Through a Glass, Darkly

In books, it’s funny how dreams always mean something. If I thought my dreams actually meant something, I would have dumped Mike for Napoleon Dynamite. Yes, it’s true, I did have a dream in which Napoleon was my boyfriend. He was a good boyfriend, very sweet. Also, in that same dream, I was an astronaut. Again, not so much with the meaning. I’ve dreamed I was pregnant (according to the dream dictionary, that means I have a lot of changes coming), I dreamed I was dating Ryan Seacrest and we were on Survivor together (that dream may actually mean something: that I watch too much TV) (and can I just say that Ryan got REALLY SKINNY on Survivor), that Adriene wouldn’t tell me one of her secret ingredients for her sweet potato recipe (I woke up mad after that one until Mike reminded me that . . . it was just a dream), that I was on Gilmore Girls (again, too much TV). Sometimes I can tell from my dreams that I’m really stressed out, but that’s usually it. They’re usually too crazy to mean anything.

Last night, I dreamed that I was on an Amazing Race-type show, where we had to do all these tasks in a certain order so we could advance to the next round. One of the tasks had something to do with baking, one had something to do with doing certain moves on a swingset (I have no idea), and one had to do with getting a bunch of items from Sears. Again, no idea. Somehow, I got the host (who was some weird combination of Phil and Ryan Seacrest) to allow me to do fewer tasks than everyone else, but then it seemed like that changed and I still had to do everything. So I was working hard on my swingset moves, and getting all the ingredients for baking, and then I was at Sears. There was another girl there, who reminded me of someone I went to high school with, and we were both at the back of the pack, but we were working hard. And then. Who else is in this competition but Taylor Hicks? (Full disclosure: I am not so much a fan of Taylor Hicks. In fact, if he’s in the final two, I plan on voting. For whoever he’s up against. I have never voted before. Look what Taylor has made me do!) And what was Taylor doing? He was CHEATING. He was cutting in line and parking where he wasn’t supposed to. He was breaking a lot of rules. Taylor is a CHEATER.

I woke up and laughed and laughed. Now, I think that this dream could mean that I am frustrated with some things in my life, where I try to do everything right and play by the rules, but it’s still not working out like I think it should. But I also think that it means that I have a serious problem. This is the second dream in which Ryan Seacrest has appeared. And Taylor Hicks? I haven’t even watched American Idol in a few weeks. Ryan Seacrest is now a recurring theme in my dreams. What does Ryan symbolize?!

If this was a book, well, I’d probably end up with Ryan Seacrest. Or I would finally realize my attraction to Taylor Hicks. But . . . neither of them are really my type. So I really hope that’s not the case.