Through a Glass, Darkly

For an optimal grocery shopping experience, go on Halloween night. I went to Wal-Mart, and there were about four people there. No crowded aisles, no waiting in line. Mike stayed home and passed out candy. Genius, I say.

(I drove by a lot of trick-or-treaters to and from Wal-Mart. My informal research seemed to show that butterflies were the “it” costume for girls this year.)

I like Halloween - I like encouraging children to be imaginative and the magic of that one night when everyone’s door is open and you see all your neighbors out and people are dressed up . . . it’s just fun. My dad liked Halloween a lot. He always told us about getting pillowcases full of candy when he was little, and he’d get excited when he’d take us to the neighbors’ houses. It was bittersweet to drive through my neighborhood tonight and see all the families walking around. It made me miss him. We had good Halloween weather, at least. No one had to put his coat on OVER his Superman costume.

My favorite Halloween memory is from when I was 12 or 13. I was invited to a Halloween party, and my dad was going to drive me there. Joseph had something going on, and Mom was going to be with him, so no one was really going to be home. Plus, we didn’t normally get any/very many trick-or-treaters. Which meant that nobody had bought any candy, since none of us were going to be home anyway. But my party didn’t start until . . . maybe 7:00, and it was dark by then. And around 6:30, Dad and I had a few trick-or-treaters come to the door. We had nothing to give them. I had to give them the candy I’d gotten in school that day (my dad promised to replace it). And then, for the next half-hour, my dad and I sat in complete darkness so that no one else would come to the door. I remember that we discussed whether we should watch the TV in the living room, in case it gave off too much light, but I can’t remember whether we actually watched the other TV, the one in Mom and Dad’s bedroom. Regardless, we laughed so much - every time a car drove by, we would pray that it would keep on going. And I’m pretty sure that I got to the party early, because we didn’t want to sit in the dark anymore. And that, boys and girls, was the last time we forgot to buy Halloween candy. Good times.

While I was at Wal-Mart, I noticed Christmas decorations out. I’ve decided that next year, I will not rest until I find Christmas candy to give out at Halloween. Surely this is possible - Christmas candy will, after all, be on the shelves tomorrow. I am sure there are places that already have it out, right? How awesome would it be to give that out on Halloween? “Trick-or-treat!” “Here, have some candy, whatever the crap today is. Now go away.”

And, can I just say, I love the Internet. Tonight I was thinking about a song we learned in Music class in elementary school, and all I was able to remember was something about all these yucky ingredients like dead leaves and seaweed and then “stir them in my witch’s brew, I’ve got magic . . .” Well, not only did I easily find the lyrics, but I also got to listen to the actual song itself. What a great night.

Oh! One more thing! I made the pumpkin cookies again, this time with fresh pumpkin. The canned pumpkin was way better! These were fine, they were still good, but . . . stick with the cans! (I was very disappointed.)

I’d like to apologize to the world for how crabby I was last week. I don’t know why, exactly, but I was not my usual sunny self. (Hey! Stop snorting!) Anyway, for the weekend, I went with some women from church to Smith Mountain Lake, where we ate delicious food and drank wine and watched movies and football. That was actually pretty much all we did. Well, there was a lot of sitting around and talking, too. What I’m saying, though, is that there was not a lot of activity. We did take a quick walk before we left today, but other than that, we were pretty stationary.

To be honest, on Friday I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. I was just so crabby that I couldn’t really entertain the thought of leaving. When I don’t feel well, I just want to stay at home. Mike convinced me that wasn’t really an option, though, so I packed my bag and met up with my friends. We got to the lake without incident, and being around friends did help. As we sat and talked, I was able to be myself without focusing on myself. That’s something that used to be a challenge for me, and it was good to see that’s changed.

Recipes and further thoughts on the weekend below the cut.

