When did my heart get so petrified?
All right, so, I’m reading A Severe Mercy, which came highly recommended, and I’m about halfway through. And I have to admit that, until last night/this morning, I wasn’t really digging it (but I was going to finish it, because it came so highly recommended. And I am stubborn). I read Mike some bits, and he had the same reaction I did, and I realized that what bugged me was that it was so earnest. They were so sure that their love could last and that they could do these things to protect it, and my cynical heart just couldn’t take it.
In our house, Mike’s the one who falls for those romantic kind of stories, and I’m the one sitting back explaining why it can’t happen that way, or why it won’t last. I don’t deny that I can and do get caught up in stories, but I guess it has to be the right kind of story. I did it to my friends Emily and Melissa last week: We watched 13 Going on 30 and while they were rooting wholeheartedly for Jennifer Garner (which, I don’t watch Alias, so that might have helped), I kept saying, “What about the fiancee?” I was (without giving too much away, I hope), in the end, satisfied with how it all turned out, but I feel like you can’t ignore the way things really are (in the world of the story) just because you want two people to get together. And even though A Severe Mercy is true, I feel like saying to these people, “You can’t just assume you will always be able to resolve these things, or that life is going to be that easy. Love isn’t always enough.”
Meanwhile, though, it seems like they have come to some of those same conclusions themselves (or found away around it), and I have been enjoying where the story is going, especially now that C.S. Lewis has entered the picture. I wonder, though, why it is that I am so uncomfortable with the genuine feelings that these (very nice, I am sure) people are expressing. Why does such straightforward emotion make me squirm? Why do I always make a joke or a sarcastic remark instead of being able to express my strong emotions with my friends? Why do I work so hard to avoid being earnest myself?
June 9th, 2005 at
i just wanted to say “hope you don’t get flamed for referencing the infamous ‘petrified heart.’”
it’s risky being open…people may laugh at you. and our culture can be very over-psychological in some ways…it feels like you aren’t really “allowed” to have honest emotions sometimes…that people expect that there must be something else underneath it (are you overcompensating for something or deluding yourself or…?)
-chalee (is also still learning the importance of being earnest.)
June 9th, 2005 at
See, I wavered between “Importance of being Earnest” and “When did my heart get so petrified” for the title. hehe. So, thanks for getting the other one in there.
June 9th, 2005 at
I’m with you, Kari – I’m quite the same with regards to stuff like that. I think that, at least for me, part of it comes from the fact that I call myself a “realist,” and therefore feel the need to pick apart things and point out things I don’t feel are realistic.
But then again, I have friends who call me a wet blanket because of it, but hey.
June 9th, 2005 at
I dont know if we can hang out tonight Kari. I mean, putting your title as lyrics from one of the worst Caedmons songs ever when it was up agaisnt Importance of being Earnest. I mean come on Kari. Are you feeling okay today?
June 9th, 2005 at
I had no idea my choice would be so controversial. I don’t really like the song, if it makes you all feel better.
(Although I do like that the song is about “the woman whose body was torn for the 12 tribes.” Who thought there was a song in that?)
June 9th, 2005 at
You don’t need to be earnest, Kari, unless Mike won’t marry someone not named earnest…
June 9th, 2005 at
Kari! I’m reading that TOO right now!
I haven’t seen Clive yet, though…
June 9th, 2005 at
I read parts of this book while the class I was subbing for watched The Importance of Being Earnest.
It took me a while to get into the book, too, but once I did… ooh, it was good.
June 10th, 2005 at
the honesty of that book hit me too, kari. i wondered about my lack of depth of emotions and the book made me uncomfortable, but in a way that i think was helpful.
p.s. it is the saddest book ever because of that openness of emotion. i thank garrett buell for recommending it to me and making me weep in the middle of a bookstore as i read it.
June 12th, 2005 at
(I actually really don’t hate Petrified Heart. But then I am not characteristic of many longtime Caedmon’s fans, I suppose. But anyway, no flaming coming from me on your title, Kari.)
I really want to read A Severe Mercy, I think that’ll be the next one I really make a point to read. I’ll have to see what my reaction to it is.
September 5th, 2005 at
I am visitor here and I haven’t read the book you’re reading but I appreciate your sentiments. There are some books that I have to put down half way through, consider it and come back to finish it because it challenges me in some way. I’m also well known for picking out the unplausibilities in romantic films.
While I’m here could someone explain the reference to the woman whose body was torn for the twelve tribes? I’m familiar with the song but still don’t understand the reference.
September 5th, 2005 at
Sure thing, Hazel, you can find the story about the woman in Judges 19.
http://biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges%2019&version=31
September 6th, 2005 at
(Kari, is this where I admit that I have never known the citation for that, until now? If not, I posted this entire comment in parentheses so that no one besides us will know. Hee.)
September 6th, 2005 at
I hope I can remain Tyrant after this.
I’ll admit: I’ve never known the citation of “scattered as the woman whose body / was torn for the twelve tribes” from Caedmon’s Call’s “Petrified Heart”, found on 40 Acres.
Okay, so I guess I could hav…