True Confessions of Hannah Faith

Tossed and Turned

Posted on January 29th, 2006 by hanfaith.
Categories: Deep Thoughts, Family, General.

Uncertainty seems to be a family passion.

I can’t remember the last time my family knew what they’d be doing or where’d they be in five years. Or would have accurately predicted where this life and our Lord has lead them.

Phil’s family seems to ascribe to the same wanderlust. Best laid plans are always morphing into something new and different.

So that should give me some comfort that our own little family has much uncertainty about the future, right? Wrong! Many times, I wish we had all our ducks in a row… but alas, that does not seem to be the path laid out for us. Instead, we get to partake in the blessing of depending on God’s direction from one turn of the path to the next.

Specifically, we’re trying to figure out what our next steps are as a family. Phil, while enjoying his work as a carpenter, does not necessarily see himself doing that for the rest of his life. The work is physically demanding, exhausting, and uncertain. The pay does not compensate for the risk he puts his life and our family’s financial stability in when he mounts staging covered in ice to work on a roof. We’ve been grateful for his job - it has been flexible and provided good experience, but… how long, O Lord!

So about half a year ago we decided to check out Phil going back to school to study for his electrian’s liscense. While wiring houses would still be physical labor, it’s far less strenuous than his current job and something he’s always been interested in.

Fast forward to this week. We’ve been discussing the next steps. Phil has a year and a half left in his program before he can sit the exam for his journeyman’s liscense and then 4000 hours of work before he actually holds the liscense. Add to that another 4000 hours before he can apply for his master’s liscense. Conservative estimates put him becoming a master electrician around age 35.

Is this a commitment we want to make? Should we stay in Greenville to work under the master electrician here? Should we move somewhere else, but stay in Maine to stay within his training program? What about our children? Do we want them to grow up here? What about church - is this where we want to be in ten years? Where would we live? Do we want to stay in the family home that is falling down around us and has horrendous taxes? Do we want to build? Would we ever be in a finacial situation to build or buy?

So many questions - so few answers. Yet, that seems to be the story of both of our lives. Looking back, however, it’s plain to see God’s hand at work. Looking forward, it’s often difficult to trust that God will direct our feet.

We’ve also tossed around the idea of Phil finishing up his degree (after he finishes the program he’s in now) in electrical engineering. It sounded like a good idea and something that he would be very interested in. However, it would necessitate a move to Bangor and unfortunately, not many of Phil’s electrician’s classes would transfer into the program (like we originally thought). This door seems to be closing now… yet another dream tossed on the wayside.

However, while we were talking about this idea, we also talked about me getting some training to work in a library. Specifically, I’m interested in the certificate program in library studies offered at the University of Maine, all through online courses. With this training and my History degree, I could get a job working at a library if needed. We orignally discussed this as an option to support the family income while Phil was getting his electrical engineering degree. However, it would also be a skill that I could fall back on anytime. It seems to be a wise move… and not financially undo-able. I’m applying this week, and hopefully I’d start next Fall. The program is only 15 credits, so it won’t take me long at all to finish it.

So much to think about… so few clear answers! We’re in prayer, and hopefully God will direct us in his timing.

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