(more…)

I’m currently reading Ken Jennings’ book (don’t look at me like that. How can I resist a book with blurbs from both Will Shortz AND A.J. Jacobs?!) and I’m enjoying it. It’s about his time on Jeopardy and also about the history of trivia, specifically trivia competitions. The two topics merge together well - people who would care enough about Ken Jennings (and Jeopardy!) to read his book are probably going to be the kind of people who care about trivia. It’s not, after all, the tale of his torrid affair with Alex Trebek. (I guess that’ll be his next book.) From watching the show, I knew he was a geeky sort of guy with a sense of humor, and that definitely comes across. He seems like a likeable guy.

Speaking of Ken Jennings, Glarkware (creators of many fine shirts) recently featured this shirt as one of their “Now or Never” deals:

I saw it, showed it to Mike, laughed, and promptly forgot about it. This week, though, Glark linked to a picture of Ken Jennings himself wearing it, which came from Ken Jennings’ own website. And to that, I say . . . HEE.

(And just because I can . . . here’s my favorite Ken Jennings moment. Again. I hope he mentions it in the book.)

Spoilers for the Gilmore Girls episode “The Great Stink.”

Last night’s episode was called “The Great Stink.” And stink it did. Even I, the eternal optimist, am not sure I can find something to be cheerful about. That was rough. But Theresa left me a sad comment begging me to help her feel better, and so I am going to do my best.

Let’s start somewhere easier. First, the townies. The pickle stuff was stupid, but think how terrible it would have been last year, if Daniel had written it. There would have been MORE pickles and MORE Taylor and MORE Kirk all in an attempt to show everybody how QUIRKY this show is. It would have been half the episode! Instead, it was just the right amount of townies to be humorous. That made me feel better about the new regime. I always think townies are best in small doses. Except Babette. I love Babette.

Additionally, as much as I don’t like Rory and Logan together, their scenes in the first half of the episode were . . . super-cute. I am hanging my head in shame as I type that. I cursed them for being so cute last night, for making me like Logan sometimes. But then, at the end, I felt good about not liking him again. Not that what he did was so terrible, just that it was enough to make me get over him again. hehe. But still, I must confess, when Rory jumped on him, I got all girly and smiley. Stupid Huntzberger, winning me over for 30 minutes.

Also, I should point out that Theresa loves British accents. And I’ll use that to segue into this question: “Was Bobby/Bobbi the Orbit gum girl?”

I’ve been enjoying the good Lorelai and Rory scenes lately, and I have to say that the phone conversation they had was very fun. “Pickles pickles pickles.” hee.

I guess I have stalled long enough. And I’m still not sure I can think of something positive to say. (In fact, I said that last night. “What am I going to tell Theresa?!“) It does seem like they were talking smack about Luke without giving him a chance to defend himself, which is sad. (Especially since he was pretty much just another townie in this episode.) And Christopher is suddenly supposed to be likeable. I feel a little bit of despair creeping in myself.

However, I still maintain that Christopher is not really what Lorelai wants. She wants someone who is a part of her whole life, who understands the Stars Hollow part of her (which Christopher doesn’t), who knows Rory (which . . . Christopher wasn’t around for MOST OF RORY’S LIFE), and who will support her in her relationship with her parents. Now, sure, the grandparents love Christopher, but I think that he and his sarcasm are never going to help her make peace with Richard and Emily.

This is the last season. She needs someone who can help her learn how to merge all those parts of her life, not someone who helps her compartmentalize them. She needs someone who can give her the whole package. The question is not, “Is Christopher going to be tempted by Sherri?” or, “Is Christopher going to be so great she can’t resist?” or, “Is Christopher going to screw it up?” The question is, “Is Christopher what Lorelai wants and needs?” And, despite his newly-written charms that certainly haven’t been present in seasons past, I think the answer is no.

