True Confessions of Hannah Faith

Tossed and Turned

Posted on January 29th, 2006 by hanfaith.
Categories: Deep Thoughts, Family, General.

Uncertainty seems to be a family passion.

I can’t remember the last time my family knew what they’d be doing or where’d they be in five years. Or would have accurately predicted where this life and our Lord has lead them.

Phil’s family seems to ascribe to the same wanderlust. Best laid plans are always morphing into something new and different.

So that should give me some comfort that our own little family has much uncertainty about the future, right? Wrong! Many times, I wish we had all our ducks in a row… but alas, that does not seem to be the path laid out for us. Instead, we get to partake in the blessing of depending on God’s direction from one turn of the path to the next.

Specifically, we’re trying to figure out what our next steps are as a family. Phil, while enjoying his work as a carpenter, does not necessarily see himself doing that for the rest of his life. The work is physically demanding, exhausting, and uncertain. The pay does not compensate for the risk he puts his life and our family’s financial stability in when he mounts staging covered in ice to work on a roof. We’ve been grateful for his job - it has been flexible and provided good experience, but… how long, O Lord!

So about half a year ago we decided to check out Phil going back to school to study for his electrian’s liscense. While wiring houses would still be physical labor, it’s far less strenuous than his current job and something he’s always been interested in.

Fast forward to this week. We’ve been discussing the next steps. Phil has a year and a half left in his program before he can sit the exam for his journeyman’s liscense and then 4000 hours of work before he actually holds the liscense. Add to that another 4000 hours before he can apply for his master’s liscense. Conservative estimates put him becoming a master electrician around age 35.

Is this a commitment we want to make? Should we stay in Greenville to work under the master electrician here? Should we move somewhere else, but stay in Maine to stay within his training program? What about our children? Do we want them to grow up here? What about church - is this where we want to be in ten years? Where would we live? Do we want to stay in the family home that is falling down around us and has horrendous taxes? Do we want to build? Would we ever be in a finacial situation to build or buy?

So many questions - so few answers. Yet, that seems to be the story of both of our lives. Looking back, however, it’s plain to see God’s hand at work. Looking forward, it’s often difficult to trust that God will direct our feet.

We’ve also tossed around the idea of Phil finishing up his degree (after he finishes the program he’s in now) in electrical engineering. It sounded like a good idea and something that he would be very interested in. However, it would necessitate a move to Bangor and unfortunately, not many of Phil’s electrician’s classes would transfer into the program (like we originally thought). This door seems to be closing now… yet another dream tossed on the wayside.

However, while we were talking about this idea, we also talked about me getting some training to work in a library. Specifically, I’m interested in the certificate program in library studies offered at the University of Maine, all through online courses. With this training and my History degree, I could get a job working at a library if needed. We orignally discussed this as an option to support the family income while Phil was getting his electrical engineering degree. However, it would also be a skill that I could fall back on anytime. It seems to be a wise move… and not financially undo-able. I’m applying this week, and hopefully I’d start next Fall. The program is only 15 credits, so it won’t take me long at all to finish it.

So much to think about… so few clear answers! We’re in prayer, and hopefully God will direct us in his timing.

7 comments.

If Books Could Speak

Posted on February 22nd, 2005 by hanfaith.
Categories: Deep Thoughts, General.

I used to joke with my parents about their bookshelf. If books could speak, there would be an all-out war in the Traphagen living room. I, myself, wouldn’t consider it wise to place Walvoord next to certain reformed authors.

My parents bookshelf tells the story of their Christian journey… one through many different schools of thought.

So today, I was thinking about my bookshelf. What story does it tell about our family?

Well firstly, there are the books that my husband has kept from his Word of Life college days. We got rid of most of those, honestly, but he did keep a few. I wouldn’t have felt it necessary to keep any of Charles Ryrie’s books, but Phil sat under his teaching and thought he was a funny old guy.

Then there are our pre-marriage books. This was when we were introduced to Piper. Two copies of “Desiring God” grace our shelf.

