teaching
I had the most amazing night last night.
I gave my first teaching at City Life. The topic was “Getting Real” and to be honest for the past week I felt out of my league and overwhelmed.
What did I have to say that a bunch of teenagers from the inner city would hold on to or learn from?
After much prayer, and help from friends about what the bible says about being real, I felt as ready as I would ever be…
I began by giving my testimony. I wanted to show them that I wasn’t asking anything from them that I wasn’t willing to do myself.
I was real, I was raw, I talked about the details, and how hard my past was, and how sinful I was and how sinful I still am. I talked about the process, and that even now, eight years after becoming a Christian I STILL have struggles and I still have doubts.
And I looked out into the faces of the kids and I saw understanding, and compassion, and surprise. They got it. They were “picking up what I was throwing down”.
They understood where I was coming from, they had been down that same road, and they knew that they weren’t so alone in their struggles. They cried with me. They laughed with me. They cheered for me. For a second I wasn’t the leader, I was one of them.
I opened it up for questions and I answered them as honestly as I could. Then I told them that I knew most of them weren’t ready to be this real. They weren’t ready to stand up in front of a room full of people and talk about their hurts or their sin or their struggles.
But they did need to get real with themselves and real with God.
And I told them about David, and how he was a man after Gods own heart. He still sinned and he still had struggles, but in it all he was real. In some psalms he wrote about how great God was and how blessed he felt, but other times he said it sucked. He told God that the wicked were getting everything, and he was sick and hurt and lonely.
The place to start with getting real with others was getting real with yourself and real with God. And I told them just like cried out and was real in the psalms they needed to cry out and be real with God too.
I passed out a piece of paper with two verses and three questions on it.
Who do people think you are.
Who do you think you really are.
Why do you hide who you are from God and other people.
We gave them about five minutes to write down their answers, and then I told them their challenge this week was to find at least one other person to share their paper with.
I prayed and we finished City Life. And I sat by myself for a moment thinking of all the things I should have said and didn’t, and the scriptures I wanted to use but didn’t.
I felt, for just a moment, like I wasted an opportunity.
Then a couple of people came up and gave me their papers and walked away.
When I read the first one I started to cry.
The first girl wrote about how she had been raped when she was nine by a family member and everyone thinks she is so brave and strong but she is really afraid all the time and lonely.
Another girl wrote about how she was raped and she uses sex to try to feel love ands to make that hurt go away. And people think she is a slut but she actually hates sex and just wants to be loved.
Another girl wrote about trying to kill herself and how she is still really hurt but afraid to show it.
A boy wrote about how everyone thinks he is funny and goofy, but he is afraid to be real because they wont like the “real him”
Another person wrote about using drugs to stop the pain, and everyone thinks they are this big druggie, but really they are just hurt and angry.
They were REAL.
They got it.
I was able to track down some of them. I got their phone numbers and gave them mine and promised I would talk to each of them more in depth later. I talked to each of them for a few minutes and they all said the same thing. They all thought that they could share what they wrote with me, and I wouldn’t judge them or feel sorry for them , but I would understand.
I know it was such a tiny step, but I felt so so so blessed that they tore down their walls, even for a minute, and they trusted me with what was inside.
And that was not a wasted opportunity.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
