Life As an Afterschool Special

I’m trying to work things out
I’m trying to comprehend
Am I the chance result
Of some great accident
I hear a rhythm call me
The echo of a grand design
I spend each night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars in the sky

I have another meeting today
With my new counselor
My mom will cry and say
I don’t know what to do with her
She’s so unresponsive
I just cannot break through
She spends all night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars and the moon

They have a chart and a graph
Of my despondency
They want to chart a path
For self-recovery
And want to know what I’m thinking
What motivates my mood
To spend all night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars and the moon

Maybe this was made for me
For lying on my back in the middle of a field
Maybe that’s a selfish thought
Or maybe there’s a loving God

Maybe I was made this way
To think and to reason and to question and to pray
And I have never prayed a lot
But maybe there’s a loving God

Maybe this was made for me
For lying on my back in the middle of a field
Maybe that’s a selfish thought
Or maybe there’s a loving God

Maybe I was mad this way
To think and to reason and to question and to pray
And I have never prayed a lot
But maybe there’s a loving God

And that may be a foolish thought
Or maybe there is a God
And I have never prayed a lot
But maybe there’s a loving God

~Sara Groves Maybe There’s A Loving God

Last night that song was running over and over in my head…

I went out with four girlfriends to celebrate my friend Rebeccas birthday.

I got dressed in my new sundress

and threw on some flipflops and put my hair in a ponytail put on my oversized sunglasses and headed out the door with no flair and no purse. There is something about wearing a sundress and flip flops that makes you feel beautiful and feminine and lovely without any effort. I love being a girl.

We met at French Meadow and sat outside on the patio where we traded secrets and laughter and smiles over a bottle of good red wine and some salad and cheesecake.

We were planning on going to Mels Beauty Bar after dinner, but it was so beautiful out and we were having such a good time talking that we decided to have a small bonfire instead.

Rebecca and Miranda went and got Rebeccas guitar and then started the fire and Amanda and I went to my house and picked up my snowcone maker and then went to the liquor store and bought mixings for “big girl slushies”

We all met back at the house and I went inside and made everyone drinks and then came outside and joined the group around the fire.

We talked about love, and loss, and God… and we sang as Miranda played the guitar. It was an amazing mix of serious and silly. (We sang some worship songs, and we also made up songs to God like “Oh where is my husband, oh where is my husband, oh where, where, oh where, oh where oh where, is my husband.” Hee.)

We all talked about why we loved Rebecca and how she has blessed our lives with her compassion, her heart for God, her playfulness, and her friendship.

We went through a pitcher and a half of big girl slushie.

After the fire had died down the four of us kicked off our sandles and laid on an old quilt on our backs and looked up at the stars and the trees and the moving clouds and we prayed together.

It was one of thoes moments where you really feel connected to eachother, and stronger because of each other. It was one of thoes moments where you felt friendship and sisterhood and love so deep and so true and so real it almost took your breath away.

It was one of thoes moments where the spirit of God is so strong and so real you feel like you can reach out and touch it and wrap it around you and never ever let it go.

It was one of thoes moments where everything around you feels so big, and God seems so big and so real, and you seem so small.

And you cant help but think He made the universe and everything in it.

He knows the number of stars in the sky and yet He knows your name.

He had a plan for you even before you were born. He knows everything about you, and he loves you.

And that amazes me.

I came home last night so thankful for good times, and for good friendships, but above all thankful for such a good God.