that are willing to demand every decision be made with the best interest of students in mind… now that would be revolutionary.

Normally, this is the time I would be waxing poetic about the start of baseball season.  Trust me when I say my excitement has not diminished.  As any good Cleveland fan, my hopes are high that this is the year.  Unlike previous years, this year looks like it will be our best shot yet.  Many of the core players are back, and if Sabathia and Carmona can dominate from the mound, there is a good chance the Indians will be playing in October.

Unfortunately, we have a huge event for work in DC this weekend, so long passionate musings about baseball will have to wait.

Now, if we could just have some baseball weather, that would be awesome.

Well folks, here it is. The introspective, reflective, cliché sap-fest of a list of lessons learned over the past year. It might be interesting to look at previous versions of this list to see if I’m still learning the same lessons over multiple years, but that would most likely be slightly depressing. That being said, I’ll pretend this is the first such list and deny any part in the creation of previous similar writings.

A serious relationship with a great girl who luckily doesn’t take me too seriously, my brother officially graduating from my alma mater, and a complete change in careers after almost two years at DePaul were probably the big three developments of 2007. While my brother’s graduation was expected, the other two were surprises to even me. Who knew a friendly dinner with a girl could turn into… well… something much bigger? I know she reads this blog and is going to tell me I’m a sappy nerd after reading this, but she’ll get over it. I’ve never been the quickest when it comes to reading signs of interest from the opposite sex, which I suppose could explain my struggles in sending appropriate signs as well. Sarah was no different. Our stories differ quite a bit, but suffice it to say, somewhere around early February I had a couple dates with the girl and realized she was interesting and laughed at my jokes. I was hooked.

Somewhere in the first half of 2007, I realized that my personal life wasn’t the only part of me that needed to stretch and grow. A conversation with the VP of my department at DePaul, where I was basically told the main reason I accepted the job and moved to Chicago was not really something he considered part of the long-term plan, had me casually glancing at the idealist.org job list. Before I knew it, I was wrapped up in an interview process and accepting an offer to head back into the non-profit world. The first few months had me questioning my decision to leave the friendly confines of a role I understood to find myself overwhelmed and underqualified. Somehow things have worked out and the moments of feeling overwhelmed come less frequently, but I can say that the move was a smart one. I do miss my admissions family and the always-entertaining conversations with high schoolers, but there’s a lot of growth and potential that are keeping me on track in my current role.

As for my brother, well, it’s pretty cool to watch a younger sibling walk across the same stage I did four years earlier. There were a few new faces, but it was great to catch up with faculty and staff and feel confident that my brother’s education was in good hands. I still didn’t know the words to the alma mater, but to see the whole day in a new light and spend it with my family was a welcome trip back to the Hill. Now in his first year of teaching, it’s going to be great watching him develop and adjust to adulthood.

Other lessons from 2007:

• If Jud tells me something is potent… say, his egg nog… I will listen to the guy and cap myself somewhere around the 2-3 cups range;
• Also - if Jud is bbqing, I’m there;
• One more about Jud - the guy is a safe bet when crazy things happen, like car windows falling into the door frame;
• Managing a rec league team takes up way too much time and causes a lot of stress;
• Adjusting plans to see Over the Rhine’s Christmas concert is always a good idea;
• Speaking of concerts - when your favorite band is doing a farewell tour, it’s OK to put out of a few extra bucks to see them from decent seats… even if they appear emotionally drained;
• One more about concerts - taking the chance that Ryan Adams is going to have a good show is worth it;
• Driving a couple of hours out of my way to play golf with my dad and brother is never a bad idea;
• Never turn down a free ticket to a baseball game;
• When a car starts making any noises that aren’t normal, get it looked at sooner rather than later;
• Always appreciate someone who buys Bell’s for you;
• Michigan has a few redeeming qualities;
• People come and go, so make sure to enjoy having them around while you can;
• Bickering and complaining doesn’t accomplish much;
• My church family is full of surprises and apparently knows how to put on a good potluck;
• Watching so many friends take on adulthood is… kind of cool… and makes me think I might have a shot… someday;
• <sap alert> Roadtrips are a lot cooler with a girl who falls asleep on your shoulder</sap alert>;
• If you have the chance to take a long weekend and get out of the city, do it;
• Leaving the city reminds you how much you miss stars;
• The American Girl store is a creepy, creepy place;
• When friends are in Chicago, make time for them;
• Always appreciate people who contribute greatly to your life and make sure they know it while you can;
• and… some people in Chicago take kickball way too seriously.

That’s it for 2007… I’m guessing 2008 will have some pretty great highlights. Here’s hoping I can remember some of these lessons over the next year.

Who knew being a rec league softball team captain would be so stressful? I didn’t. That’s why I agreed to be a rec league kickball team captain as well. Dumb move. I think once both teams are up and running, it will be a lot easier. Getting everything off the ground and figuring out money and sponsorship though? Not fun. Why the heck don’t people respond to e-mails? Is it really that hard? Are you so important that taking literally 15 seconds to reply to an e-mail will cause the time-space continuum to slow to a halt?

GAH!

I’m working from home today, which is turning into nothing more than handling freaking kickball stuff. Thanks for e-mailing me our schedule this morning, kickball league! Why couldn’t more teams sign up for Monday nights? It was all set and everything was good to go… I just keep telling myself to find a happy place… the Bell’s 8000 batch in my fridge is helping a lot.

