Humiliation #2
Just when I thought my little tour de misery was over, I took another desperate leap at another classified. “What are the chances that it could happen twice?”
This company made pens. Well, actually they didn’t make the pens…they just customized pens with your company logo and name…or anyone’s logo and name. They’d do your uncle Harry…you know, the one nobody talks about? Yeah, him too… if he’s got the cash.
How hard is that? Not very.
In theory.
I remember filling out some information at a computer in a back room…in a warehouse. Already this doesn’t bode well. They then take me into a cubicle that is 2 inches wide by 12 feet long.
“This would be your cubicle” They lady who was in charge of my humiliation seemed extrodinarily perky about it.
My task was to take a logo, recreate it in a graphic program, then place it on the pen template. Okay…except, once again…I choke. At this point you might think that I really don’t know what I’m doing. Eh, maybe. So what do I do? I do what any self-respecting graphic artist would do in a similar situation. I cheat. I call the guy I met in the back room (who said call him if I had any questions) to come and tell me what I’m doing wrong. As it turns out, he trys to do the same thing I was doing…and says “Hm. I don’t know why that’s not working.”
He then leaves.
Well, that sucks. I don’t remember how long I sat there. A while. I then got up to leave. Only THERE WAS NO ONE LEFT IN THE OFFICE.
Apparently it’s some sort of cruel joke on Brian. Set him up with an impossible task, then everyone dart into the boss’ office to watch him squirm on a closed circuit TV. That’s probably what happened. I’m sure of it.
So I go back to the lobby, only this time I have little miss perky paged.
“Oh, I was wondering where you went to.” She said.
“Yeah, I’m not going to be able to do this.” I said.
“Oh, okay…well thanks for coming out here.” She replied. She. Was. Still. Inhumanely. Perky. No pity whatsoever in her empty soul.
I go back to my hole in the warehouse. I sit. I seem to remember possibly slamming my head on my desk. I’m not sure if I did that, but that’s the way it goes with head trauma.
I then began the healing process by promptly surfing the internet.
Keep the stories coming . . . I hope you find these memories as funny as I do…(At least they are memories)…I rarely have anything witty to say, so, I’ll leave with that…bye now.
Steven
April 5th, 2004
I’d go with the conspiracy theory.
Roger
April 6th, 2004