The advent of the 8th grade saw the release of that strange hormone that forces awkwardness upon teenage boys. Socially, I shut down, crawled up into my shell, and waited for middle school to be over. The only solace I found was in my 8th grade crush, a cute long-haired girl who shared my homeroom, P.E., and English classes. The same girl with whom I would go on to participate in the square-dance…and to whom I would never say one. single. choerent. word.
Her name was Tracy, and the first half of my school year was spent pining for her…while at the same time, trying to repel the advances of Christine.
Why Christine ever developed a crush on me I’ll never understand. I went mostly unnoticed by everyone else (except by the bigger kids at the far end of the lunch table who would try, successfully, to bully me out of one of the two Hi-C grape drinks that I would bring for lunch) but for some reason she became totally enamoured with me.
Too bad I found her repulsive in both personality and appearance.
It grated my nerves to no end. It was truly distressing, for whatever reason, that she liked me. She would talk about me within earshot…write notes to friends and place what she had written so that I would be sure to see it…and worst of all…she rode my bus.
Even then, my compulsion to compartmentalize my life was taking shape. School was war…home was safety. The two must not mix. Christine could never know where I live. The bus may have passed by my house…but I wouldn’t be on it when it did. I would be watching from the woods…waiting in an effort to maintain the separation of school and home until it had passed.
I’m happy to report that my plan succeeded and her affections moved on to land on an oaf of a football player instead of me. I can only assume that even in the 8th grade she had a certain taste in guys. Since I was in no way a football player, that only leaves one potentially common characteristic.
Better him than me.
That’s about what I expected.
Geof F. Morris
October 20th, 2004
How could you get the bus to drop you off away from your home? I could NEVER get the busdriver to agree to that.
Kari
October 20th, 2004
I got on the bus at my friends house for years..and got off there for years…the bus driver didn’t know I lived where I did, and I didn’t volunteer that information. The bus, as luck would have it, only started passing by my house that year.
brian
October 20th, 2004
Oh, that’s right . . . you posted somewhere about walking to his house and getting warm there. And about his dad. Or something like that.
My vague recollection should count for something. Give me a gold star.
Kari
October 20th, 2004
wow. you remembered.
impressive.
brian
October 20th, 2004
gold star! gold star!
Kari
October 20th, 2004
all I’ve got is this purple heart.
brian
October 20th, 2004
Did you catch that purple heart when Kerry threw it away? He might want it back…
Eric
October 20th, 2004
no i earned it. I took a nasty paper cut to my left leg.
brian
October 20th, 2004
Our bus would pretty much pick you up and drop you off anywhere you wanted. Those were the good old days in Maine.
Roger
October 21st, 2004
well, in maine all you have to worry about is bears. the bus drivers just wanna get in and outta there before they get mauled.
brian
October 21st, 2004
Nah. Bears aren’t allowed on the bus.
Funny (?) story, my high school geometry treacher (who everyone disliked and had bad breath and whose nickname was Chewbacca) got mauled by a bear while hiking.
Roger
October 22nd, 2004
having girls like you when you don’t like them is a problem i’m kinda having right now. its just the price of being beautiful i guess.
i’m also glad middle school brian and home brian never mixed. but hiding in the woods?
scott
October 22nd, 2004
I liked hiding in the woods…these cartoon birds came an landed on my shoulder…and an old black man would come along singing while these other cartoon creatures would dance and whistle….
wait…i’m thinking of something else
Roger: was..uh..your teacher okay?
brian
October 23rd, 2004
I think so…it happened after I graduated.
Roger
October 25th, 2004