the dreaming tree

dear girls,

please stop with the tight or/and low-cut shirts. it’s not helping. thank you.

management

i’m not a huge bach fan, but you simply can’t beat the sonatas and partitas for solo violin. i just started learning one (partita no. 3 in E major), and it’s, at the same time, fun to play and ridiculous hard. and it’s not even the hardest one. these works are just about the closest one can come to perfection in music, in my estimation. they’ve got everything: fast, slow; joyous, mournful; simple, profound. i can’t wait to meet this guy in heaven.

in other news, i think i’m going to cut my nearly shoulder-length hair back to this:

it’s time.

laura pahl, student at eastern illinois, is a plagiarist.

how could someone really be this dumb? i wonder how the school will handle it. i wonder how laura will handle being exposed. it’s entertaining, but also a sad indication of students in our country…though perhaps not often this extreme. simply stunning.

(i found this at geof’s site, but i wanted to post it here, too, for those that don’t read him.)

so here are my predictions for how the 2005 major league baseball season will turn out:

NL:
east: mets
central: cardinals
west: dodgers
wild card: braves

AL:
east: yankees
central: twins
west: angels
wild card: red sox

i wish i could put the rangers in there, at least at wild card, but until they drastically improve their starting pitching, i can’t do it. it really sucks to have one of the best lineups in the american league combined with pitiful pitching. sometimes i feel as if i could help them out on the mound. hm…maybe i should start working out…

there is apparently a group that wants to change the easter bunny to the garden bunny. now, i’m not really an easter bunny kinda person, just like i’m not really a santa claus type of person, but what is the deal here? it seems that the easter part offends some people. not that a bunny has a whole lot to do with easter, but why should they be offended? no one is forcing them to celebrate, or participate, in what the easter bunny represents. (actually, i’m not sure what it is intended to represent, and i’m quite sure that the tradition of a bunny has nothing to do with Christ rising from the grave.) so why? if you don’t like that people are celebrating easter, choose to ignore it. i see no sense in trying to repress something of this nature, other than bringing attention to yourself. i don’t think a case can be made that it is unfair to non-christians for there to be an easter bunny. it isn’t a question of political correctness. no one is being intentionally excluded. and i don’t think anyone is being forced to acknowledge the truth of easter through an easter bunny. i’m not really worked up about this, just confounded. everyday someone thinks of something new (or old) to complain about and demands they be accomodated. get over yourself, please.

oh, and happy easter.

all the brackets i filled out for march madness are screwed. it’s time for baseball season now. actually, college baseball has already started, and the razorbacks are no. 5 in the nation after taking two of three from the gamecocks of south carolina, then ranked no. 2. that’s pretty awesome, especially after the ridiculous basketball season. oh, and not that i’m a huge track fan, but we just won our 40th national championship a couple of weeks ago, so that’s pretty salty. i’m feeling the razorback love.

i need something philosophical to discuss next time. hmm…

spring break starts today and you know what i’m doing? i’m staying in fayetteville to work. yes! monday-thursday, 8-5. this is gonna be the best spring break ever! if i’m lucky, i won’t even hang out with anyone all week. i’ve even got work i can do for school, once i get home from work. shibby!

i just filled out a ridiculously long survey…and then it got deleted. and i don’t want to do it all again. so i’ll just write about something else. i wish i had a girlfriend. this is selfish, i know. and what do i want a girlfriend for? not so i can say i have a girlfriend, or so i can have someone to makeout with…no, i just want somone that i feel that close to again. i want someone to be concerned with me, to desire me and what little i have to offer, to hold me close when i feel unhappy…but i also miss being able to devote myself, in turn, to all the needs and desires of someone else. but maybe i’m not ready for that, or am not capable of providing that. like i said, it’s a pretty selfish wish, and i realize that i could be in this position of singleness for a very long time, so i don’t need to be dwelling on what i don’t have. i wish i could just abandon these selfish desires and be content with the situation. after all, i need a lot of work, and sitting around feeling sorry for myself sure isn’t advancing the cause. but that’s my heart. God save it.

i’m in love with a girl
who doesn’t even know my name,
but that’s alright,
cause i have tried, but
not seen and deciphered

and how long will i spin
in a cycle of lost causes
and broken hearts?
cause i don’t know
how much more i can take

as i slide back and forth
between waves of distress,
and feel vainly devoted
to a promise beyond
my understanding

i’d rather sing and dance,
and laugh outloud,
and write a song
that i’ll only play for you
when we fall in love

but even as i write these words,
my mind speeds down
that lonely desert highway,
while my heart strains
to hitch a ride home

so here’s to you,
my love,
when you hear me
i’ll be screaming:
she’s mine forever

and you will be mine,
until time no longer matters
and our hearts are melded into one;
and this is not just love,
this is romance

i hate it when teachers only give a couple of tests the entire semester. tomorrow i’m having my first test of the semester in a particular class, and it’s just kind of annoying to me. it’s not that i can’t handle it, i’d just prefer to have a few more chances in case i screw something up. but hey, this is college, right? so i better just shut up and do the work.

by the way, songs for a new world is an excellent musical, as is jason robert brown’s other one, the last five years. actually, the last five years is simply astounding. i love it. for those that don’t know, it’s about two lovers who meet, fall in love, get married, and separate within five years. it’s told from their two perspectives…only the story starts at the end of the relationship and goes to the beginning in the part of kathy, and in the part of jamey, from the beginning to the end. so the story crosses in the middle, at the only time that the two singers sing together. it’s very complex and very rewarding to listen to. i’d love to see it on stage sometime. and i highly recommend it.

