the dreaming tree

this.is.hilarious. enjoy…

well, this is gonna be one of those boring “here’s what i’ve been up to recently” posts. but here’s what i’ve been up to…

it’s the last day of the last week of the 2003 fall semester at ouachita baptist university. did i accomplish my goals this semester? no. did i come close? no. do i have hope for next semester? yes. many of you that read this already know that i struggle regularly with depression, and this semester has been one of the worst. some days, some weeks, i literally can’t force myself to do what i know has to be done. it is incredibly frustrating. things came to a front about two and a half weeks ago and i hit what i would consider my all time low. since then, i have really confronted myself and my illness and i think i am finally crawling out of the greased bucket i somehow ended up in. i say i, but really i mean God. i’m learning more and more daily, almost exponentially, how much i have to, have to, rely on him for everything. there isn’t a thing i can do for myself. i think that’s one issue that i was stumbling over big time. i kept thinking to myself, “well, if i can just do this, then i’ll let God take over…” nope. that isn’t how it works. surrender to God and then change will occur. so, thanks be to God that 1) he has rescued me from the miry clay AGAIN, 2) this semester is over, 3) i have hope for tomorrow. hope. what a satisfying word. i like for it to linger on my lips and stay on top of my mind…it is refreshing…like a cool breeze on a sultry day. yes…i think i will let that word stay for awhile. hope.