the dreaming tree

there’s too much to write about, and not enough time. i don’t have internet at the house anymore, and they took away my computer at work (not because of anything i did, just to give it to someone else), which means i only get online at the library, and while i love the library, i have become increasingly unable to just sit at a computer for vasts amounts of time like i used to. i believe this to be a very good thing and a significant advancement, but it doesn’t lend itself to writing good blog entries (i keep believing that there is someone who will read this and find merit in what i’ve written), although i’m not too sure i’ve written a decent blog post in quite sometime, if ever. anyway, the things i want to write about these days are far too complex and unsorted to really try to share and communicate with anyone through this medium. but i’m really enjoying life these days, which is something i haven’t been able to honestly say in some time. there are still moments of blech, but overall, yes, pretty fantastical.

the lady at the bank told me i had pretty handwriting. i was very pleased with that. i think of all the things i’m vain about, handwriting is pretty near the top. i also immensely enjoy seeing other people’s handwriting. there isn’t much more to say about that, but there is that fact.

yesterday i inadvertently called my sister on national siblings day. i really had no idea, but she did and had planned on calling me herself. i found that to be awesome. i couldn’t call my brother because he is somewhere in europe. anyway, it was great to talk to her and tell her the myriad of things that have been happening in my life since last we spoke, which was probably a month or so ago. reminds me yet again how ridiculous this summer has been. and by ridiculous i mean mind-blowingly magnificent. yes.

sunday i spent approximately 19 hours at a studio in fort smith, ar. it was a complete blast, and not just the recording part, but who i was hanging out with. tiring as hell, but completely worth it. and these two guys i was recording with have written some pretty cool songs, especially considering they’re only 18. man, i love making music. my soul is satisfied…thank God.

i’ve seen some people wearing shirts or sporting bumper stickers that say 01.20.09, which is president bush’s last day in office. this is somewhat disturbing to me. it’s like people have lost total respect for the office of president. i mean, sure, he’s done some fishy things, and things i’m not exactly sure about…but he’s the president. at least show some respect. and maybe instead of proclaiming his last day, it would make more sense to proclaim election day. like, we don’t like where this country is going, so we’re actually going to do something, rather than, we hate this president…who cares who comes next, just thank goodness he’ll be gone. what do the two of you think?

just a couple of things before i run off to the weekend:

1) i took what will probably be the last exam i ever take today. my final class is done. all that remains is my composition recital, which will take place in october, but i’m not going to be enrolled in the fall. so this is it. i’m trying to decide what to do with myself. first step: spend tonight celebrating. and probably saturday. and possibly sunday. and all next week. into august perhaps? we’ll see.

2) something that amazes me is close calls…that sounds dumb, but i’m not sure what else to call it like, when i see someone on campus who i might’ve missed had i been delayed or left just a few seconds earlier. then i try to guess just how big of a window it was. yesterday i saw three frisbee players while walking across campus to run an errand for my work/study job. the first i probably would have seen if i had left anywhere within a minute of when i did; the second i would have missed if there was about a 2 or 3 second difference because he was driving by; the third, probably about 20-30 seconds. it’s kind of a goofy game, but it makes me consider how many different, perhaps seemingly unrelated events, have to happen in a certain way and time to lead to other, more important conclusions…which may, in turn, yield something else. good thing God is keeping track of all that, huh?

3) girl(s). uh…nevermind.

4) i’m playing in a frisbee tournament on saturday. our team name is metrosexual healing, so i have to go to the thrift store to get some clothes to wear for that. i guess some interesting polos or something. and then the party that night is a eurotrash theme. i don’t know what that means, so i’m going to have to consult someone. should be fun and interesting, though.

5) sunday i’m going to go into the studio and record some violin tracks for a friend’s brother’s album. i believe that will be a very fun time and i’m really excited about it. perhaps there will be some pictures.

6) another one of my friend’s got engaged the other day. this one i had no idea about, but it made me pretty excited for him. and i get to play violin in their wedding. i will have gone to 5 weddings by the end of this year. i wonder if that number will go up.

7) i love harrison ford.

last night we had a party at my house. and it was a great one, i believe. we played a lot of soul and blues music for dancing, prepared duck and deer meat and a vegetable stir-fry, and had some great conversations. we also jammed out on our own instruments: my roommate on guitar and me on fiddle. and that is where the most insane moment of the entire evening came. there was a steady rise of intensity as we approached the zenith of our performance/sing-a-long. that song would be “isis,” by bob dylan. if you haven’t heard it, listen to the version from the 1975 rolling thunder revue cd. it’s one of the most exciting songs i’ve heard, and anytime we play it, we often end up in a kind of fervent and passionate state of expression. this night, however, was supreme among all the others. i don’t feel like i can do it justice with words. i wish i had a video of the whole affair to post, but at the same time, maybe it’s better that this extraordinary event lives only in my memory. i can’t decide. anyway, as we were playing, a slight rain began to fall, and the excitement seemed to be on a elastic curve spiraling up and up…ever upwards. everyone was moving, everyone was singing, everyone was entranced by the soul of the music. and then it really heated up. peter and sam were suddenly singing at the top of their lungs, more likely screaming the majority of the words. my bow sawed away on the fiddle strings…and suddenly in a terrific bang, it all exploded. peter leapt up from his chair and hurled his guitar over the back porch, then grabbed ahold of the chair and tossed it over the side. sam threw his chair, and then a recliner went over the edge. and then they celebrated and reveled in their primal nature. meanwhile, the rest of us just kind of…stared. i certainly did not join in the launching of instruments. so that was it. peter told me that in that moment, the worth of his $500 guitar seemed perfectly legit to spend on the climax of the most intense “isis” rendition ever. amazingly, the guitar did not suffer any damage to the body. only strings were broken. (we’re talking about a 15-foot drop onto some rocky ground.) it was utterly fantastic.

following that explosion of whatever-it-was, we went back to dancing in the basement, then slowly wound it down and had some conversation. of course, everyone eventually left, but the raw energy of the night paraded itself throughout my dreams and into the morning. even now i’m wistfully recounting all the different happenings of our party. i honestly kind of wish it was still going, or at least would be on again at some certain time. but i don’t know when that might be. peter and mitch are going to illinois to do the corn detasseling (which it looks like i won’t be able to do), katherine and amy moved out, and the ones that are left at the house aren’t really party-starters. or at least i’m not. i just want to go. such a strangely newfound desire, too. especially as it has reached its fruition during my last month of college classes.

this week is my last to spend in a college classroom, if not forever, definitely for a longtime. it’s kind of a strange feeling, but also one that doesn’t appear to have much fanfare in my thoughts. maybe i’ll write about that soon.