Cable
Cable is clearly from the devil.
Who else but but the prince of darkness would create 100 stations to satisfy all your carnel craving 24 hours a day 365 days a year.
Love Soap Operas? There’s Soap Zone
Food? There’s the food network.
History? the History Channel
Music? MTV VH1 CMT
anything you want at the tip of your fingers. Its dangerous.
Luckily I dont have cable or I would never venture outside.
I am not kidding.
I would sit in my house and order take out. I would become friends with the remote and panic if I ever lost my signal. I would wear sweats and eat bon bons and not even care about my nails (and we all know how I care about my nails.)
It wouldnt be pretty people. How do I know? Because my parents have cable, and when I am there I need it like my next fix.
In three days I watched four hours of the Real World marathon.
I watched a whole weeks worth of General Hospital episodes. Thats five hours.
I watched one day in the life of a soap star.
I watch them redecorate eight rooms for 1,000.
I watched a two hour documentry about 9-11.
I watched the MTV awards, and part of the post show.
I watched making of the new partridge family.
And i cant even tell you how many hours I watched of Country Videos or CNN and FOX’s coverage of the hurricane.
I didnt go to bed until 5 am because I couldnt convince myself to turn off the tv. Every time I wanted to a new BETTER show came on. It was dangerous.
How much time is wasted in front of the tv?
Even now sitting at my desk I am not thinking about work… Oh No…. I am thinking about how I dont have cable and I will never get to see who the new roommate was on the real world, or the reunion of New Kids On The Block…. I am jonesing man, jonesing I tell you…
Ok deep breaths.
I can NOT have cable. Its clearly from Satan…
