a couple of top 5 lists
this is just off the top of my head, and these things change a lot anyway
albums
1. the beatles - revolver
2. ben folds - rockin’ the suburbs
3. caedmon’s call - self-titled
4. dave matthews band - before these crowded streets
5. pearl jam - vs.
films
1. the thin red line
2. high fidelity
3. memento
4. vanilla sky
5. minority report
dream jobs
1. rockstar
2. professional novelist
3. professional baseball player
4. architect
5. tom cruise (or something)
the saga of a broken finger
it all begins back on new year’s day of this year, which isn’t so new anymore. i was at the annual cereal bowl where i get to once again dominate the gridiron. that’s right…football. this particular morning, just like every other cereal bowl, the weather was a little less than warm and dry. but hey, football is football. midway through the first game (we played two), i lept into the air to catch a bad pass. unfortunately, the ball decided to collide with my fingers, rather than rest solidly in safety, and fall to the ground. this took a toll on one finger in particular…my left pinky finger. i immediately got that nauseous feeling, but no crying occured. it was the wind and the cold, i swear. the finger was mightily swollen and red, but i decided i could play on. and i did, eventually scoring some touchdowns and making a game-saving interception on the last play of the game, in double OT, to secure the championship. but i digress. at home, i iced the finger and cradled it in my…ok, nevermind. needless to say, it was swollen and very very tender. but i decided it was merely jammed, and went about my business. skip forward a month or so. i happened to be in the doc’s office and decided to ask him about the still very red, and quite swollen, not to mention tender, pinky. he felt it, said “hmm,” and decided it was just badly jammed and i merely had to wait. so i waited. and waited. two days ago, i was still waiting for it to heal completely. by this time, it was back to about 60% of what it was. (saying that just really makes me sound like a dork.) i happened to have a doctor’s appointment…same doctor. we decided to get an x-ray, and by we i mean the x-ray technician or whatever was hot. or something. to end the story and prove how bad i am at writing a good climax, the finger had indeed been broken…and healed. and now i get to wait another 6 months for it to completely heal. i’ll show anyone who wants to see. but there it is. i have finally (as if it’s a good thing) broken a bone in my body, but did not know it for 6 months. am i man, or an idiot?
i went to my little brother’s high school graduation tonight. it was mostly what i expected, since i had graduated from the same high school four years previously. but it still made me think some things. i realized how far i’ve come after four years of college, and how drastic of a difference it has made, despite my ineffable belief that it has not. and even worse, as far as i have come, it’s really nowhere at all. i’m still a very selfish person, obsessed with convincing myself that i can change the world. but since elementary school, i have been a supreme underachiever. the kind that makes you just sick. i mean, sometimes i look at a superior athlete my age, but not making efforts to go to the next level, and i just can’t comprehend why he wouldn’t make that effort. and suddenly, tonight, i realized that’s me…just not on the athletic field. i’m really not wanting to come across as bragging, cause i certainly have nothing to brag about, but all my life, teachers have somehow thought i was smart. even while making a c in my tenth grade biology class, my teacher said i was brilliant. so now all i have to do is apply it. as if that was the easy part. what i really wanted to say in this space was how empty i’ve made my life, reflected by my look back to high school and reflections on college…the things i’ve witnessed and heard, and seen my classmates do. i’ve gotta do something with my life…got to make a difference. but where?
so here’s a story for ya. i went to arkadelphia tuesday night to practice with mayor dave. i decided to spend the night there so i wouldn’t have to drive back late. well, the place where we practice is the baptist campus ministry building at hsu, because nick happens to live there as the “caretaker.” it’s a house sized building, kinda like a mini-church i guess. ok, so nick has a bedroom, and grady, who is staying there for the summer, has a bedroom rigged up in this empty conference room. there’s a couch in the room where we practice, which is the main room of the building, and so i claim that. the next morning, i awake to hear voices in the room, which i somewhat expected because the campus minister comes in and nick and all that. it wasn’t just them. it was an early-morning bible study. eating breakfast. while i was asleep on a couch in the middle of the room…in boxer-briefs only. this wouldn’t be such a problem except for one thing…there were girls there. girls that i didn’t know. and so therefore, i pretended to be asleep, even while one offered me breakfast, and such things as “there’s the mayor…asleep” and “this man has no shame” were spoken. you see, i decided that to remain “asleep” was a much better, and less embarrassing thing, than to get up and face all these, i’m sure, lovely men and women in my sleeping attire. later that day, i saw a guy at thrio’s coffeeshop. he was like, “hey, you’re that guy from the bcm that was sleeping on the couch.” “yes, i am.”
in an effort to be as cool as meg
last cigarette: do i look like james dean?
