i’ve been thinking that i should take a break from the online community. not just cc.net, but IM and maybe even e-mail. i seem to be so consumed and dedicated to preserving whatever it is i have online, that i neglect real-life friendships and responsibilities. my soul longs to be loved, just as any human’s, and that may be why i spend so much time here. it’s almost impossible NOT to find a friend that you can talk to online. for one thing, i can be whoever i want. but to be honest, although a few times i’ve actually gone into an IMversation with the intention of behaving as non-david as possible. it always ends up lasting about three lines. i just can’t pretend like that. not even behind the mask of a screen. which makes things especially difficult in person. if i’m not feeling good, well, it’s very obvious. i’m terrible at hiding my feelings. as usual i digress…so i struggle with just how much time is appropriate to pour into the online community. because i do feel like i get something out of my discussions with online people…but at what cost? can i afford it? it would seem the answer is no.