And then we entered into the theological book collection days. So now we have quite a few:
Pipers:
- When I don’t desire God
- The Passion of Jesus Christ
- Counted Righteous in Christ
- The Dangerous Duty of Delight
- A Godward Life (I & II)
- Don’t Waste Your Life
- Let the Nations Be Glad
Mike Yaconelli:
- Dangerous Wonder
- Messy Spirituality
- Core Realities of Youth Ministry
John Stott:
- The Contemporary Christian
Gary Thomas:
- Sacred Marriage
- Sacred Parenting
Poythress:
- Understand Dispensationalism
Dillard & Longman:
- Introduction to the Old Testament
Paul Tripp:
- Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands
- Age of Opportunity
William Edgar:
- Truth in All Its Glory
Cowan & Gundry:
- Five Views on Apologetics
Gundry:
- Five Views on Sanctification
Cornelius VanTil:
- Christian Apologetics
Jacob Neusner:
- A Rabbi Talks with Jesus
Geerhardus Vos:
- Biblical Theology: Old and New Testaments
James C. VanderKam:
- The Dead Sea Scrolls Today
Cornelius Plantinga Jr.:
- Engaging God’s World
Gundry, Carson, McCormack, Seifrid, Lane, Molnar Wainwright:
- Justification: What’s at Stake in the Current Debates
Sinclair B. Ferguson:
- The Christian Life: A Doctrinal Introduction
Tom Holland:
- Contours of Pauline Theology

Many of these books are hand-me-downs from my parent’s classes at Westminster. We couldn’t be more grateful! (and big props to the Westminster Bookstore who carries most of these books)

What books do you think we are missing from our collection?

9 comments.

Jamie Soles - The Way My Story Goes

Posted on February 16th, 2005 by hanfaith.
Categories: Deep Thoughts, General.

I’m not much of a children’s music connoisseur. Even though I have a two year old and a six month old, we don’t usually listen to much designated little ears music. But last month, I ran across an ablum online that I thought I’d give a try. Éva has her own little devotions in the morning when she drinks her milk, reads her Bible, and listens to a tape. I was trying to find something for her to listen to that was Bible story oriented. So, in my searches online, I found The Way My Story Goes by Jamie Soles.

I had my reservations about purchasing it. I ordered it from Canada, so I wasn’t really sure if it would get here, but I decided to take a risk. I’m so glad that I did. It was well worth it.

“TWMSG” traces the redemptive story through the Old Testament to the time of Jesus. Now I may not be a collector of children’s music, but most that I have heard focus all pretty much on “God is Love” and “God loves me”. All very well and true… but there is so much more to it than that. And here’s where this tape fits in. “TWMSG” is not afraid to explore the gritty history of Israel and connect it to Jesus in an interesting and beautiful way. It is not afraid to speak to children of the deaths of the wicked and the salvation of the righteous.

How many children’s songs do you know about this story:

Six hundred Philistines met their demise
Dented by an ox goad guided from on high
Shamgar swung it, we have sung it
He delivered Israel.

Read the lyrics to “Dreams” - a song of Esther. I love how the ending connects Esther’s story to our story.

Have you heard? there’ll be a beauty contest
All you girls, you must be seen
For the king is right now looking for the perfect girl
To be his queen
He has sent his men to find you
Esther leave your past behind you
Come and see
Have you not dreamed of being royalty
This king could offer you your dreams!

Think of this!
Imagine living in a place like this
Here with the king
All that’s fine
And every morning with the king you’ll dine
You’ll want to sing
He’s the King of kings in glory
You could be his wedding story
Ponder well
And spare no effort to prepare yourself
This King could offer you your dreams!

Ah ah ah AHASUERUS!! Ahasuerus??
Ohhhh! Ahasuerus might be great
But Jesus reigns and will forever
Come and see!
One word could turn you into royalty
This King could offer you your dreams!

Not only does this tape wonderfully trace the history of Israel, but it also does so from a reformed persepective. How many children’s tapes do you know of that do that?

Here’s another of my favorites. This one tells of the groanings of Israel in captivity.

Give ear, oh Shepherd of Israel
You who lead us like a flock
You dwell on Your throne in power
Show Your strength, come and save us

CHORUS

Restore us oh God
Cause Your face to shine
And we will be saved

We’ve had many a savior
Priest and prophet, judges and kings
They all have ended in failure
Only shadows of the real thing

CHORUS

For the vine that you have planted
Has been torn down to the ground
And we perish at the frown upon Your face

There is a Man You will honor
Let Your hand rest upon His head
He will keep us from turning
He will hold us to You instead

CHORUS 2X

And finally, here’s a joyful song recounting the joy of our salvation:

There was once a time
When we had no love for Christ
We were aliens and strangers
Hopeless and in danger
We could not do right
‘Cause we had no right within us
But things have changed
Whatever happened to us?

Jesus to the rescue
We are not the same
Now we live to glorify His Name

Many still behave in their unbelieving ways
Turning birthrights into bean stew
Though they never means to…
They have got to know
That they have no place to run to
But things can change…
Who’s gonna tell it to them?

