i want to post a new poem, but unfortunately it still sucks. so i will post an old one because i like it and because some of you may not have read it.
say whatever you want
as long as it’s real
and i won’t pressure you
to reveal the slightest thing
but you should know
that i’ve got a sneaking suspicion
that things aren’t quite how they seem
c’mon now, i don’t wanna dance
in a clumsy two-step forever,
leave me out
or let me in,
but this lie isn’t befitting
of who i thought you were
so don’t play this game
cause i’ve seen all your cards
and you’ve got an empty hand
__________________________
tell me something beautiful,
but maybe not so typical
as a walk on the beach
or cuddling by the fire,
cause i need more
than just air to breathe,
or a sweet idea
of what love is meant to be.
where are we now,
that it seems like so long ago
we both believed
our precious notions.
and through it all
i pinch myself;
but i’m trapped in restless sleep,
looking for the dream
that i want to awake to,
but it flickers away in a
mist of misunderstanding
and causes pity to rain down
and wash the ground
away into some nothing.
and so day after day
i sit lonesome,
wishing for something typical;
just for starters i’ll build you a fire,
and we can walk along the beach
to your heart’s desire,
if you promise not to go,
and i’ll call you beautiful,
because that’s who you are.
i decided to post two because i can.
last night i went to the travelers game with some old and new friends. actually just one old friend and a crop of new ones, but it was still great fun. the travelers won pretty dramatically and that pleased me. i forget how much i love baseball until i go to a game or just watch one on tv. in other news, i’m not getting to play ultimate tonight because our church softball team needs me and my brother to play, else they forfeit, so we’re doing that. it won’t be as much fun as frisbee, but i’ll give it my best.
another reminder: father maple show friday @ thrio’s w/ kaleo and hence reverie. starts at 7:00. we will rock you.
ok, i need to loose some frustration. last night was ultimate frisbee league night, and my team got destroyed, 13-5. it’s because we might have the worst team of all time. we’ve got all these beginners who don’t have any idea what they’re doing. now, i can appreciate people learning a new sport and making errors in the process, but 1) this is the third week of league and 2)those of us who do know what is going on have explained what we need to do dozens of times and they still don’t know what they’re doing. and there were also multiple dropped passes. i made a few bad throws, so i’m not claiming i’m a perfect player or anything, but i made them trying to play the right way. i felt like my brother and i were the only ones doing anything to prevent losing, though that’s not really the case…i just get frustrated when i see so much going wrong and see no hope for winning and it makes it really hard to have a good time. but afterwards we played some pick-up games, and that was pretty fun. i’ve only got one more night of frisbee before i have to go back to fayetteville, so i’m hoping it’s a good one.
i got another haircut today, and since it was funded by my mother, i had to have it cut according to her wishes. the result is even shorter than it was back in the spring, but the same basic style. ah well, my hair grows fast, so i will have rockstar hair soon enough. this means that i’ll have to rock extra hard during shows to compensate for the shorter length.
i got to hang out last night with julie for the first time in approximately ten years, so that was awesome. also got to meet her friend mandy who interestingly enough had a desire to meet little ol’ me. actually, i’m pretty tall, so i guess not little. anyway, thanks to julie for talking me up and making me seem cool so i didn’t have to start from scratch. or something. it was a fun time, and that made me smile.
last night in thrio’s, i was asked, “didn’t you use to be mayor dave?” it made me smile. i miss the shorter ones: nick, strobbe and grady. i hope i get to play with them again sometime. but for now, i am quite pleased with being in father maple, writing new music and inventing our style. i hate to sound cocky, especially when we haven’t done anything, but i think we have the potential to be a great band. come see us play and decide for yourself…
july 1st @ thrio’s w/ hence reverie and kaleo
july 9th @ dequeen, ar w/ kaleo and coin laundry loser
july 15th @ soundstage in conway, ar w/ tba
aug. 6th @ powerhouse in jonesboro, ar w/ tba
a toast…to mayor dave and the shorter ones. and to the future of father maple.
i’ve been delivering phone books the past couple of days. yes, it’s for money. not very much, but way better than the nothing i was making sitting around wallace’s apartment watching movies all day.
thursday night i played softball with my church; i played shortstop, which was really exciting to me, because i love fielding groundballs. and shortstop usually gets a few, as opposed to first base, which is where i was playing in fayetteville. i did make one error, a bad throw, but i fielded everything well, so i was pleased with that. and also my arm didn’t hurt when i threw. speaking of throwing, here’s a funny incident. first inning i get a grounder and throw it to first, as you do in that situation. and then i watch in horror as the first baseman drops the ball. then i stare in amazement as he cradles his bleeding hand and walks off the field. it was really bleeding. yes, i cut open a guy’s finger with a softball. i don’t understand how or why his hand was there, instead of his glove, but it happened. very strange, no?
yesterday and today father maple practiced. the first we were a little rusty at first, but by the end we had learned a new song. saturday’s practice was even better. we’re improving so rapidly, no one will know what hit them…when we hit them…with our amazing music. yeah. anyway, there’s a show in arkadelphia on tuesday with stellamarris and colour revolt. thrio’s at 7:30. it’ll be a good one, so be there, or i’ll turn you into a newt.
today is my brother’s birthday. he’s 20 years old, and that is rather strange-sounding.
i’m still plodding along, trying to make the best out of the mistakes i’ve made. i feel like i’m pretending to be normal, when i’m not normal at all. my life seems to be like broken glass, and all i can do is step gingerly about and hope i don’t cut myself. i want to mean something, but i’ve ruined so many chances to break away from mediocrity.
i want to learn how to love someone other than myself.
the musical baton thing:
amount of music on my computer: 5236 songs, 17.1 days, 30.19 gb
currently listening to: wake dead man, wake - as cities burn
five songs that mean a lot to me: [note: this is not a definitive list of my favorite songs]
lead of love - caedmon’s call: the first caedmon’s song i ever heard and subsequently learned, it introduced me to a new style and got me really interested in playing guitar and being in a band. it’s also reassuring of God’s love and control in my life.
with or without you - u2: simply beautiful song…so emotional and intense about love. i cry almost every time.
hallelujah - jeff buckley: the song that introduced me to jeff buckley, an amazing singer/songwriter who died tragically at age 31. his voice could be haunting and beautiful, as evidenced in this cover of leonard cohen’s classic song.
so what - miles davis: in my opinion, it doesn’t get any better than this, regardless of what style you’re talking about.
grey street - dave matthews band: it’s all about depression and i relate to it totally.
top five albums: [note: this is an ever-evolving list]
counting crows - across a live wire: my first crows album, it blew me out of the water. adam duritz’s vocals confound and delight me and the musicality is first-rate.
caedmon’s call - self-titled: i bought this album after hearing some guys talking about it at a bible study because i wanted to be cool…little did i know it would change my life.
taking back sunday - tell all your friends: fun to listen to and sing along with and one of the best “emo” albums i know of.
harrod and funck - live: if you’ve never heard of these guys, well, i’m not surprised, but they were an incredible acoustic/folk guitar duo and i highly reccommend any of their three albums [dreams of the the color blind; self-titled; live]
sarah mclachlan - mirrorball: her live album is incredible. the backing band is insanely amazing.
last album bought: dave matthews band - stand up
best recent discoveries: kanye west, maria rita and tiromancino
and i pass the musical baton to: whoever has a desire to do it.
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