the dreaming tree

for those that don’t know, i’m in a band; we’re called mayor dave and the shorter ones. i joined the group in october 2002, so we’re still getting our sealegs at shows and stuff. but we have already recorded a 5-song EP…that was a blast. it’s so cool to hear something that you helped create. anyway, i’ve been thinking about bands and playing music for a long time. this is my first time to be in an actual band, though i have desired to be in one since i was around 12 or 13. i never tried to force the issue, though. i never went out recruiting guys to come play with me or anything. i’ve always had the attitude that God would send me the right situation in his perfect timing. and this is that situation. i couldn’t ask for a nicer group of guys to play music with. it’s the most fun i’ve ever had, but i still want to work hard at it and perfect and fine-tune our sound. music is one of the few things that i actually enjoy putting some serious hard work into. in fact, sometimes at practice, i forget what i’m doing and become a little too serious about the whole thing. kinda like a professional athelete…i’m doing what i’ve always dreamed of. and the cool thing is i can put forth hardwork and have fun at the same time. now, i said all that to say what will be said in the next paragraph…

my roommate used to be in a band. it used to consume his life. everything he did revolved around the band. sure, he was in school, but he really didn’t care at all. the only thing that mattered to him was booking more and more shows, refining his style and hoping to make it big. he was in this band (originally altar ego, then changed to five star future) throughout my sophmore and junior years. and i was jealous. as i mentioned above, being in a band was all i ever wanted. i didn’t even care that i really wouldn’t fit into their style (punk). just let me play. in the two years they were together, altarego/fsf underwent three line-up changes. yeah. that’s a lot. the two that remained constant were the lead-singer (my roomie) and the drummer. i really can’t explain their lack of cohesion. the two constant members really wanted the band to work out…really wanted to devote their lives to creating music. but sadly, the other members who passed through the band never had complete dedication. it has now been seven and a half months since my roommate has played a show. he’s been depressed. i can’t blame him. his dreams have basically folded out from under him. for the past two years, he found all of his self-worth under the auspices of his band. and now that it’s gone, most likely forever, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. last night he warned me about getting too caught up in mayor dave, devoting too much time and energy to something that may not work out like my dreams dictate. he’s totally right. and, to my surprise, i am guarding myself against building up hopes of a rockstar career. i always said prior to mayor dave that if i only got to play one show as a band, i would be happy. and i truly think that i would be fine if mayor dave never played another show. not that i wouldn’t miss it…i would. i love it. but i haven’t attached myself so strongly to it that i’ll be dragged down if we aren’t re-elected (ok, there’s my lame-o attempt at humor). i already have more than i could have imagined…an album, several shows under my belt…however, i still expect to try my hardest. i’m not gonna just give-up if things aren’t looking up. i fully expect to devote myself as much as possible to furthering my band, just don’t expect my soul to be hanging on a limb trying to force things to work. if that is all confusing…i’m sorry i wasted ten minutes of your day. but if you can relate at all, i think you might see what i’m getting at–and it can be anything: photography, writing novels, dance…whatever. just remember that there is a specific reason for where you are right now. take full advantage of it and don’t sell yourself short, but also be prepared to pack up and move on if God desires. i think that’s enough for now.