24 is one of the most amazing television shows ever. it’s also the most addicting…at least it is when you have the entire season on dvd. for whatever reason, i had never seen the show until this semester, when a couple of my friends were watching season one on dvd once when i came over to their house. i stayed and watched the next 10 episodes with them. last week i borrowed season 1 and 2, and have already finished both (33 episodes), and this wednesday i started season 3. i only took the first disc, with the first four episodes, and i’ve already watched all four, and now i want to know what happens. but instead i have to go to school and work. i don’t know how involved i would get with the show if i weren’t watching it on dvd, because i would probably forget to watch one week or another, which would be annoying, and i don’t know if i could sustain interest throughout an entire season. i don’t think i’ve ever been devoted to a show so much that i just had to watch every week, and for that i am glad…but when the entire season is just sitting there in front of me, and every episode ends with something shocking, i’m very nearly compelled to continue watching. be weary, dear readers, of this show, especially on dvd, because it will suck you in and not let go. and while you’re there, it’ll drive you insane with all the plot twists and turns…so much that you might start dreaming about it. i woke up a couple of days ago and thought that the events i had seen on the show were real ones…and that i knew jack bauer himself. i’m such a nerd.

i need to play a concert soon or i will wither like a plant with no water.

last year for my spring break, i took a trip to seattle, wa. it was one of the funnest trips i’ve taken in recent memory, but it was also sad. well, at the end, anyway…because the people i met and hung out with are people that i may never see again. ever. and i had such a great time. i remember thinking that i felt like i was able to be completely myself for the first time in a long time, which was particularly unusual considering these were friends that i was hanging out with for the first time. the first time, you say? how could this be? you see, i was visiting and staying with people i had met online. call me a freak if you want, but in the past few years, some of my closest friendships have developed from interaction on the internet, especially with people from the community of caedmon’s call fans at rocksmyfaceoff.net. anyway, i was just remembering the great time i had last year with morgan and julie and family, sarah and julie. we spent a couple of hours at a denny’s my last night, late into the night, because i had a 5 or 6 am flight, and that was such a marvelous time with much laughter and joy. only a few hours later i was alone on a plane trying not to cry. a year after that i still miss them, even though i’ve recently not been good at keeping in touch. it’s kinda weird what the internet can do, huh? i wish i was better at making friends in real life, and i wish i had more friends that i can hang out with on a regular basis, but i wouldn’t give up those from the net for anything. i miss you guys…let’s talk again soon. those that i do still get to talk to, let’s keep it up. please.

this might seem weird to some of y’all, but i’m really missing ouachita recently. not only is fayetteville a billion times bigger than ouachita, i also don’t know anyone. every day walking to class i see zero people that i recognize, much less anyone that i can say hi to. i feel pretty familiar with the campus itself and everything, and i know where i’m going…but i’m really missing knowing people. i didn’t even know that many people at ouachita, but i miss them. i want to go to the music building and actually see music majors that recognize me. i want to have someone to talk to after a recital. i want to be able to walk across the hall and see someone i can talk to. it’s really hard making new friends while living off-campus, too. so yeah, i’m lonely…that’s the basic point of this post.

tonight i went to a very disappointing senior composition recital. i could go on a rant about why i would not have passed her, but i don’t want to. for one, i’m sure she worked hard on her pieces…you pretty much have to in order to get to the actual recital stage. but the quality was so lacking that it really shocked me. furthermore, she reported via her program notes her intentions on some of these pieces, and frankly they were just almost appalling. i can scarcely believe her teacher allowed the majority of these pieces to constitute a senior honors composition recital. many of her pieces deliberately sought to emulate a style of the past, for instance an eighteenth-century german art song, or the baroque style. why is a 21st-century student being allowed to pursue writing of this nature for a graduating recital? this is poor scholarship in my estimation. it seemed more like i was listening to mere exercises than original, thoughtful works. again, i hate to rant like this, because i’m sure she spent ample amount of time on these projects, and intended to produce art. in fact, i may blame her professor more than i would point the finger at her for delivering such mediocrity. if she didn’t realize she should be trying to push herself to explore new music, rather than merely copying the past, that cannot entirely be blamed on her, can it? there is a distinction between studying and learning from the past and forging new paths in music, and it may often fall to the professor to accentuate the proper direction. i’ve said too much…but i just can’t help thinking that i can do much better. and will.

my computer has been broken for the last few weeks, so i haven’t had a chance to update without internet at home. my harddrive became corrupted one day and i lost all my mayor dave photos and some other things, too. but now i’m back and running. actually, i’m sitting, because i find it easier to type in this position. anyway, here’s an entry:

shower drains make me nervous. i’m serious. i hate seeing it down there when i’m taking a shower cause it starts to freak me out. but i also don’t like to turn away from it, because i need to keep an eye on it to be sure i’m safe. and yes, i do have a reason, but i’m hesitant to share it, because i don’t want more people being afflicted with this fear, for mine did not start until i saw a story on dateline back in my high school days. the particular incident happened during a bath, not a shower, but i can’t help but get nervous. fortunately, it isn’t a fear that prevents me from taking a shower…just something that nags at me nearly everytime i do.