How lovely are thy plastic branches
This time of year, I realize that there are two kinds of people. People who are horrified by the idea of a fake Christmas tree, and people (like me) who think that real Christmas trees are just not worth the hassle.
Luckily, Mike and I share a love of fake Christmas trees. We put ours up on Saturday. Nothing about putting up a Christmas tree has really changed since I was a child. We make some hot chocolate (although now I drink it made with Splenda), put the Christmas music on (now it’s on an iPod instead of a record player), take the tree out of the box (yeah, that’s pretty much the same), and put the purple-tipped branches in the purple holes, the pink tipped branches in the pink holes . . . so on and so forth. I have had a real tree just one time in my whole life - the first year after we moved to Siler City, my family walked over to the land my grandparents owned that was next to the land we were living on and we chopped one down. It got dry and brittle before Christmas, and our cat kept knocking it down and drinking the water out of the tree stand. No, I prefer the simplicity of a fake tree.
My parents have not yet relinquished my childhood ornaments - the Miss Piggy ornament my Aunt Barbi gave me, the Rudolph with a “ruby” for its nose (since rubies are my birthstone), the second grade art projects . . . Mom still puts all of them on her tree. Maybe now that I have a house, she’ll let me have mine. Mike doesn’t have old Christmas ornaments, because his got lost in a move when he was in middle school. Currently our tree is decorated with a lot of snowman ornaments, because Mike has let it be known that snowmen are his favorite decoration, and my family has acknowledged that by giving us crazy amounts of snowmen.
While we do agree on the fake Christmas trees, we don’t agree on other decorations. I don’t mind colored lights on a tree, but Mike would have them all chasing each other or blinking frantically. He would also put lights on every square inch of our property if I would let him. He has to satiate his desire for tacky lights by looking at our neighbors’ houses. And we always do a night or two where we drive around and judge tacky Christmas lights. Can I just say: America, blue lights are only a good idea when mixed with red lights and green lights and white lights and purple lights. Blue lights by themselves? Just. Say. No.
I have had people look at me in disgust when I admit my preference for a fake tree. They act as if it’s a spiritual issue, or as if I am just a little slow in the head. I figure, we have enough stress just trying to get the lights on the tree and arguing about whether tinsel is tacky or not. I don’t need the hassle of trying to keep a tree alive on top of that.
Besides, when I sit on my couch with the Christmas tree on and on the other lights in the house turned off . . . well, are you going to tell me a real tree could look prettier than that?
November 29th, 2004 at
We had a real tree for the first two years of our marriage, but last year we bought an artifical tree. We are never going back. We will use this tree until I am 80 years old. No more sweeping up dead needles or keeping the cat out of the water for me ever again!
November 29th, 2004 at
To answer your question:
yes!
November 29th, 2004 at
I have to tell you the truth, Kari…
Sometimes you’re wrong.
There are at LEAST three types of people. I prefer real trees (’cause they smell so dang good) but realize that fake trees are MUCH less hassle, and therefore will accept either.
Of course, my likelihood to get a fake tree increased last year. We were picking parts of Linus (our beautiful evil tree) out of the carpet for MONTHS.
November 29th, 2004 at
Our family hasn’t put up a tree for the better part of a decade.
November 29th, 2004 at
But, CJ, you fit in category 2, then. You realize real trees aren’t worth the hassle. You aren’t horrified by the existence of fake trees.
Roger: It was a rhetorical question.
November 29th, 2004 at
we’ve never had a real tree…real trees are weird to me.
November 29th, 2004 at
:highfive:
November 29th, 2004 at
Those always trip me up!
November 29th, 2004 at
I am definitely horrified by fake Christmas trees. We have never had one, and I never will…hopefully. The smell is the greatest part of a real tree. And I am going to tell you that a real tree could look prettier than your fake one.
And it’s also about the experience of picking out a tree. Going out into the forest…or the parking lot of you local grocery store…and finding the perfect tree. And then cutting it down. Of course there will be a big bare spot on one side, but that gives it personality.
November 29th, 2004 at
Im with Rhonda, Ive never had a fake tree and I hopefully never will. When we moved in the current house my family is in I asked for a bigger Christmas tree (becasue we have a two story house). Thats the Christmas I learned the value of Christmas trees. Holy freaken crap! That is the ONLY down fall of real trees, they are a lot for something that will be around for maybe a month.
But Carla does have a point about out tree, Lenus. When I cleaned the apartment moving out I STILL found his remains. I think we bought a dead tree to begin with Carla. So much for YMCA trees. Home Depot is the way to go.
November 29th, 2004 at
Alisa… any Christmas tree is a dead tree… ’cause it’s not in the ground any more. Isn’t it?
(Actually, the problem is we should have asked them to cut off the bottom of his stump because it was sapped over and therefore couldn’t soak up the water and so he shed EVERYWHERE. Stupid Linus.)
November 29th, 2004 at
We always had a real tree when I was growing up, but now Gretchen and I use a plastic tree. I still love the ritual of going out to the Christmas tree farm to cut down a tree, but with 3 preschoolers it’s just not feasible now - plus we’ve killed a tree to only use it for a month. Maybe after the kids get older we’ll start a new tradition and plant a new evergreen tree in our yard every year the day after Thanksgiving. And that can be our living Christmas tree, and after a few years we’ll have several of them to enjoy all year long.
November 29th, 2004 at
fake trees rule
(just throwing that out there again..since I’m in the minority.)
November 29th, 2004 at
But we are a loud and proud minority.
November 29th, 2004 at
I declare minority rule!
November 29th, 2004 at
I’m with the live tree group. Phil went out on Sunday and chopped down this years version. The house smells wonderful. And yes, it’s a pain to clean up… but for the month of free deodorizing, I don’t mind.
Our tree decorating traditions are a bit abnormal. It involves raspberry gingerale and nachos (Doritos, tomato slices, peppers, onions, summer sausage, with cheese - all baked to perfection)
When Éva saw the Christmas tree this year (Phil got it when she was napping) she was scared of it! So maybe when she grows up, she’ll join your cause, Kari.
November 29th, 2004 at
Yes, trees are killed, but they have been raised just for that purpose. The poor trees who are never chosen. They must feel like such losers.
November 29th, 2004 at
Carla, you SO knew what I meant.
November 29th, 2004 at
i’m a fakey. i would like a real tree and all… but this way, i only pay for the tree once and i can always buy an evergreen candle.
November 29th, 2004 at
Kari, I’m even worse than you are — I have a fake tree with the lights already on it!! Hehehehe. I used to be a real tree purist… and then I went to med school…