Life As an Afterschool Special

I spent the past four days safely tucked away at a catholic church of all places.

The first night I was there I went into the church and all the lights were out and all the candles were lit.

My footsteps echoed, and the stained glass danced in the light.

Everything was so big and so beautiful… I sat down at a pew and started to cry.

I grew up catholic… and I sat at that pew and remembered what it felt like as a little girl walking into mass.

Everything always seemed so big, and so breathtaking. I thought God was so big and so powerful. I always felt so small and safe and protected. I thought God could do anything. I had such awe.

I believed before I even knew what faith was.

But somewhere along the line we grow up. We start getting bigger and God starts seeming smaller. We begin to trust less and take control more.

And yet here I was, sitting alone in a pew crying. What I NEEDED was for God to be big. I needed to feel small and safe and protected. I needed to know that He loved me, and that He saw all my pain and my fears.

I wanted to be that little girl again. Before everything became so hard and complicated.

For the whole first night at the church I didnt talk a soul. I just sat and cried. And it was so so so good just to be still.

I am sure I will write more about all this later

But this weekend I felt safe and small and protected. And I let go of a little control, and in the process gained a lot of peace.

I was in a drive by yesterday.

Ok that isnt entirely true.

But it sounds much more exciting when I say it that way.

Erica, Amy, and I were laying in the sun on the front porch and a big fancy car with tinted windows and spinners pulls up on the side of the house.

And suddenly two strange men with guns get out of the car and start shooting at us.

Ok maybe they werent strange men. It was Ericas friend Rick and his friend. But there are a LITTLE strange.

And maybe it wasnt a real gun. In fact, it may have been a water gun. It was a super soaker.

But we did get totally wet and it did come out of nowhere.

Did I mention I was in a drive by yesterday?!

My Life as an Afterschool Special

Ok, so I am doing horrible at keeping my blog updated.

And I want to do better, really I do. I just get distracted.

Take yesterday for instance. I wanted to write. I really did.

But there just wasnt time.

In the morning I got up early and I went to the YMCA and I worked out and then I taught swim lessons.

Clearly is it hard to write when I am in water so I didnt update my blog then.

When I was done teaching I talked to my sister and she said she was going to a picnic with her friend Rick and Ricks friends and she invited me along.

Now Rick, he is/was a drug dealer (we arent quite sure what he does now). And I am not talking about selling a bit of pot on the side. Oh no, he is/was the dealers dealer. In fact, the kids we do ministry with in the bottoms know all ABOUT him, but they dont know HIM. He is big time.

But he and Erica go way back. They knew eachother in highschool. And Rick was recently shot like 8 times and his friend died, and he wants to change his ways. So he has come to church with us, and we are trying to show him Jesus is the only way to turn your life around. In order to show him God loves him right where he is out we try to do the same. So we hang out at bars and on his mom porch and we have picnics. (well Erica does. I just come along every now and then for moral support).

Rick is a lot of fun. And he really is very sweet. He always pays for all our drinks and food, he is always polite, and he is always respectful. Although he did tell my sister he bet I was a freak. But that is a whole different story.

We go to this picnic at westgate park and its like the who’s who of thugs on the westside. And they pull up in these AWESOME rides with spinners and systems and hydrolics and such truck. And I pull up in my red VW fox. But foxy is HOT so I fit right in. There is like 12 guys and me and Erica.

I had a suprisingly good time. We grill out and go fishing and it was like a regular day at the park. Except I am sure they were all packing heat. But other then that it was good times.

So I couldnt write then because, well, busting out a computer during a picnic with drug dealers would just be too nerdy even for me.

And then I met my step mom at curves and we worked out. for the second time that day.

Did I mention I am going to be freaking HOT.

Because I am.

But once again, that is another topic for another day.

After I worked out I rode with my friend Steve to pick some girls up for City Life.

Then I went to City and hung out with the kids from the bottoms and did a skit with my roommate Amy about selfishness.

And then we invited the volunteers from city life to come back to our house and hang out on the porch and talk.

(I wish Erica had a blog, then she could tell you all about how she had to break up a fight between two kids in her back seat on the way home from City Life, and ended up leaving one of them on the side of the road)

When we all got back to my house we decided we needed some wine so Erica and I went to the Corner Store and got some Strawberry wine.

On our way home we got a call from “M”. “M” s (ex) boyfriend is totally abusive and kinda scary, and he just got out of jail yesterday morning and was on house arrest. He cut off his ankle moniter and fled town and “M” called us crying to come get her. So we did a U Turn and went and got her and talked with her and took her home.

And then we took our strawberry wine and went back to our house and sat on the porch and had a drink with our friends and played with our dog.

And that is just one day of my life. A pretty average day in fact.

A million times a day I think “Man I should write about this” and then I never have any time.

“NO TIME THERE IS NEVER ANY TIME”

(that was a saved by the bell moment)

But that is what I get… living my life as an afterschool special.

My Life as an Afterschool Special

My house smells like death. like ass. like liquid ass.

our pipes were clogged, the plumber came to unplug it, but in the process the sewer backed up into the basement leaving about three inches of liquid smelly sledge sewer poo. and he left it like that.

the land lord said it just needs to dry out.

whatever. I actually vomited last night it was soooo icky.

I called my landlord this morning and I was like “we cant live like this. I dont know what kind of plumber you hired, but we just went from not being able to flush the toliet to a house that smells like death died. you need to fix it now”

so we shall see. I will get ghetto on him real fast though.

UGH.

(and I am so lazy in updating my blog I did just copy and paste this from the Rumor Forum)