So yeah, I’m working from home today. I end up doing that about once or twice a week. It’s nice because I get to relax, but definitely not productive enough to do every day. Plus, I don’t think I could stand daytime TV every day.

Have you tried watching the morning shows on the main networks? The Today Show is nothing more than crap, crap, and more crap. I can just see the production meeting before the show… Producer: “Ok folks, so we’re going to start off this morning with a 10 minute story about amazing new lipsticks that contain sunscreen, bug repellent, AND are environmentally friendly, then we’re going to transfer to a pan shot of crazy people from Idaho dressed up as potatoes in the crowd. Then a commercial break where, interestingly enough, we have commercials for the lipstick and Idaho potatoes. After the commercial break, we’ll spend 30 seconds breaking down the top 15 news stories of the day, followed by a cooking segment with the cast of A High School Musical 17. We’ll wrap it up with a model show of this season’s hottest jeans designed just for moms and Al Roker pretending to talk about the weather.”

Awesome.

Wow.  I sound bitter and angry.  Kanye’s new album is making my day better though.

My grandma likes to tell me that the reason I have such a big head is because I have so much going on up there. It’s true - I have a huge melon of a head. Fitted hats? A luxury I am left wanting. Graduation caps that say “One Size Fits All?” The phrase alone makes my brother and I laugh. You should see my college graduation pictures…

So there are a lot of things bouncing around the noggin. For instance, how are the Cavs going to step up to a more talented team in the Eastern Conference Finals? How am I going to deal with a girlfriend who misguidedly supports said more talented team? Would LeBron become my best friend and pay off my college loan debt instead of building a house with his own barber shop? Important questions, indeed.

I guess post-season professional basketball isn’t the only topic on my mind. Take for instance this new job that has lasted almost four weeks already. The fun “I don’t really know what I’m doing but everybody is really nice and understanding” stage will be ending soon (if it hasn’t already…), and I think everyone will start to expect results. But what results do they want? Will I single-handedly bring down the entire organization? Where will I go for lunch today? Why isn’t there a Chipotle within walking distance? This isn’t Soviet Russia, you know.

In reality, when I’ve started to slow down a little, I come to the realization that life really is beautiful all the time… even when Chipotle is a little bit out of reach. I spent two whole weekends with my family, celebrating my brother’s college graduation and my mom… being a mom? I guess that’s reason enough to celebrate, but I’m not sure I need a day to celebrate and honor my mom. Just like I don’t need a day to tell my sweetheart how I feel about her. One of the weekends I took Sarah with me and my family took a little too much liking to her, which is better than not liking her at all I guess. Then there’s the fact that I’m getting paid to contribute to a nationwide effort of aggressive idealism geared towards closing the achievement gap and providing quality education to all kids. So I got that going for me… which is nice.
Oh, and it’s summer in Chicago…

…movies in the park, softball, grilling out in the park, outside seating at restaurants, baseball games, late night trips to Margie’s and Tastee Freez, Nickel Creek at Ravinia on August 10th!, working a flexible schedule with Friday afternoons off, 4th of July in Nebraska, festivals… and lots of humidity…

What’s that?  I couldn’t hear you due to the phone I have permanently attached to my ear.  A huge chunk of my first week has been spent dialing into informational introductions to the various offices and initiatives that I will be working with.  Back-to-back-to-back hour-long phone calls is not what I call a fun way to start a morning.  Thankfully I have a headset coming in soon, which hopefully means I will be hands-free in a matter of days.

Besides the phone issue, I think I’m really settling into this new role.  It has been such a crazy roller coaster - randomly stumbling across the job and building initial excitement; the highs and lows of the interview process; the giddy shock after hearing the offer; the stress of making a decision, wrapping up, and saying goodbye; anticipation and building doubts leading up to my first day; the overwhelming first day that leaked into the second day; the calm of the third day and finally starting to gain my bearings - I think I actually developed an ulcer at one point.  That made life fun.

But now I’m here, and unless I want to struggle through unemployment, I’ll be here for a while.  It’s an interesting feeling - wondering what it was that they saw in me that prompted the offer and trying not to annoy the crap out of the people around me in my first few weeks.  I successfully changed the huge water cooler bottle today without electrocuting myself.  I also managed to jimmy the key to the men’s room just enough to get the door to open in less than 30 seconds, which apparently is quite the accomplishment.  I’m batting .500 on my OfficeMax orders being successfully delivered; a feat that I seem to be alone in celebrating.

I’ve also started to settle into a new routine, which is nice.  I can pick between taking the bus to work, or parking within a couple blocks of the office.  Moving my start time to 8am has been a huge adjustment, but it does mean I get to leave at 4pm, leaving me an extra hour of sunny outdoors and lighter traffic for the ride home.  Of course, that means getting up earlier which, I can objectively say, sucks.  My new coffee maker helps a ton, but I’m not sure how much longer I can do this.

So, yeah, how about that.  No more weekends taken up by annoying suburbanite parents and definitely no working late 2 or 3 nights a week.  The possibility of working from home a couple days a week and the guaranteed 40 hour work week and… no driving to the burbs… wait… I won’t be spending 3 or 4 days of my week in the burbs this fall?  I won’t have to fight traffic both ways to talk to kids who really couldn’t care less about what I had to say?

This is where we dance.

Sure, I’ll miss the easy access to Culver’s and their delicious custard and satisfying cheese curds, but I’m OK with that, and I think my arteries are too.