I’ve been thinking about old episodes lately, thinking about why I hate Christopher so much. There are a lot of reasons I don’t like him, but one scene sums it up for me. In “Christopher Returns,” the following conversation takes place between Christopher’s parents, Richard and Emily, and Lorelai:

STRAUB: A mutual mistake Richard? This whole evening is ridiculous. We’re supposed to sit here like one big happy family and pretend that the damage that was done is over, gone? I don’t care about how good a student you say that girl is….

LORELAI: Hey!

STRAUB: Our son was bound for Princeton. Every Hayden male attended Princeton including myself, but it all stopped with Christopher. It’s a humiliation we’ve had to live with every day, all because you seduced him into ruining his life. She had that baby and ended his future.

GRANDPA: [grabbing Straub’s arm] You recant that Straub!

STRAUB: You’re spilling my drink.

GRANDPA: You owe my daughter an apology.

STRAUB: An apology, that’s rich.

GRANDPA: How dare you?! [grabbing Straub] How dare you?!

GRANDMA: Richard what are you doing?

GRANDPA: How dare you come into my house and insult my daughter!

STRAUB: Let go of me!

CHRISTOPHER: Whoa, whoa, what is going on here? [putting himself between them]

More than insulting Lorelai, who can take it, Straub called Rory a mistake. And Christopher . . . Christopher sat there and let him do it. He didn’t get involved until well after Richard, who is not known for being all that close to Lorelai, actually got involved and defended his daughter (and granddaughter). Christopher, as Rory’s father, should have been the first person (or at least the first person after Lorelai) to call out his father. But he didn’t. He did what was easy, just like he’s always done.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because I think that Luke, who certainly hasn’t done everything right in recent seasons, would never sit there and let someone berate Rory, who is the most important person in Lorelai’s life. I think Luke, having watched Lorelai and Rory interact on a daily basis for years, understands that part of Lorelai’s life better than Christopher does, even if Christopher and Rory are closer than they were back in season 1. Christopher may get the flippant side of Lorelai, but Luke gets what makes her tick. And even though he was berated last night, I think he is ultimately the better man.

I guess I did have something to say. I didn’t even know all that was in there. hehe.

Next week is a rerun, and I for one can use the break. We’ll use the next two weeks to muster up the courage to see what happens next. Stay strong!

Dear Frank Deford,

I miss you. When I started my new job back in June, I had to get used to a different schedule, going in at 8:00 instead of 9:00. I always looked forward to your sports commentary on Wednesday mornings just before 9:00. Now I don’t get to hear it, and it makes me sad. Perhaps you could get the station to move your commentary up an hour? Just a suggestion.

Take me out to the ballgame,
Kari

—

Dear Valerian Root,

Way to help me sleep last night. I even went back to sleep after getting up to go to the bathroom. Also, I had no headache or sleep hangover this morning. You rock.

Zzzzzzzzzz,
Kari

—

Dear Mike,

If I have to tell you again that those cookies are for the church’s Halloween party, we are going to rumble. Stop eating the cookies. I will not take, “I forgot they were for the church,” as an excuse, you heathen.

Cease and desist,
Kari

—

Dear Cookies,

Thank you for being so delicious. But if Mike tries to eat you, run away. I heard about the Gingerbread Man. I know you guys can run. You are for the church party. Not for Mike.

What about the children,
Kari

P.S. Would you really be that much better with fresh pumpkin? We all know how I feel about extracting pumpkin.

—

Dear Mike’s New Nephew Luke,

You are cute. Please don’t be confused when we call you “Little Michael” for the rest of your life.

Love,
Aunt Kari

—

Dear Suede Vest,

On one hand, I love your orange color and how warm you are. You make me feel like fall. On the other hand, every time I wear you, Mike tells me that hugging me is like hugging a cow. I have mixed emotions about you, suede vest.

Undecidedly yours,
Kari

P.S. Mike would like me to point out that he said it was like hugging a SKINNY cow. As if that helps his case at all.

—

Dear Regular Coffee,

We’d been doing so much better, but today you made me feel empty and jittery. We are off again. Even though it was in the 30s this morning. I’m sticking with tea.

