the dreaming tree

you can call me salieri. i just learned about this prodigy composer on 60 minutes…he’s 14, has attended julliard, has already written 5 symphonies and has a recording contract for his music. they interviewed his teachers, who absolutely fawned over him and proclaimed him to be one on the level with the greatest musical prodigies in history (mozart, mendelssohn, etc.). and i’m annoyed. maybe even pissed. i can’t even really explain it, i just know i want to write stuff that catches the ear (haha) of the world. i guess it’s too late to be proclaimed a prodigy, but i’m still comparing myself to the kid. and i haven’t even done anything. i need to work harder. except i can’t force my mind to work like his does, wherein he writes, or as he says hears, the entire piece in his head before writing it down. i don’t know…i feel stupid to even be writing about this, but it’s apparently something that irks me enough into wanting to do something mind-blowing even more than before. recently i’ve got all these ideas surging through my skull…but it’s almost like i’m scared to explore them, like perhaps i won’t do them justice and i’ll prove myself to be a wannabe. maybe that’s what pisses me off: i don’t do anything with the ability i do have. that needs to change.