i really dig this. the dancing, the singing, the storytelling (of some mysteriously happy event or feeling i can only imagine)…also the music is pretty cool.
holden
i used to read voraciously (sometimes i think one can only know that word if one did). i still can, but more often i don’t (that doesn’t make any sense). anyway, this past weekend i read catcher in the rye, that famous banned book by j.d. salinger (and according to the previous owner of my copy, should still be banned…i hope you aren’t still stupid, melissa h., wherever you are). i was going to sit here and try to write something clever about the book, but i think all that stuff has probably been said (and much better than i could say whatever it is that could be said). i would just like to report that it is a tremendous book and everyone should read it, even if you are offended by its language and subject matter (because none of us should be living a life in which we are never offended…or provoked, irritated, challenged…forced to think outside of yourself; if you are, you might be a phony).
what i want
i’m caught in-between and i don’t know what’s going on in my life. the band i’ve loved for 6 years is dissolving before my eyes, and i don’t even know if i care (but i do, i just don’t want to have to). some people say i should move to nashville and hire myself out to whoever. but that’s not what i really want to do…that seems like i’m just a music whore. i want to be in a band with people that love to make music and are passionate about working hard to be the best band possible. that’s all i want. but i don’t know where or how to find it. it takes forever for me to get comfortable with new people, and it would be almost all new people if i moved. but at the same time, i’m sure there’s a bevy of musicians and that i could fit in. i’m simply sick of wasting the talent that i have (that’s not intended to be braggadocios, but i think i’ve been told enough times how good i am that maybe i should start to embrace it a little…and then get better). i want to be on stage, making people dance, sing and just love life.
i wrote a sestina. if you don’t know, the form is based off of the repetition of the initial six end words in the first stanza. the end is a three line envoi which includes the six words, two in each line. as an aside, i chose my six words from the lyrics on the back of my simon & garfunkel bookends vinyl. that sounds so hipster it’s ridiculous.
#1
in the end maybe flowers—
are you content with a laugh?
i supposed we could get quiet,
add a measure of grace
in the midst of madness…stop the zoo
with a simple song.
i could recommend a song
or bring blue flowers—
i still can’t quench the zoo
but i will absolutely laugh.
meanwhile i’m listening to grace:
she’s trying to play quiet
i think we all need to be quiet
(sometimes a still song
is hard to find), but grace
is out past the flowers
always ready to laugh,
always ready to go to the zoo.
i had my season in the zoo:
no cage was quiet
and you know those monkeys laughed.
every silly bird had a song
in gardens filled by flowers
perfect state of grace.
i question the glory of grace
when she’s like a zoo
and all i want is a flower,
some peace and quiet…
not a raucous song
or even a barrel of laughs
cause it takes a lot of laughs
and a trainful of grace
still it seems like every song
is the same ol’ zoo
and too much or not enough quiet
stops growing flowers
simple laughs in a mad, mad zoo
bring a song determined though quiet
and grace grows like a flower
in the end
all of that love and war
amounts to what you want
and you’ll never get past it
if you can’t get over it
by the way
all of those promises
we broke still hang around
oh yeah, i think about them
maybe i’ll get over it
abigail
our story is over
but it still plays in my head
beginning to end
and back again
if you like
all mistakes are the same
but we made some big ones
along the way, like quitting
just when things got interesting
