the dreaming tree

last night i saw girl talk in little rock. it was incredible. within 20 minutes i was completely aloof from my own mind, which was absolutely terrific. there was just music and dancing. i was freed of all my usual constraints of self-awareness and quite explicitly thought that i felt like a different person. i got to go up on the stage with about 40 or 50 other people (maybe more, who knows?) and that’s where i danced for the entire two or so hours, with people all around, awash in movement and beats. hands-waving, fists-pumping, feet-stomping, legs-marching, hair-twirling… i haven’t sweated that much since playing ultimate frisbee last summer in 104 degrees, which was awesome. (yes, awesome) i kind of wish i had gone out into the main crowd a little so i could experience the show from that angle, but i’m pretty sure it would be basically the same: exhilarating.

you see, i was minding my own business, sitting in my car, browsing through my ipod and preparing to leave the parking lot of a bar

when a girl walked to my window and asked if i had a phone, and could she call someone to get her, because her friend (this guy), was acting weird and she didn’t want to be with him, etc.

so i said, ok, here’s my phone.

and she talked to someone; meanwhile, he became agitated

and came up and yelled a little, then went off

then he parked his truck behind me

she asked, hey, can i sit with you while i wait for someone to get me?

i said, yes

so she was sitting there and i was trying to get her to tell me what kind of music she liked so we could listen to something fun on the ipod

but she was like, no, no, just listen to whatever you want, i don’t care

i persisted and she said carrie underwood

whatever

then the guy came back and opened the door and started yelling at her, and then was like, hey man, what are you doing?

what are you doing?

and then he shoved a gun into my face (a silver .38 automatic)

and shouted, hey, what are you doing?

blah blah blah (anger anger anger) (gun-waving) (gun pointed at head)

and then i was holding my ipod and he said, give me that phone, and i hesitated and almost said, but this isn’t a phone, but he grabbed it from me, so i couldn’t

then he saw my phone sitting there and grabbed that

he asked if i had anything else, and i said, here’s my wallet

and that’s all i have

(but that was a lie because i had a bass and my violin, too)

anyway, it took him a minute to be convinced that that was all i had, then he took my driver’s license, saying, if you try anything, i know where you live

i thought that was amusing

then he demanded the girl get out and come with him, so she did, and silently begged me to call someone, but i had to say, i can’t, he took my phone

away he sped

so i went into the bar and called 911 (except i accidentally dialed the 1 three times)

i’ve been thinking recently that i never use this thing anymore. but that doesn’t mean i’ve stopped thinking about stuff. in fact, that’s the problem. i never feel like i’m fully informed or have completed forming my thoughts enough to put them out for people to read. and usually once i actually do hit publish, i want to go back immediately and revise. a lot of times i think and think about a subject until i find a party willing, or sometimes unwilling, to go through a discussion with me, and then it all comes pouring out. but i’ve been doing that in real life, more than i have in print. but i like to write, and i kind of miss doing that.

recently the big topic of discussion in my head has been politics. i’ve been reading lots of blogs and websites, and i have ideas about stuff, but i like to share those in a setting where i know i’ll get feedback, which (hopefully) further refines my ideas and opinions. (i do have an online forum for that process…it’s called the rumor forum.) but now i’ve been thinking that i’d like to post a little more to this blog. even if i have to go back and revise my ideas later. so i guess the point of this post was nothing at all, other than, perhaps i will post more in the future. haha, that’s lame.

i’m going to try to summarize the conversation i had with just the essentials.

background: i work in a call center for familylife ministries, which has a radio show. so i receive calls from listeners. our program today had parents talking about dealing with the loss a child and how to cope with that…

guy: [with a middle eastern accent] hello, i’m new to this country. is your number an 800 toll-free line?

me: [thinking: didn't you just dial the 800?] yes, it is.

guy: ok, well, i heard your program about people dying, and i want to learn about my grandfather. he was in new york, but i can’t find any documentation about him. he was an upstanding man.

me: … well…ok…

guy: so i’m trying to find out about that.

me: well, good luck with that, sir. but i don’t think i can help you with that.

guy: what about galahad?

[he really did switch to that abrubtly]

me: what? galahad? i’m not sure what you’re talking about.

guy: yeah, sir galahad from the round table. wasn’t he supposed to be like jesus?

me: …

guy: can you explain that to me?

me: yeah, well, he’s a christ figure in some ways, i guess…maybe…

guy: what about arthur? what’s his story?

me: well…um…he’s a legend…

guy: is he real?

me: well, he’s more of a myth at this point in history, but there may have been someone similar to him at some point, historians can’t be sure because there’s so much legend surrounding the story…[and i go on about what i know about the arthurian legend for a few minutes; he periodically interjects more questions]…so, does that make sense?

guy: yes, that makes sense. do i have to give you my name?

me: um, no…

guy: [proceeds to give me his name, which i can't remember] thank you, goodbye.

for those that might still read this and don’t already know, i had my senior composition recital last friday. it wasn’t spectacular, but it happened, and i’m glad it’s over with. although, at the same time, i really wish i had a little more time to make it significantly better. particularly one piece, which i conducted. it was for a small ensemble, and we were only able to rehearse one time…the day of the concert. so that was a little shaky, although it seemed to be ok, because people said they liked it. but they could have loved it. in any case, it was a good experience, only know i’m starved for more like it. but unless i go to graduate school, i likely won’t have too many chances to have my work performed. except for the choir piece, which the choral director told me i could probably get published with just a few adjustments (mainly to make it easier to sing, and thus more effective). so that’s a little exciting, though i don’t really know how to go about that. but anyway, there’s a short, superficial update.

we are the music-makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams,
wandering by lone sea-breakers,
and sitting by desolate streams;
world-losers, and world-forsakers,
on whom the pale moon gleams:
yet we are the movers and shakers
of the world for ever, it seems.

