it’s the way it is

as much as i hate admitting it, i care an awful lot about how people perceive me and how accepted i am. i like to think i’m one of the cool ones, one of the ones that doesn’t bother with thinking about how others perceive me, one who just does his own thing and is always fine with it. but i’m not. it tears me up inside. am i living up to people’s expectations, good or bad? am i being cool enough? i especially hate being in a group where i want so badly to be accepted and all i can do is sit silently and wish something brilliant or funny would enter my mind, so that i could break the perception that i am the superior boring person there. but it doesn’t happen, and i sink deeper into a self-created pit of sullenness and further from being fun. and that sucks for everyone.

from my friends in as cities burn

and i will hold
i will hold your head above the water
while the current pulls me under
as long as you have breath, my dear
i will dance with death

and i will hang my life in the space between
the noose and your neck
and i won’t let you die just yet

i will love you even when you won’t let me
and you will kill me by doing nothing
(nothing, nothing)
but i know it’s not you, my dear, i know it’s not you
i know it’s not you, my dear
it’s the nothing that kills

i can’t save you
control is something out of mine
no i can’t save you
control is something out of my control

i will love you even when you won’t let me
and you will kill me by doing nothing
but i know it’s not you, my dear, i know it’s not you
i know it’s not you, my dear
it’s the nothing that kills
nothing

i can’t save you, but i will love you
i can’t save you, but i will love you
i can’t save you, but i will love you
i can’t save you
but i will love you
i like to think that this is love
lost in second chances without end
this is romance
this is romance