Finding it hard to type,
Kari

—

Dear Weather,

Would it be possible for us to have something between 80 and 30? Some nice sunny days in the 50s and 60s? No? Do I ask this every year? Yeah, I thought so.

At least the leaves are pretty this year,
Kari

—

Dear Anne Rice,

Carrying your book around was certainly an interesting experience. People make all kinds of assumptions about a person who reads Anne Rice. For the record, no, I’m not into vampires. Or the gnostic gospels. I did, however, enjoy your book very much. You obviously did a lot of research, and I learned a lot about the history of that time period, and I’m glad I read it. So, thanks.

Still not reading books about creepy vampires,
Kari

—

Dear Marie Antoinette,

You had really pretty clothes but your movie was kind of a mess.

At least Mom and I enjoyed the popcorn,
Kari

—

Dear Mike,

How ’bout I make you some cookies of your very own this weekend and you stop calling me a cow? I know you said skinny cow, but I don’t care.

Deal or no deal,
Kari

Cookie recipe stolen from Pemberley below the cut!

(more…)

KARI: Did I tell you about the giant roach?

MIKE: A giant roach that’s here right now?

KARI: No. I was at my friend’s house and I went to the bathroom and closed the door. And then, as I was sitting on the toilet, I saw that ON THE WALL BEHIND THE DOOR THERE WAS A GIANT ROACH. And everyone was outside, so I couldn’t just leave it. I had to be very brave. So I took off my shoe and hit it with my shoe.

MIKE: Good job. You were very brave.

KARI: Except I missed.

MIKE: Oh.

KARI: So then it scurried down the wall and across the floor, and I quickly put my shoe on and stomped it.

MIKE: Good -

KARI: Before you say, “Good job,” you should know that I missed again.

MIKE: Oh.

KARI: Well, I kind of grazed it. It was injured.

MIKE: Well, that’s something, I guess.

KARI: So then it was cowering in the corner and I stood there for at least a minute and a half making sure it wasn’t going to move. And then I went and got help. By which I mean, I stucked my head out the door of the house and yelled, “HELP! THERE’S A BUG!” And people laughed at me.

MIKE: “Help, there’s a bug?” Really?

KARI: Yes. And we came back and found it and my friend sprayed it with cleaner and we killed it.

MIKE: “We?”

KARI: *shamefully* She.

MIKE: So you tried to hit it twice, missed, and yelled for help. Very brave. Are you sure it was the same roach?

KARI: Yes. How many roaches do you think my friend has?

MIKE: I don’t know. Where there’s one aren’t there others?

KARI: Well, older houses in the South have roaches. Also apartments in New York City. I don’t think there’s anything that can be done to get rid of them all. I’ve never seen roaches here, though.

MIKE: We just have a ladybug infestation. And slugs in the front yard. I did see a roach once.

KARI: IN THE HOUSE?

MIKE: Very brave. No, in the yard. It was dead.

KARI: Did you say to all the other roaches, “This is what happens if you come to our house, suckas!”

MIKE: I put his head on a pole as a warning to all the others.

KARI: This is what happens if you come to our house, suckas!

MIKE: Well, if Kari’s home alone, you might just get grazed. Until someone comes to help.

KARI: *hits Mike with shoe*

Good.

Lately I’ve been drinking more decaf tea in the evenings. After many years of rejecting fruit tea, I have decided I like it after all. I especially like Black Cherry Berry Herb Tea by Celestial Seasonings. I don’t even normally like cherries. Sadly, I realized last night that one of the reasons I might like it is because it smells like Kool-Aid. Cherry Kool-Aid. Mike tasted it and said, “Three more spoonfuls of sugar, and it’ll taste just like warm Kool-Aid, too.” I like a tea that tastes like Kool-Aid. The tea people are going to take my tea card away, aren’t they?

