JAIL time
I had to go down to the courthouse this weekend and pay a ticket I forgot about that had turned into a warrent.
I really wanted to take care of it, because this wasnt my first warrent. I had been through the “system” before, although I still maintain my last warrent wasnt my fault.
Most people dont know that I am a jail bird
Yeah I’ve done hard time.
I been in the big house, up the river, in the clink…
I WALKED the green mile…..
I LIVED Shawshank man….
ok well maybe that is a streach but I did spend the night in jail once.
I had been in the depths of despair and had gone over to a friends for a girls night. Let me help you visualize. I was wearing Pajama bottoms, a tank top, a cardigan and no shoes. I had been crying so my eyes were red and my face was puffy and I had been running my hands through my hair so it was a mess. NOT my finest moment.
I am driving home around eleven and I see the po po behind me. UGH. I was in the wrong lane and had to switch in the middle of an intersection. This isnt going to be good.
so of course the lights go on and I pull over. The police man comes to my window and asks me if I have been drinking. Now this isnt an unusual question giving my driving ability. I once had to get out of the car and do a road test when I hadnt had a sip. Thats why you shouldnt put on lipgloss and drive.
I say “no officer of course I havent been drinking”. He asks me to step out of the car which I do in my bare feet. He then pushes me up against the car and handcuffs me.
you have got to be freakin kidding me…..
I of course panic… I start rattling off questions at warp speed “whats happening…. what did I do…. why am I in trouble…”
He reads me my rights.
I didnt get it. Why am I in this situation? He takes me to his car and shows me that there is a warrent out for my arrest for failure to appear.
I had gotten a ticket for not having my plate on the front of my car and I went to court. I did appear I even brought someone with me. But according to his little computer I was a fugitive.
I actually started to relax. I mean this was all just a mistake. Surely they will fix it.
He radios the Police in the county my ticket is in and they ask him to transport “the suspect”. Oh yeah.
Police Man 1 and I drive to the police academy and I get out of his car, unhandcuffed, rehandcuffed and lead to a new car.
Police Man 2 is some cocky younger guy. He looks at me and says “Have you been behaving for the officer”
“Um I guess”
“what do you mean you guess? have you been a good little girl?” he replies
“Dont talk to me like that” I shoot back before being forced into the back seat of his car.
he is listening to Rage Against the Machine. yeah this is going to be pleasent….
Police Man 2 takes me to jail, fingerprints me , takes my mug shot, and puts me in a cell by myself. He tells me he isnt sure how much my bail is, but the judge only works on thursdays, so I may have to be here a while. Its Monday.
you have got to be kidding me.
let me tell you no time is like jail time. It goes by soooooo slow. Minutes seem like hours.
Finally he comes back and tells me my bail is 255 dollars.
Its 3am. I try to call my house and no one answers. I try to call my friends and they are sleeping. Finally I reach my parents. My step mom answers the phone.
“Mom Im in jail and I need someone to bail me out”
“Tim its for you, your daughters in Jail”
great. I make them so proud.
so my dad agrees to come and get me and I am lead to a holding cell with other women. UGH.
A drunk woman comes up to me and says in a slurrred voice ” You aint got no shoes on”
“Dont talk to me” is my only answer. So much for that prision ministry.
My dad FINALLY got there about 4am and bailed me out
I seriously cant spent time in jail. I will turn into some womans girlfriend real quick. I am CLEARLY not cut out for it.
But yeah I’ve done hard time…
so that is why I had to pay my ticket to clear my warrent and why I am carrying the paper to prove I did on me as we speak.
Momma didnt raise no fool
just another chapter in my life as an afterschool special.