Jesus to the rescue
They won’t be the same
They could live to glorify His Name
Jesus to the rescue
We are not the same
Now we live to glorify His Name
Jesus to the rescue
We are not the same
Now we live to glorify…
Now we live to glorify His…
Now we live to glorify His Name!

I would highly recommend this album to all parents (and hey, you might just enjoy it yourself even if you don’t have kids) if you are looking for something with a little more substance than your usual toddler musical affairs. I also wish this was more readily available in the states. It seems to me the kind of thing that bookstores like the Westminster Bookstore should carry.

Jamies Soles and his family

8 comments.

Love

Posted on October 29th, 2004 by hanfaith.
Categories: Deep Thoughts, General.

OK, I have finally come out of my funk - somewhat. Thanks to all of you who have emailed, commented, and called with words of encouragment. As many of you knew, I’m sure, real solace only came when I slowed down, picked up my Bible, and cried out to my Lord.

I’ve been reading through the New Testament - and I’m nearing the end now. I just finished 3rd John today. By the way, we had a guest speaker from Africa a couple of months ago, and I loved how he said the books of the Bible with numbers in front of them - he would say “Two Corinthinans” and “Three John”. But back to my reading, I was really convicted by my need to love. Yes, doctrine is important, Yes, methodology is important. Yes, right teaching is important. Yes, right shepherding is important. But nothing excuses me from loving. Nothing gives me the right to say, “Yep, you crossed the line there, buddy. No more love for you.”

Love is a tricky thing sometimes. We make so many conditions on it. “Well, yeah, you should love but…” and then comes the list of excuses. I’m not talking about a cheesy, fake love. Neither am I speaking of a love that ignores wrongdoing. I’m speaking of a love that sees and takes in all and still says, “I love you as a brother/sister of Christ. I don’t agree with all that you believe in. I don’t think that you are right in this instance, and I will not agree with you simply to smooth things over, but I think we can agree to disagree.” There is a way to handle confrontation and disagreements with love. And nobody can fault you for having love. They can fault you for having unrighteous anger, a spirit of dispute, and a general nastiness, but not true love. (ok, that was a mistake to type that - now I’ve got “TRUUUUUE LOOOVE” (princess bride) running in my head)

My point: I need to learn to handle tough situations with fellow Christians with love. Why does it sometimes seem easier to love non-Christians, than to love our fellow believers? The church isn’t perfect. God uses other people to grow us up in the way He wants us to be - and all that rubbing together of different people can sure create some sore spots. It’s how we respond to those sore spots, I think, that shows what is truly in our hearts. Will we see the bruises and give up on our faith thinking it’s not worth it? May it never be. May the bumps and bruises, skinned knees and blistered hands bring us closer and deeper into our relationship with Jesus.

3 comments.

Rearranging

Posted on October 10th, 2004 by hanfaith.
Categories: Deep Thoughts, General.

Yesterday, I pursuaded my husband to help me rearrange the living room. Originally, I wanted to paint the walls, but with the price of oil rising daily, we decided that spending that much money on paint wasn’t a wise decision for this fall. But something in me itched for a change. So we moved the couches, piano, and shelves to new places. And behold: a new room. What is it about rearranging that makes you feel like you have a whole new space? Perhaps it’s because all the dust bunnies get cleaned up. Perhaps it’s because that which was familiar shines in a new light when shuffled around.

Apply this to the spriritual realm. Sometimes, it’s wise to rearrange our thoughts on who God is and who we are in God. Moving around the “furniture” can uncover new beauties. A couch that looked mundane against a wall looks “wow” when daringly pushed to a rakish angle. Do we dare to sort through our beliefs to uncover new gems in things that we take for granted? Do we ever consider the vast wonder of the statement “God is love” when we simply leave it on the back burner of our spiritual stove?

Rearranging also uncovers misplaced things shoved into couch cushions and stowed in dark corners under bookshelves. Do these things really belong? Rarely. Are they necessary parts of the couch and bookshelf? No, they are impurities. Do we have things in our beliefs that don’t really belong there? Have we let junk collect into our thoughts until they simply become so common place that we don’t even remember that they didn’t belong there in the first place. Maybe we need to shuffle our beliefs and examine each proposition in the light for that which is good and true.

It’s a risk to move things around. What if it doesn’t look quite right? What if you create such a mess moving everything around that you just give up and leave all the piles in the middle of the floor in a completely discombobulated pattern? I think it’s a necessary risk. Let us never become complacent in our beliefs. Let us never forget the wonder of the God who sent his Son. Let us ever be turning up rugs, searching behind dusty books, and pushing the furniture around the floorplan. I don’t ever want to be so familiar with my faith that I forget the awesomeness contained within.

3 comments.

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