Mike made me a playlist that has the song “White Houses” by Vanessa Carlton on it, among other things. Alisa and I were talking about it and I mentioned that it’s a really sad song, but I couldn’t think quite why when I said it, so I looked up the lyrics, and it’s about a magical summer when the main character lived in a house with four friends and the fun that they had and the boy that she liked . . . and then it all got messed up with sex and the relationships got complicated and . . . it ended. In the song, she’s looking back with affection on that time, even though she’s lost those friends now. I’m the kind of person who likes to romanticize the past, I think. (Susan made me a mix CD with “Painting Pictures of Egypt” and we should probably cue it here.) I either do that or I completely throw out all the good stuff with the bad stuff. Either way, it’s hard for me to see things as they were, and I tend to look back and feel that things were much easier. I enjoy “White Houses” because I know exactly the kind of summer that she’s talking about, the kind with so few responsibilities and all you have to do is spend time with your friends and stay up late and have inside jokes and everything is fraught with meaning. And you don’t realize how quickly it will fade away, that those days will be over and you’ll find yourself with a 40-hour-a-week job and maybe even a house and a family. This is getting to be so long that maybe it should have been its own entry, but the song has reminded me that I’m going to look back on this time with affection just as much as I do previous times, and I’ll remember the sleeping in on the weekends and the road trips and the cups of coffee with friends and the shopping with my mom and the job that I enjoy. And I should try to embrace it now, not just exist in it. And maybe that’s a little deep for a silly pop song, but I don’t really care.

At church they’re doing a series on Jewish women, and I’ve missed a few of them, but I was there for Ruth. I’ve heard the story of Ruth hundreds of times - sermons on it, small group studies, personal studies . . . so much Ruth! This time the sermon was about how Ruth trusted God as she took each step, not worrying so much about the future. And it was also about how God created a family for Ruth and Naomi, even though it didn’t look like what they had expected. Both of those were things I needed very much to hear right now. I think that’s what I’m learning these days.

Bad.

I haven’t had any time for exercise in the past two weeks. I’ve been so busy in the evenings, or so tired. I’d rather veg out on the computer or in front of the TV. I haven’t been reading all that much. I haven’t seen many of my friends. When I am busy, I get anti-social.

I hate having to decide what to wear in this kind of weather. Some days it’s cool. Some days it’s cool in the morning and in the 80s in the afternoon. Don’t tell me to layer. I know that. I just don’t have good clothes for this kind of weather.

Ugly.

Earlier this week I read Kristen’s entry about OxyClean spray, and I was like, “Wow, nothing like that has ever happened to me with OxyClean.” I don’t use the spray, but even so. And then, this morning I discovered that, while using OxyClean to get a tomato stain off of Mike’s new M. Ward t-shirt, I apparently bleached the front. And I don’t think the shirt is available online (at least, I can’t find it). And I am sad. It’s been ages since something of his got messed up in the wash, but I really hate that it was his new shirt. Anybody got a solution? It looks like M. Ward is . . . touring in Europe right now. Anybody want to go to Europe and catch a show and bring me back a t-shirt?

Other.

I finished a book that was pretty enjoyable: Dinner with Anna Karenina. It was about a book club and the things that happen to them over the course of a year. Up next: this month’s book club selection, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt.

Spoilers for Gilmore Girls episode “S’Wonderful, S’Marvelous.”

This recap is entitled “For the LOVE!” because that’s what I said a lot during the first scene. hehe.

At first glance, this wasn’t a good episode for people who like Luke and Lorelai. But, after thinking about it, it’s not like it was a good episode for Christopher, which makes me think it was a better episode for Luke and Lorelai than I originally thought. Anything that’s bad for Christopher is good for Luke, as far as I’m concerned.

“What?” you’re saying. “How was it a bad episode for Christopher?! He was fun! He planned the fun date! Lorelai deserves to have fun after all the sad stuff she’s been through.” Well, yes, she had fun, and if it had stayed there, I would have conceded a point for Chris.

