the dreaming tree

tell me something beautiful,
but maybe not so typical
as a walk on the beach
or cuddling by the fire.
cause i need more
than just air to breathe,
or a sweet idea
of what love is meant to be.

but where are we now,
that it seems like so long ago
when we both believed what we said.

and through it all
i pinch myself to sleep
and live the dream
that i want to awake to,
but it flickers away in a
mist of misunderstanding
and causes pity to rain down
and wash the ground away
into nothing.

*************************************

no words of mine
are good enough to suffice
for a long song of love
sung to music
unable to move
quite like you do
so while you listen
imagine for me
that i’m fillin’
the space between us
admireably
i wish i could sing
the perfect love song
for this love of mine
but this is what i offer:
meager words
with a request;
don’t give up on me just yet
i want to make you happy
love
you know how happy you make me

another failed attempt,
i tried again.
but these tired lines,
they never show my eyes
or where i’ve been;
it’s a futile experiment
to shed some light
on the life i lead.

the lines avoid the mystery,
and my power over them is
diminished
as i seek understanding.

i’m just annoyed at churches that fail their congregations by not preaching the Gospel. Jesus is not there to make you feel better about yourself and applaud your efforts. i hear sermons and lessons that revolve around the tenet “we need you Jesus,” but never truly describe why. it’s so feel-good oriented. i guess it would be tragic if you offended someone into thinking they couldn’t do anything to help themselves. guess what? the Gospel is offensive. it is going to bring you to your knees. it will also bring you unspeakable joy. it will change your life, redefine you. and there’s nothing more that you can do. to quote derek webb, “there can be nothing added, nor anything taken away from the perfect salvation we have in Jesus. we cannot add our best intentions, most righteous deeds, or even tears over our own sin, all we have is Jesus, and without Him we have nothing.” do you believe that?

gotta love phone conversations that carry on deep into the night. i do.

and also, jared and i worked on a song, for real this time, and got a lot accomplished. a lot. it’s so exciting to create music, especially in the comfort of your own home…or dorm room. now if we can only decide on a band name…

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

so the book would be the best american short stories (2002)…

As I was counting, I thought of something.

well, that was fun.

well, i meant to write something yesterday about easter. but i didn’t. but here’s something i dug up on the history of easter…and i’m now on a quest to find a new and better name for the holiday. feel free to give me suggestions.

Since its conception as a holy celebration in the second century, Easter has had its non-religious side. In fact, Easter was originally a pagan festival.

The ancient Saxons celebrated the return of spring with an uproarious festival commemorating their goddess of offspring and of springtime, Eastre. When the second-century Christian missionaries encountered the tribes of the north with their pagan celebrations, they attempted to convert them to Christianity. They did so, however, in a clandestine manner.

It would have been suicide for the very early Christian converts to celebrate their holy days with observances that did not coincide with celebrations that already existed. To save lives, the missionaries cleverly decided to spread their religious message slowly throughout the populations by allowing them to continue to celebrate pagan feasts, but to do so in a Christian manner.

As it happened, the pagan festival of Eastre occurred at the same time of year as the Christian observance of the Resurrection of Christ. It made sense, therefore, to alter the festival itself, to make it a Christian celebration as converts were slowly won over. The early name, Eastre, was eventually changed to its modern spelling, Easter.

“the giant rabbit” by david (ca. 1986-1987)

once long ago there lived a rabbit. this was no ordinary rabbit. he was huge, tremendous! it was a giant rabbit. it ate huge carrots. it even ate people! one time when he was jogging he stepped on a man and squashed him. the man was mad at him. he said he was sorry. then he decided to fly in his helicopter. he landed on another man. then he went home. he was sad. he had no friends. he had no wife. then he drank some magic potion and shrank, but he shrank too small and somebody squashed him and that was the end of him.

hmm…i’m looking for something to write about. i can’t think of anything good, though. i’m not really tired right now, so i’m not going to bed just yet. i want to be a producer for rock bands. i also want to be in a full-time band for awhile. tomorrow i get to play my violin in a piano quintet (a string quartet plus a piano), which is exciting because three of the five are professionals. so it’s gonna be really good, and i’m part of it. that pleases me. for those wondering, it’s gonna be in mabee recital hall at 3, and it’s the only thing on the “program.” long story. oh, the piece we’re playing is the franck piano quintet in f minor. really, really cool. i think i want to sell my ovation guitar and get either a martin or a larivee. i like showers.

hello m’dear,
can’t you see how clear it is?
not to sound mean,
but it’s pretty plain and simple.

so why don’t you take a break,
sit back and think about it.
cause then maybe you’ll make
sense to yourself;
you don’t deceive me,
i know there’s something wrong.

i’ve got nothing specifically to say tonight. i just want to say how wonderful the past two weeks have been for me. i’m in such a great mood…always. i pray this lasts forever, even though i know there will be tough times again…however, i have renewed hope in Christ, something i had been lacking recently, and i know that His will is perfect and mine is seriously, seriously flawed. that’s all.

not to brag or anything…

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
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i’ve been trying to write an entry for the past week or so about God and his creative majesty, but i can’t even fathom the riches. i can’t find words, though i keep trying. there has to be a way to express this in language for others to read. i just haven’t found it.

one of the things that literally excites me when i consider these things is God’s sheer creative power; the world contains so many diverse species, colors, landscapes, and everything in between, that the magnitude of it all astonishes me. He is God. who could possibly imagine the things that are His, tucked away for His glory alone, on some planet 150 light years away? on this earth, there are just millions of things, big and little, hidden and obvious, that showcase God’s creativity. take, for instance, the migration of birds. it is such a complex cycle that scientists spend years studying migratory patterns in an attempt to understand them. another example is the color spectrum which invigorates our eyes with millions of shades of blues and greens and reds. and not only are they just there, anyone willing to study nature can extrapolate the depths of complexity behind almost anything.

God designed us to enjoy his creation as no other animal can. to appreciate it, care for it, revel in it. these are things which i am guilty of neglecting. God also graciously gave us our own imaginations so that we, too, could create things. it is truly a gift from God to be able to create using His creation; anything from a painting to a birdfeeder to a building a computer is a result of our creative power, granted from the Most High. that excites me. to know that i share a (very diminished) ability to build things, thought up and designed from within me. everything i create, whether a piece of music or a flower bed, should reflect God’s glory above all things. i think we are charged to use our abilities for His glory by creating and improving, not in a mediocre manner, but exploiting the brain, seeking the imagination that God provided and creating.