I am a Christian
Today my co-workers were discussing Bible Colleges and what it means to be a Christian. Almost every one of them had stories about “crazy Christians” who have forced their beliefs, or been hateful or cruel towards them. Even I could relate.
Ten years ago I had to go to Planned Parenthood for tests. As I pulled up in front of the building I saw protesters outside. Taking a deep breath, I worked up the courage to get out of the car and walk to the building. Hateful faces glared at me as I approached the door, and someone from the crowd screamed “Whore” as I walked by. There were so many people yelling about God and about sin, and I was shaking as I entered the building.
I have thought about that experience many many times over the past ten years. I can still see the angry faces and hear their words ringing in my ears. I was a new believer, and their actions angered and hurt me at a time when I was already angered and hurt. What I needed was someone to understand, someone to hold me and tell me that I was still valuable and beautiful and worthy of love. What I needed was someone to explain where God was in all my pain, and how he could love someone as broken and sinful as I was. Instead the protesters reaffirmed the idea that God was angry and vengeful and I could never earn his love.
I think about my own experience outside of Planned Parenthood, and how that contrasts with how Jesus would respond.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”John 8:6-11
As I listened to the stories my co-workers, both believers and non believers told, I was angry. I was angry at the hurt we have caused in the name of Christ. I was angry that the world knows us more for what we are against than what we are for. Most of all, I was angry at myself because I know there have been times that I have been no better.
I am a Christian. Truthfully, it is how I define myself, how I make my decisions, what gives me hope and gives me peace and gives me joy.
But I also know that I get so wrapped up in what being a Christian means to the outside world that I forget that what makes me a Christian is Christ. It is about loving him and allowing Him to love me. Its about learning more about who He is and then becoming more like that, not because I have to, but because I love Him and He asked me too.
That is what I told my co-workers about my faith. That is what I stand for and not what I stand against.