last car ride: home from barnes and noble
last library book checked out: the genesis code by john case
last movie seen: matrix reloaded
last book read: the genesis code
last cuss word uttered: prolly shit
last beverage drank: orange juice
last food consumed: cinnamon crispix…yum
last crush: i used to have a crush on this viola player…
last phone call: being a bookie has its downfalls…
last tv show watched: smallville…whine all you want
last time showered: this morning
last cd played: the used
last item bought: a new car…i wish…the truth is…i don’t use money. i barter.
last downloaded:music: two weeks ago…the modem at home doesn’t support that pastime
last annoyance: this morning…waking up
last disappointment: realizing i wasn’t tom cruise
last soda drank: barq’s root beer
last key used: house key
last words spoken: “why would i flush that?”
last sleep: four hours this morning
last im: couple minutes ago (hi geof)
last sexual fantasy/dream: don’t know, not for awhile now…darn
last weird encounter: this guy with a mullet winked at me…not really, but i can’t think of anything that really happened
last time wanting to die: mmm…can’t remember
last time hugged: tuesday
last time scolded: tuesday
last chair sat in: this one…who wrote this questionnaire? why wouldn’t i be sitting right now? (yeah, what meg said)
last lipstick used: obviously meg wrote this…or a girl…or not me…
last underwear worn: nice striped boxers…i KNOW you all wanted to know that
last bra worn: prolly not
last shirt worn: retro polo
last webpage visited: where else? caedmon’s call.net
well…the summer thus far hasn’t been much. the most exciting thing was driving through a LOT of rain and tornado warnings (or watches, whichever one means they’re on the ground) to a concert that got cancelled, and then driving back through the heart of the storm, braving death, to see the matrix. was it worth it? well, why not? i’m still alive. i got to hang out with grady for awhile. and i saw a pretty good movie. sure, it had it’s downfalls, but overall it was quality. and i think the third one will be back to the standards set by the first. it better be. either way, i’m really anxious to see the outcome. and furthermore, to see what the w brothers come up with next. will they be the next big thing? or are they a one-hit wonder? anyway, it’ll be interesting.
i have a confession…i think. i’m a trekkie. kinda. maybe. i shed a tear at the end of nemesis. does that seal it? i hate watching the original, cause i simply can’t deal with the bad acting and terrible special effects. (much the same for any show of that era.) but i really like the others. that’s all. i’m devoid of interesting material. go read mic’s and meg’s blog.
wander
the stinging desert wind
steadily rising as if urged on
by a higher authority
biting, it is hurting me
can i trust it, or will
i be abandoned?
like the blanket too short
for my bed, the truth never
entirely covers my contorted
body, convulsing in an attempt
to realize its message, screaming,
sweating, it won’t find me
can i become? what?
help me, i must succeed
when i was younger, though
still i am, wandering, searching;
help me. allow the fall to be
cushioned by the softness of your
Power.
i’m in a band (above) called mayor dave and the shorter ones. we’ve got some tunes on mp3.com. here’s the link: www.mp3.com/mayordave
tell me what you think…please?
just please, please…don’t park your plane on the wrong side of town.
there are so many creative people in this world. it’s both amazing and scary at the same time, because while i am somewhat creative, there are always always gonna be people out there that are ten times more creative. it is incredible, though, that there can be so many unique individuals, so many original ideas…and so many of them that never get noticed, except perhaps my close family and friends. but yet people continue to create, some with the goal of sharing it with the world, some that don’t care who sees it and still others that are scared to death that another living soul will chance upon it. the scary thing is, i’m in a field (music) that requires a lot of creativity and originality, but still does not in any way guarantee success (however you measure that). no matter how good you are, the chances are that your total creative output will become lost and never known outside a personal universe that you hide in your closet. the challenge is immense. the portal narrow. but still i plunge ahead, even in mediocrity, hoping that my life and original works will surpass the odds and revolutionize this world. or at least make me some money…
ok, what’s with april showers bringing may tornadoes? seriously, in the past six days, there has been a tornado warning or watch four times! i mean, wow. on thursday, while the girls were being forced to sit in their safe position in the hallways, the guys from my dorm were hanging out on the porch (out of the rain…and hail) hoping to catch a glimpse of the tornado that was on the ground, headed our way. but it always seemed to be 17 miles away. it was the slowest moving tornado ever. so i never got to see a funnel cloud. did see golfball-sized hail, though.
mayor dave has been playing a lot recently. it’s so freakin awesome. i always knew i would love being in a band…and it’s ten times better than i ever expected. i have never felt as comfortable as i do when i’m up on stage. never. i’m completely relaxed and having fun and not worried about anything else in the world. oh it’s wonderful. it might be better than sex. but i guess i really wouldn’t know about that, huh? soooo, annnnyway…maybe i better go practice…
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