then i realized that i’m what’s wrong with christianity. and the world. i loathe my self-rightousness, my unbelief and my callousness, my contempt and unlove for others. there are things i disagree with about mr. osteen’s ministry and his book, things that i think are detrimental to the growth of the kingdom, but i don’t know that it’s my place to vigorously criticize him. maybe instead i should be worried about how i am furthering God’s kingdom, and how he has called me to impact my world.

that said, perhaps i will write a bit about what i find troubling in modern american christianity. and remember that i am as guilty as any other of distorting God’s truth, abandoning him to “save” myself in certain situations and seeking vain things.

christianity is not about feeling better about yourself. i just went to mr. osteen’s church’s website, and the heading there is “discover the champion in you.” exactly who is it they’re claiming to worship over there? which gospel do they proclaim? because there is no champion in you. there is no gospel in you…me. the point of christianity is that Jesus is the champion and only redeemer for sinners. and we’re all sinners. and yes, it’s offensive to us (to me), but it’s the truth. there is nothing we can do to save ourselves, and no inner strength from which to draw. preaching about anything less than the supremacy of God and his glory in all things…is a lie.

from the website, a summary of his book your best life now devotional: “In his new book, Joel Osteen prepares us to embrace the life God intended us to have. His 90 days of motivational thoughts, inspirational messages, and Scripture verses will strengthen our beliefs–both in God, in others, and in ourselves–and only then will we be able to rise above our obstacles and live in health, abundance, and victory.” um…no. the life God intended us to have is found in Christ alone, and that may not mean we will “live in health, abundance, and victory.” in fact, christians are promised suffering: “yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution” 2 timothy 3:12. Christ suffered and he was perfectly in the will of the Father, in all things…was he missing out on something more that God promised? no. and neither are we when we are in Christ. from derek webb: “the floodwaters of blessings have already been given to you and they were given to you the day that you received Christ, the day that you obtained his righteousness as your own was the day that you received all the blessings, all the rewards, all the inheritance. There is nothing more, please never let anyone tell you that there is…”

i guess i just get a little upset when churches proclaim this doctrine of prosperity. when i hear that 11.000 people went last night to hear him preach in my hometown, i get nervous about what he taught them. because we are always looking for something more, aren’t we? we want to hear that God is going to rain down all these “blessings” on us; that we will prosper according to the world’s definition…at least i do. our society is obsessed with seeking riches, and despite the biblical teaching that that is not proof of salvation, so many christians, i’m afraid, equate it as such. and so many use christianity as an excuse to hearken after rewards because they have been faithful and deserve it, when, in fact, the opposite is true. this does not mean that being rich is a sin, but desiring that above all else, and believing that being a christian entitles you to worldly wealth, is.

i wrote more than i intended, but i couldn’t help myself, because it stirs me so.

blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

more derek webb:

What looks like failure is success
And what looks like poverty is riches
When what is true looks more like a knife
It looks like you’re killing me
But you’re saving my live

chorus:
But I give myself to what looks like love
And I sell myself for what feels like love
And I pay to get what is not love
And all just because I see things upside down

What looks like weakness can do anything
And what looks like foolishness is understanding
When what is powerful has not come to fight
It looks like you’re going to war
But you lay down your life

What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
And I say I don’t know you
But you say it’s finished

–”what is not love”

i hate fake performances, maybe even moreso when the “artist” has a gleam of talent. i don’t understand the need these people feel to try and create some special aura about themselves. man, just play your songs. i went to a show friday night where this occured. the opener vs. the headliner. guess what? in my opinion, the opener kicked the headliner’s ass. and here’s why: the opener played what his heart was feeling; he didn’t throw some image at us, he let the music speak. and then along comes the high and mighty headlining act, and from the minute he stepped on stage i sensed the act. i’m not saying he doesn’t like, maybe even love, what he’s doing, but what i felt from watching him was that he was showing off to an audience. he wasn’t trying to reach us; wasn’t trying to connect on that higher plane of music where idle words outside the song cannot express near enough emotion. several times during the opener i felt chills running through my body, not because of an amazing performance (though it was very good), but because the words leaped into my soul and refused to be denied their chance to speak. i didn’t even come close to feeling that during the headliner. in fact, i was so put-off by the performance that i left after four songs. is this harsh? maybe. but i guarantee if i had felt an ounce of sincere, beautiful music, i would have stayed. but then, maybe i’m not in it for the same reasons as some. some do it because they can, and some do it because they have to. because there is something deep within them that demands to be released. that is the essence of music.

i told a gentleman at my parents’ small group that i was in a rock band, and then went on to mention that we are playing a concert at a church this week. so he asked me if we played christian rock, and i said, “no…i mean, we’re all christians…” but this confused him. he pointed out that we were playing at a church and that we wouldn’t play “hey jude” there, would we? all i could do was give him a look like, oh really? maybe we would, if we were so inclined. i didn’t say anything further to him because i wasn’t comfortable causing a stir at my parents’ small group, but i really wanted to. and ever since then i’ve been wishing i had. because it really pisses me off that there is this so-called thing of “christian rock.” we play rock ‘n’ roll. look, as a christian, by definition every thing i do will be “christian.” that is, from a christian worldview. it doesn’t mean that everything i produce has to be categorized in a special christian section and labeled as such. how ’bout let the words speak for themselves like they do for everyone else? not every song is going to have jesus referenced specifically in it, just like everything a christian artist paints doesn’t have a cross in it (or at least, i hope not). there are certainly times and places for those kinds of songs, but sometimes we write songs about girls or loneliness or being angry…this does not mean we aren’t christians, or that what we’re producing is not honoring to God. if i write a symphony, i’m not going to make sure to note that it is a “christian symphony” so that christians will know it’s ok to listen to and will be able to properly enjoy it. how silly does that sound, anyway? it’s so disappointing to me when christians refuse to listen to music that isn’t labeled by someone as christian…open your little mind. i could go on about this, but i won’t. i’ll just say that there is a great need for christians who actually make good music (and write good books…that area is even worse sometimes). there are a few, but overall “christian rock” is pitiful. probably because they’re worrying more about making sure it’s “christian” and accessible to christians, rather than making the best art they can.