Melissa is in Germany right now. In fact, she’s been there for a week now. It’s cool though. As much as I’ve missed here, I’ve really enjoyed having a little time to myself this week. However, like so many married men, I’ve realized something about myself during this week. Over the time we’ve been married, we truly have become one person, I guess you could say. Everything I do now in my life, I don’t do just because I want to, but because we want to. It’s not a bad thing at all. In fact it’s a good thing. However, I’ve realized this week that JD and Melissa are fun, however JD by himself is a very boring man.

In fact, I think I’ve always been boring. I’ve always kept a few friends, carefully separating them from each other like colors and whites before a wash, so to not find out what kind of disaster could happen if for once, they mingled together. It could be as big as the Titanic… or almost as big as that time my mom went to visit family in New Mexico and left me and my brother home with our dad – who in fact did mix his whites and colors before the wash and all of us ended up with pink t-shirts.

In fact, my boredom led me on a sojourn of self discovery last night. I decided “enough is enough, Mr. Rollins.”  I grabbed my keys and locked the door then went outside to my wife’s car (not my truck of course, it was time for a change) and made the long treacherous quarter mile drive to Blockbuster Video.

I’ve driven past this video store hundreds of times since living in the small older suburb of Reynoldsburg, OH.  I’ve seen families with kids running to their cars on Friday nights with tonight’s Feature Presentation. I’ve seen dating couples daringly go into this store to find the perfect movie for that cheap date in your parent’s living room of the latest Lindsay Lohan movie topped off with the best dinner affordable of Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers and Frostys. I’ve seen all of this… but tonight, was my night. Tonight some poor sap was going to see me go into the store. They are going to see me pick out a movie. Something that either screams “Hey, that guy can live dangerously” or maybe – just maybe they’ll say “Wow. I bet that guys wife is in a different country.”

I took a deep breath and pulled into the parking lot of Blockbuster. Or well, at least what I thought was the parking lot of Blockbuster. It was, in fact, actually the parking lot I pulled into was excessively crowded due to the laundry mat, check cashing spot and Grandma’s pizza. I get out of my car and realize it would be so much easier just to walk across to the store.

As I stumble across puddles of rain and mud, I finally make it to the door and realize that Blockbuster has changed quite a bit since I was a kid. I walk in and see tons and tons of movies everywhere. Some to buy, some to rent. I see huge lines of dating couples and families with their 2.4 kids waiting in line and getting ready for the weekend.

I shake the rain off of my sandals and walk around the store trying to find a movie.

“Damn.”

Four dollars for a new release? I realize this is not going to be a cheap movie night, as I walk to the “Blockbuster Favorites” section, or as I will now refer to it, “The Movies That No One Really Wants”. I walk through this section, bumping past skeletons and cobwebs and broken beer bottles like it’s a dark alley in the metropolis of movie mega stores, past copies of movies staring Billy Crystal and at least a half dozen “American Pie” movies.

And then I saw it.

Right in front of me, like an old friend from before marriage, like one of those friends I tried to keep separated.  My all time favorite movie.

“The Odd Couple”.

I reach in and grab the copy and hold it closely to my chest like a soldier holding his bride after just landing back from war. “Finally…” I whisper to myself as I bring myself to the front of the store and wait in line.  I finally reach the register, the register that the store manager is ringing up – in fact, this wasn’t just any store manager. He was the district manager. He was an interesting fella. Part Duff Man, Part Spicolli, Part Annoying Youth Pastor who just wont grow up. We all know the guy. The guy who… wouldn’t move on. In fact, I begin to play it out in my head. This guy is the district manager, probably late 30’s. He probably started out in a part time job when he was in college, yet kept it because he liked hitting on all the high school girls. After he flunked out of college was promoted to assistant store manager, and then so on all the way up to being the slumlord.

Then I heard it.

“Mr. Rollins, I see we don’t have a credit card on file for you. I’ll just need your card so I can update it.”

I realized what this meant, as my heart sunk and I realized my long lost friends Oscar and Felix wouldn’t be going home with me tonight.

“My wife, well, she has my credit card in Germany right now and all I have is cash…”

He looked at me, like he was staring into my soul and realizing that it just wasn’t meant to be for me. Like he could see that I was trying to mix my whites and colors. Like I was trying to bring home an old friend. Like, he would trade places with me if he could, but he couldn’t. He knew that, and I knew that.

“Wow, Germany huh? She didn’t take you with her?” he said as he handed my old friend to the pimply faced high school kid to put back on the shelf.

I just smiled and thought to myself.

She did take me with her. Because we’re one person now. It’s not that we’re not individuals. It’s not that she’s not Melissa and I’m not JD. It’s just now, we mix both of our whites together. We mix both of our colors together.

Instead, I came home last night and sat in my recliner, I flipped through the channels, past the news, past the weather, past football games and wrestling. I turned it off and put my head back. I just sighed, and smiled. I realized that soon, in just a few days… I would be reunited with an old friend. My best friend. And she better have brought me some lederhosen.