Life As an Afterschool Special

Sometimes life just happens faster than you can keep up with, and all you can manage to do is tread water and hope to keep your head afloat. You get so busy doing… working and living and fixing and planning… that you forget being. Being still. Being small. Being thankful. Being real. Being loved.

And thoes are the moments when you need something or someone to reach into your busy life and remind you to slow down, to laugh, to breathe deeply and just be.

It has been such a long time since I have been truly inspired to write, but someone completely unexpected just reminded me to laugh, to smile, and to capture a moment.

I worked all day today and then ran four blocks in heels to catch my bus home. As the bus pulled up my feet ached and my mind was racing with sales and numbers and goals for work and everything I needed to get done tonight and tommorow and the day after that. I feel like I never have any time. My personal life is a mess and professional life is moving faster than I can keep up with.

The man sitting to my left on the bus was in a wheelchair. He was an older man, in his 50’s or 60’s and had on overalls and a John Deer hat. He only had one leg and his overalls were pinned up. I studied him for a moment thinking he looked like a character out of a book, sitting tall and humming to himself. He looked over at me and smiled, and I gave a half hearted smile and turned back to the window. I was tired. I didn’t feel like being friendly.

His voice, old and deep and suprisingly warm, jarred me from my self pity.

“I bet I can make you laugh” he said.

“”Excuse me” I said turning to him.

“I bet I can make you laugh” His blue eyes twinkled and deep lines etched around his eyes as he smiled.

I was taken off guard. I thought in that moment that he had the most beautiful warm eyes I had ever seen. I smiled despite myself.

“I bet you laugh you easily” he remarked. I sighed and answered “Usually”

He began telling me a story about how he has been fighting bone cancer for over 20 years, and a year ago doctors had to cut off his leg and his groin. His eyes continued to twinkle as he told the story.

“That isnt funny at all! That is terrible” I exclaimed.

“I haven’t got to the funny part. When they removed my leg that also removed half my butt. Now I am officially a half assed man” He let out a hearty laugh at his own joke and slapped his leg in merriment. I laughed with him. I asked him his name and he told me it was Pat.

And then Pat continued. He told me that he used to be very very angry. He was angry at the world, and very angry at God. He wasnt a very nice person or a very friendly one. He said he went to see a pre op plastic surgeon before they took his leg last year, and after the doctor told him the grim news about what would happen and what it would like Pat broke down and cried for the first time in years.

I held my breath as he told me the story, memorized by his eyes and the warmth in his voice as he spoke. He said that doctor put a strong hand on his shoulder and quietly asked him if he could pray with him, and for the first time in years he prayed. Pat said in that moment everything changed. He said he understood for the first time in his life that God had a plan for him that had nothing to do with his plan for himself. And that has given him hope and peace ever since. Even as a half assed man. He gestured to a little toy frog hanging from his wheelchair and said “Someone gave this to me. It says fully rely on God. I look at it and remind myself of that all the time. Because in the end what else is there.”

I smiled and felt connected to him and comforted by his simple story. Even his cheesy use of the frog seemed so genuine and not at all contrived. He spoke with warmth and compassion and joy, not as if he wanted to sell me religion or win me over. He used simple words and a soft tone, and his eyes never lost the twinkle. His honesty was captivating.

Then Pat looked me deep in the eyes and said “People walk around on two legs all the time too busy to even notice God. They feel sorry for themselves because things arent happening the way that they planned. And never take a moment to thank God for the plan HE has”

The bus pulled up to the station and I said goodbye and bent down and gave him a hug. I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time. And I wanted to write. I needed to a minute out of my day and write. I wanted to sit down and tell the story of Pat and how he reminded to be just be.

Be still still.

Be thankful.

Be real.