Through a Glass, Darkly

The snow is pouring down once again. I tried to get my coworkers to make snow angels with me before I left, but they all declined. I noticed a different feel to the snow day this time, though. Back in January, when we had the first snow of the season, all my coworkers were antsy and kept checking to see how it was going outside (which made me feel good - I am quite the youngest in my department, so it was nice to see that grownups - because I don’t consider myself one yet - still get antsy and excited about snow). This time, with the snow really coming down and the roads getting dangerous, there was a lot more seriousness and urgency than there had been before. I was glad to make it home safely, and now I just want to curl up on the couch with a mug of tea.

This has been quite an odd week. I have been challenged to laugh at myself, which I am not good at. At all. I am thankful to be with Mike, who helps me see the humor in my mistakes. And I am thankful to have very forgiving friends.

This morning I read, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I put a lot of time and effort into projecting a very pulled-together image. I share things with my friends, but only up to a point. There are places in my heart where I don’t allow anyone. Having that image chipped away is painful. The wall around my heart - well, I’m already used to that.

“I’d rather feel the pain all too familiar than be broken by a lover I don’t understand.” - Jars of Clay