sooner or later.
I’m not sure that I’ll ever forget the moment. It was one of the two weekends a month I got to see my Dad. We were spending Saturday morning like we usually did — sitting in his living room, in the middle of some mess that would never be passable at home, gorging ourselves on TV and contemplating some Saturday afternoon activity. I couldn’t have possibly been more than ten. The show was one that people of a certain age will remember well. Trendy (in that neon, early ’90’s, way) hosted a game show that pitted groups of kids against each other in various outrageous games for nominal rewards.
One of these games was some sort of giant crossword puzzle. There was, of course, some disgusting twist — the kids had to sift through some disgusting pile of goo in order to retrieve the letters, or something equally as outrageous. The pairing of teams was….unfortunate. One team was white. The was decidedly…not.
I’m sure I noticed. It was quite a contrast, and I’d like to thank that I’ve always been observant, so I must have noticed. However, I’m sure that I didn’t think it was much of a big deal. Though I grew up in Kentucky, I didn’t grow up in one of those towns that had the “one black family.” I’d always had black friends, and while I’m sure I had encountered racism before, it probably didn’t make an impact.
That day was shocking.
The way he said was so straightforward that I’m not sure if I was even initially shocked by it. “The white kids will win. Just watch.”
Although I can’t remember if I was observant, I do know that I was inquisitive.
“Why?”
“The black kids are dumb. They don’t have a chance.”
You can’t quite process that when you’re ten (or nine, or eight, or however old I was). I just remember being filled with this overall sense that he was wrong. Beyond that, I’m not sure. How does a kid react to that? It is, after all, Dad. He knows more than we do and we do it. While deep in my gut I know that he’s wrong. I do. But he’s Dad. Maybe he knows something I don’t.
What I hate is that he was right. I remember it so clearly. The team of white kids destroyed the team of black kids. It wasn’t even a competition. Almost from the start, it was clear who was going to win.
“I told you so.” Smug.