the dreaming tree

so, i just bought a ralph stanley cd and some blues cds, including “jimi hendrix: blues.” doc stanley is my new favorite voice to listen to, and the only disappointing thing about the cd is that about half of it is instrumental. the instrumental stuff is quite good as well, but i bought the cd to hear his voice. oh well, i guess that means i’ll have to buy another of his cds. the other blues that i got are compilations from a series called crucial blues; i got “texas” and “live.” there’s also “chicago,” “harmonica,” “slide guitar” and “guitar.” in addition to those items, i purchased several new books, which quite a great feeling cause i haven’t done that in awhile. i got AnOther e. e. cummings, which is a “mind-bending selection of the avant-garde cummings–poetry and prose.” i also purchased the novel bel canto, by ann patchett, and a collection of oscar wilde plays, most notably including the importance of being earnest, but also with lady windermere’s fan. on top of that i added a stephen king novel, ’salem’s lot. i’ve come to really appreciate king’s writing. i used to think he wasn’t that good of a writer, just popular because of the horror aspect, and also because he wrote so many books. but the guy is actually a great writer and i’m taking in some of his stuff. (an aside: if you’ve ever thought about writing, or enjoy writing, i highly highly recommend reading his book on writing. really very insightful and fun to read. to round this out, i might as well mention that i also bought jimi hendrix experience’s “bbc sessions,” the kinks’ “bbc sessions,” the rasmus’ “dead letters,” “this is americana” (sampler), brave saint saturn’s “the light of things hoped for” and further seems forever’s newest, the title of which escapes me at the moment. lots of good music to be listened to, that’s for sure, and lots of words to read, too. oh yeah, i’m in school…that puts a damper on extra stuff. actually, speaking of that, my class on john milton is officially going to be amazing. potentially the best class i’ve had in college thus far, as long as i keep up with the reading and everything. and lastly, i made a tremendous catch at ultimate practice today. it was in the endzone, and the guy that was supposed to catch it missed, and so as it sailed past me, i dove backwards and snagged it. i got some high-fives. and all the veteran players know my name, so that’s cool. this has been a boring entry, i realize, so here’s a poem/song, as if that would make it any better.

i wrote a love song once,
but i can’t quite remember the key or the melody.
maybe this is how it went…
or something like this…
i just don’t know,
cause i thought i had it finished,
but my mind evaporated all the words
and left a blank sheet.

so i’ve gotta start over again
and expecting the same thing
seems, in a way, obscene,
cause i just don’t know if it’s possible
to compose one after the original
that’s half as good as that first
song of love.

but something inside me says otherwise,
and though i don’t even know what’s on the horizon,
i still hope in nothing less
than someday hearing someone say,
i love you.

ok, here’s the deal. i feel lonely today, but i am not going to regale you with the long treatise i just typed out on girl/guy interaction, using my experiences as the thesis and seeing a rather pessimistic view drape itself around the argument, leading to no conclusion whatsoever and defeating any present confidences of rectifying said situation, for it is a farce.

well, i’m sitting in my new apartment that i will be moving from in three weeks when we take over a three-bedroom model. i’m feeling this weird duality that i don’t know how to explain. on one hand everything feels very new and strange and i’m adjusting. (for those that don’t know, i just transferred to the univ. of arkansas.) on the other proverbial hand, i feel comfortable, adjusted and ripe. i’ve got some classes i’m pretty excited about, too. i’m taking an intro to philosophy class as part of the core requirements here. i’m also taking a junior-level english class on john milton that i’m taking just because i want to (and because i have hours to fill). of course i’ve got music composition and violin lessons, but i also get to be in the symphony orchestra, which is one of the biggest things i wished ouachita had. speaking of ouachita, i do miss it…well, not so much ouachita but the people i know there, and also the familiarity i had with the surroundings. this morning i just drove around for awhile to see what was there. we have a mall and a best buy and a barnes and noble and used bookstores and a movie theater. really quite a different atmosphere. i also met with the reformed university fellowship minister and found out when those meetings are and also where the local PCA church is located. that is very exciting to me…a church that i will actually lik e to attend is nearby. and then there’s the whole living in an apartment for the first time. i have to shop for groceries and plan meals and all this other stuff. pretty crazy. anyway, there’s your scattered and smothered and covered mixture of my thoughts and things.

how is everyone?

that question doesn’t make sense in a blog post. i’m out.

word of the day: ceteris paribus

sometimes i cry while i’m watching a live dvd of a really good band. why you ask? well, i’m insanely jealous of their job. they routinely rock people’s faces off…for a living. i mean, what more could you want? plus, they’re just so good that my emotions get blown away. what bands do i speak of? well, a short list would be pearl jam, dave matthews band, coldplay, u2, jeff buckley (not a band…but…he counts…)…the list could grow to infinity. and i don’t even want to get into the feelings i develop at an amazing live show. i was near giddy seeing thursday and juliana theory; murder by death was, in a word, a-freakin’-mazing, and there are many, many other nights were i have felt a well of emotion bubble up inside of me while watching the band onstage. and then when i’m playing a show, i just can’t help but laugh sometimes from the sheer joy of it all. it seriously overwhelms me. it drives me. my energy is at its peak when we take the stage and i hear the first chords of our opener, and it lasts until the last chord dies off. when i’m on stage, nothing else in the world matters to me; i’m just up there having the time of my life, hopefully showing the audience a good time, as well. i don’t know where i’m trying to go with this. i just want to be in a band that people love to listen to. not so that i’m famous, but so that i can see people’s faces being rocked to the hilt every night. that’s my dream.

today’s word: obeisance

another poem…by the way, a lot of these are just scratchings i made with a pencil and haven’t really edited.

i never said it would be easy,
but i never thought it’d be so hard.
cause day after day
i’m still here wonderin’ why
things change and hearts break.
where’s the cure?
cause who needs that anyway?

c’mon baby, now, let’s dance
and wish upon a star,
wish for dreams worth livin’,
and a love everlastin’.

i never liked to take chances,
but i’d wish upon a star;
and even in the moon’s shadow,
my dreams make me believe
in something more.

today’s word: amphigory

well, an update on becoming a rockstar is on for today’s post. i changed the strings on my guitar and played a little and then listened to some music for inspiration. after that i worked on different stage moves and tried to think of some quips to use between songs, but didn’t think of any; it’s mostly spontaneous for me. i think that covers it. i will remain ruthless in my pursuit of rockdom.

today’s word: milquetoast

you can look it up if you don’t know it (i didn’t and did).

i’ve decided to become a rockstar. the world needs me.

i wonder if a spider sits back and admires her first web.

i wonder if bees have a favorite color.

i wonder if we’ll ever visit another solar system.

i wonder who invented chewing gum.

and what if jesus had really curly hair and a sparse beard?