-arthur o’shaughnessy

last night a girl tried convince i could pull off white jeans, because i look swedish. i nixed that idea.

i work in a call center for familylife, a ministry that focuses, obviously, on the family and marriage, etc. most of what i do is register people for conferences or place orders, and there are some questions. then there are the crazy people…

this morning i had an 83-year old australian woman call and talk to me for 30 minutes about how the communists are trying to take over america and we have to save america from the moral decline by teaching our young people right and wrong, which means we have to take sex education out of the schools, because that is basically pornography. then the abortion clinics do an abortion when they get pregnant, and make billions of dollars, which they use to fund the democratic party. and also, the democrats are communists, and so is the UN. the chinese have a special highway running from mexico to canada that they’re using to plant people inside the US so that they can conquer it from the inside out, and then take over the world. by the way, they want to take us back to a society based on feudalism. hilary clinton is a political manipulator and a criminal, and if the democrats win the next election, christians could be experimented on for medical research. unfortunately, since young people are taught in schools to vote the “other way,” the democrats might be in power soon.

so i’ve been forewarned now, and i have to go out and tell all the young people. you should, too.

so last friday father maple (my band) played at wild river country (a water park) for a citywide youth group-type event of some sort. of course i was super excited about playing in the water and on the slides for free. and so there i was, feeling pretty confident because, well, i was one of the attending rockstars, which always feels great. i was waiting in line for one of the slides and there was a high school kid next to me. a little ways down the line was a group of high school girls who, upon seeing this guy, all waved and did that high school girl thing. now i’m pretty sure this guy was not one of the recognized awesome cool guys at school. he was a little overweight, pretty reserved…all that kind of thing, but still a cool guy. our conversation was as follows:

david: dude, that’s awesome, girls never waved to me like that in high school.

chris (the kid): yeah, well, it’s nothing special…they always do that when they see me.

david: but still, they’re waving at you and being glad to see you…would you rather them not?

chris: i don’t know…

david: maybe it’d be more special if they gave you a hug or a kiss or something…

chris: yeah, especially the one in the black…

david: (high five) alright, man, you need to start talking to her!

chris: yeah, i asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime, and she said sure, but i didn’t say when…

david: (interrupting) DUDE! you have to tell her when!

chris: well, the next time i did…i said, do you want to do something on tuesday. she couldn’t, but she told me to ask her again the next day, but when i did, she said she was sick, so i haven’t asked her since then…

(at this point he is kind of dejected)

david: ok, dude, listen…she told you to ask her again, not to get away from her. you have to keep after her. ask her again…she wants to know that you care enough. you have to pay attention to all her little hints…she’s not going to come right out and tell you she likes you, that’s not how they roll. you’re going to regret it if you don’t get a definitive answer from her…you just have to be confident.

chris: yeah, that makes sense.

david: in fact, my band is about to play…go ask her to dance, she’ll love that.

chris: maybe…

david: ok dude, good luck…wwhhhheeeeee!! (because at that point it was my turn to slide down the slide)

anyway…i thought it was hilarious that i offered any kind of girl advice/encouragement to him, because i was totally the shy reserved guy until about two months ago. and that’s that story.

there’s too much to write about, and not enough time. i don’t have internet at the house anymore, and they took away my computer at work (not because of anything i did, just to give it to someone else), which means i only get online at the library, and while i love the library, i have become increasingly unable to just sit at a computer for vasts amounts of time like i used to. i believe this to be a very good thing and a significant advancement, but it doesn’t lend itself to writing good blog entries (i keep believing that there is someone who will read this and find merit in what i’ve written), although i’m not too sure i’ve written a decent blog post in quite sometime, if ever. anyway, the things i want to write about these days are far too complex and unsorted to really try to share and communicate with anyone through this medium. but i’m really enjoying life these days, which is something i haven’t been able to honestly say in some time. there are still moments of blech, but overall, yes, pretty fantastical.

the lady at the bank told me i had pretty handwriting. i was very pleased with that. i think of all the things i’m vain about, handwriting is pretty near the top. i also immensely enjoy seeing other people’s handwriting. there isn’t much more to say about that, but there is that fact.

yesterday i inadvertently called my sister on national siblings day. i really had no idea, but she did and had planned on calling me herself. i found that to be awesome. i couldn’t call my brother because he is somewhere in europe. anyway, it was great to talk to her and tell her the myriad of things that have been happening in my life since last we spoke, which was probably a month or so ago. reminds me yet again how ridiculous this summer has been. and by ridiculous i mean mind-blowingly magnificent. yes.

sunday i spent approximately 19 hours at a studio in fort smith, ar. it was a complete blast, and not just the recording part, but who i was hanging out with. tiring as hell, but completely worth it. and these two guys i was recording with have written some pretty cool songs, especially considering they’re only 18. man, i love making music. my soul is satisfied…thank God.

i’ve seen some people wearing shirts or sporting bumper stickers that say 01.20.09, which is president bush’s last day in office. this is somewhat disturbing to me. it’s like people have lost total respect for the office of president. i mean, sure, he’s done some fishy things, and things i’m not exactly sure about…but he’s the president. at least show some respect. and maybe instead of proclaiming his last day, it would make more sense to proclaim election day. like, we don’t like where this country is going, so we’re actually going to do something, rather than, we hate this president…who cares who comes next, just thank goodness he’ll be gone. what do the two of you think?