Scary movies will do that to ya…
I hate scary movies. HATE THEM. I am not like my roommate Amy who says she hates scary movies and the proceeds to tell you about SAW and SAW II and the Grudge and the Ring and every other horror movie she has seen. I actually hate them and dont watch them. I think life can be scary enough, and I have lived through some pretty terrifying things. So I have absolutely no desire to recreate thoes emotions via a movie.
I do however, have pretty vivid memories of a scary movie my mom made me watch when I was little. My mom rented Hitchcock’s “The birds” for my sisters and I one night. I HATED it. And ever since I have hated birds. No really. I kinda hate them. I think they are creepy. I also think they are horrible pets. I mean they are supposed to fly. That’s the whole point of a bird. So why take a creature whos purpose is to fly and then put them in a tiny cage and watch the sit there. Its creepy. But I digress.
As the weather changes more and more birds cluster in the trees that line my streets and along the buildings of downtown. They just sit there watching you with their beedy eyes and their pointy beaks waiting to kill you. Trust me, I know. I’ve seen the movie. They want to kill you.
The other day I walking downtown and a bird came swooping down from a building RIGHT AT MY HEAD. Apparently it had seen the movie too. It wanted to kill me. I literally screamed, ducked down and covered my head and the bird flew right past me into the windows of Kinkos and died.
Thats right. It died! And then I laughed and took a picture. An old woman gave me a horrified look and then crossed the street. Clearly she had missed the memo. The birds are EVIL. They want to kill us. Just ask Hitchcock.
Thinking back I can admit that perhaps it was a little morbid to laugh and even more so to take a picture, but I felt a sense of victory. In fact, I think I will hang the photo from the trees in front of my house as a warning to the other birds… mess with the best, die like the rest. Bwahahahahahahahahaha.
I hate birds.
(I read this to Amy before I posted it. She said I am one strange scary little girl. And that is the stuff scary movies are made of.)
