A Question

Posted on October 1st, 2004 by hanfaith.
Categories: Deep Thoughts.

This past Tuesday we talked with our youth group about being a child of God. When asked what it feels like to be known as such, we got a lot of blank looks. Our resident Christians finally spoke up and said, “I don’t know what it feels like, because I’ve never know what it doesn’t feel like.” Interesting theory. I guess I could say that I don’t truly know what it feels like to be a woman, because I’ve never been a man. Or that I don’t know what it feels like to see the world in beautiful color, because I’ve never been blind.

Instead, I postulate that we can truly know what something feels like, even if we’ve never known the opposite. Maybe instead, we could say that we don’t truly appreciate the extent of our feelings, because we’ve never been down in the valley to see how high the mountain top really is. Or at least, so we think. So to a lifelong Christian, is being a child of God like looking out from a hill instead of a majestic crag? If it is, I think it’s time to stop and think why. Are we blase with our faith because we’ve never known different? How sad.

I’ve known people who didn’t want to give their testimonies because they didn’t have an “exciting” conversion story. They didn’t have the moving drug addict story, or the cool partier turned Jesus freak episode.

I think most people need a paradigm shift. They think the only thing that can read as a valley experience is that external easily seen sin. I think it’s dangerous when Christians think they don’t have an exciting testimony. That’s like saying, I was pretty much ok before I became a Christian, and now I’m a little bit better. Talk about boasting in yourself. When I look at the Bible however, I see how much internal sin we all hide from the world. I see how sin had a slave driver’s whip to every single one of us - from the druggy to the school valedictorian. I see how when we take a look at ourself through the eyes of God and the help of the Bible and the revelation of the Holy Spirit, we see pride, greed, anger, lust, and all sorts of nastiness. And the truly miraculous thing is that God pulled us out of that. He gave us an answer. He gave us hope. He gave us a way. He gave us the way. And we should truly rejoice in that. Rejoice in what God has done. Rejoice in His awesome ways.

So to come back to the original question, I think we can know what it feels like to be a child of God, because the Bible clearly shows us what we would be like without God. It also shows us the condition of our hearts. If we are truly honest with ourselves, then we will come to grips with the bottomless pit of our sin and the endless ladder that pulls us up out of the muck.

EDIT: after writing this, I think I can see more clearly how “in everything” we can bring God glory. Thinking through these things has brought my heart to a worshipful place - more so than many other more conventional ways this week of expressing our hearts to God. Viva la blogging!

6 comments.

Geof F. Morris

Comment on October 1st, 2004.

Yeah, writing these things out is good. “Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.” –Sir Francis Bacon.

Of course, you’re not a man. ;)

As for the lack of an exciting conversion … yeah, I know what you mean. I felt that way when I was far less mature and less willing to look upon the depth of my own sin. Blessed be the God who, through, substitutionary atonement, doesn’t look upon that sin!

Hannah

Comment on October 1st, 2004.

Amen!

Roger

Comment on October 1st, 2004.

I had thought this for a while: “I was pretty much ok before I became a Christian, and now I’m a little bit better” because I had never done those “drug”,etc. things that cause an “exciting” conversion, however it didn’t take me long to see that not only was I 1) beginning down the “ugly sin” crevasse that I had been walking around and looking at for so long (which is the less important point), but I was covered in just as filthy rags as the “worst” sinner who ever existed just because I was away from God.

I thank God often for reminding me that no matter how good I thought I was, I was still just as dirty and just as in need of Him as the overt sinners and that without Him I would have been just as lost.

“Awake my soul tonight to boast nothing else”

the Sagely Dad

Comment on October 1st, 2004.

Hannah, that was one of the most beautiful posts you’ve written so far. I know you well enough to know what you are capable of as a writer…keep it up!

Amy (Matt's wife)

Comment on October 4th, 2004.

Dear Hannah,
I have been enjoying your blog for a while. I don’t remember how I found it but I have been blessed by it and wanted to let you know. My husband and I have been very active in the church I basically grew up in. I was one of those kids who would have had trouble with my testimony. And a have watched the younger kids behind me grow up into a similar situation. The teaching that I grew up in encouraged me to see God as someone who was always “watching” and that for me to please Him I had to do things “right”. I am the typical first born, men pleaser, goody two shoes type of person who couldn’t stand the thought of being “wrong”. So when I learned the “rules” I did everything I could to follow them and believed that I was “good”. When it came time to give a testimony I always got nervous, felt weird and like there was something wrong with me, I would even question whether my “salvation experience” was real or not. I attended our church school in high school and then our Bible college. I met my husband in college. We have been married 7 years and now have 4 young children. Matt and I both were in “leadership” positions at the church, Matt served on the worship team and I worked with the children’s program. We became very “busy” serving where ever we could whenever we could. To make a long story short I was still troubled by my “lack” of testimony and somehow the “good news” was not very good to me anymore. It became a list of dos and don’ts and if you didn’t measure up you were less than the perfect Christian. I found myself on an emotional roller coaster where I would swoop from one extreme to the other. I would find myself either condemned because I knew I wasn’t measuring up or I would judge others in my arrogance thinking that I was somehow better than they were because I followed the rules. During the last couple of years our church went through some big shake ups. In the process I realized how I had put men on pedestles and that I was really trying to please them instead of God. It was so much easier to go to a “leader” to have them seek God for me than to actually go to my Father myself. I began to realize that I was afraid of God. I was afraid of Him and didn’t believe that He really loved me. The concept of unconditional love was something that I had heard about but had not had very good example of. The messages we heard from the pulpit were mostly negative and talked about what we should or should not do. The good news of what God did was something we rarely heard. My husband and I found that in the midst of a church where the focus was on “what we could do for Jesus” we had lost site of our first love and what He had done for us! I am still learning to come to my Father and trust by faith that He really does love me and wants me, even though I am a mess. I am finding that it is much easier to love others unconditionally when I see how much He really does love me and them. Before I would measure them, judge them by the “rules” that I had learned to see “where they were at”. I was taught to look for those “bad, wrong” things so that I could help “minister” to them. Now all I want to do is love them and tell them how much He loves them. He is the one who transforms us anyway, why do we think that we are the ones doing the work? It has been a bumpy road the last couple of years but I believe I have a better “testimony” now of the saving grace of my loving Father. I am resting in His love now and learning to share His love with others instead of trying to make them change by telling them how to follow the rules.
I am sorry this is so long. Your post brought so many thoughts to me. From one who is learning to rejoice in what God has done rather in what what men have done or not done, be blessed!

Hannah

Comment on October 7th, 2004.

Thanks for your comments, Amy. I’m glad that God is doing such a great work in your hearts.

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