the dreaming tree

i watched highlander tonight and was struck by the thought that if you were immortal, how long would it be before your brain was so full of memories and knowledge that it would either burst or just quit working?

i’m fascinated by handwriting. i think it is the coolest thing ever. i absolutely love getting letters from people, but especially for the first time so that i can see what their handwriting is like (particularly if it’s from someone i have never met in person). and i don’t really know how to analyze handwriting or anything, but i still like to think about it and sorta analyze it in my own way. i love seeing letters at museums, whether written by a famous historical figure or just from a simple civil war soldier writing to his beloved. i think it’s really interesting how varied and personal handwriting can be, and how most people don’t even give a second thought to theirs. i, on the other hand, think about it immensely.

i’ve got several different styles of writing, and usually i’m using print, rather than cursive. i like to make long flowing loop on a g, but not on a y. i’ve got my own style on lowercase d’s that i don’t even know how to describe exactly, but that i’m very proud of for some reason. i also like my w’s. i usually write in all lowercase cause i like how it looks, but oddly enough, i do crossword puzzles in all uppercase. i used to practice not only my own signature (which i’m also rather proud of), but other people’s, as well. i’d even take my friends’ signatures and try to make them better (at least in my own eyes), or make up names and try to derive the awesomest autograph. one time i offered to help my sister make her signature look cooler and i actually filled up a sheet of paper with ideas. i don’t think she ever took to any of them, but i still had a lot of fun doing it. whenever someone compliments my signature or handwriting, it makes me feel pretty special. and if i’m not chosen when someone asks “who has good handwriting?” i feel like a failure and resolved to prove to everyone that i have the best handwriting (which may or may not be the case). i’m really quite obsessed with the subject.

i also am quite fond of handwritten music scores; i love seeing those as much as handwriting, and i get kinda arrogant about mine looking cool. even when i’m just working on new stuff, rough draft or whatever, in the practice room, i will actually erase a notehead, group of sixteenths, or even a clef if i decide it doesn’t meet my standards. i’ve actually forgotten what i was going to write down before because i decided it was more important to erase what i’d just scribbled and redo it. but i really love the way a handwritten piece of music can look, and so i try to make mine look nice, as well. i’ve thought about framing a few sheets of my stuff, but i would feel kinda weird doing that.

i do obsess about some weird things. i’m almost a perfectionist about how my music looks and my signature and handwriting, but i’m totally not a neat freak or anything like that, i don’t really care about cleaning my car and grades don’t really matter to me much at all. i’m so fascinated with how many different ways of thinking there are in the world, how much variation there is among human minds. it’s boggling, really, and i guess that’s why it’s so amazing when you find someone like-minded in this world.