However. I think what happened at the end negated the fun date. Here’s why. (I stole some of this from a discussion I had last night, so if it sounds familiar to some of you, I’m sorry. It’s not familiar to Theresa, and she’s the one who needs to be talked off a ledge. Hehe.)

Mike and I both thought that Christopher’s whining at the end was very telling. He wanted the evening to be about him, about how great he was, and he was upset that Lorelai could only think about her mother being in jail. It seemed to me that, in an effort to appease him and thank him for the date, Lorelai invited him in. The way that he whined about the date didn’t make me feel like he was thinking about her. If he was thinking about her, he would have been happy to share that experience with her, happy that she was happy. Instead, he was upset that the event that he created didn’t come off like he was wanting.

Additionally, if he was thinking about her, he would have respected what she’d said earlier about keeping things slow, especially in light of the season finale. You would think he’d want to make sure she didn’t regret her decision this time. Instead, we get the same Christopher we’ve always had, the one who thinks just about himself and what he wants. He keeps forcing what he wants on her: “I love you,” “I want to sleep with you,” “It’s right for us to be together.” As we talked about last week, she’s clearly not sure about how she feels about a lot of things right now, from pop tarts to Christopher (pop tarts: more nutritious and substantial than Christopher any day . . . and I don’t even like pop tarts), but he keeps pushing it.

What this says to me is that Christopher is, in essence, still the same guy he was in season 1 – the guy who proposed to Lorelai when she was upset about his parents, about having slept with him on the balcony, about having missed her painting date with Luke. That Christopher is acting exactly the same way seems like a good sign, because she didn’t want him then, she’s more grown up and responsible, and there’s no way that he’s a long-term prospect if he’s still acting like he did in 2001. He’s exactly what he’s always been – a guy who makes things fun. But that’s not enough for a relationship. And I think that’s where this is headed - Chris is not ultimately a guy Lorelai can be with long-term, and I think that’s what she’s going to find out. (Crash and burn, Christopher!)

Overall, I thought this episode was fine. It wasn’t great, but it was okay. There were things I enjoyed: I always like Luke’s awkwardness with April, I liked that Rory was getting a life apart from Logan and that she wasn’t at his beck and call, I liked Emily being in jail. It was fine. I just wish we didn’t have to sit through all this Christopher stuff. But, say it with me, this episode did not make him look like a long-term prospect. Which is fine by me.

(Also, I know that, even though the episode was set in August, it’s totally lame that they were talking about Snakes on a Plane. But, as someone said at work today, it was a nexus of all things Kari. It made me happy. David Rosenthal: my new BFF.)

The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield is, in the end, a ghost story, but not the kind I expected. Vida Winter, “the world’s most famous living author,” is ill. Though she’s always resisted biographers in the past, she has summoned the daughter of a bookseller, Margaret Lea, to write her story. As Margaret listens, the secrets of Vida Winter’s life (including a ruined estate, a mysterious fire, questionable parentage, and twins - with a little Jane Eyre thrown in for good measure) unfold, the story twists and turns. Meanwhile, Margaret, dealing with her own ghosts, is not completely convinced that Miss Winter is telling the truth, so she’s doing a little detective work of her own. At Miss Winter’s insistence, the story is told chronologically, and Margaret’s questions (and ours) must wait until the proper time to be answered. Answered they are, though, and the book makes for a very satisfying read, even for someone who (like me) doesn’t read a lot of gothic novels. It’s a book best read as quickly as possible, in great big gulps, and is the perfect book to read on a cold day with a cup of your hot beverage of choice (be careful not to gulp the coffee). I give it the thumbs up.

I read Fair and Tender Ladies by Lee Smith when I was in high school, still too young for it. I remember feeling like it was, perhaps, going over my head. I knew there was something a little bit wrong with the black-and-white way I was approaching this book that never intended to be a moral tale (I did not approve of all of Ivy’s decisions), but I couldn’t quite get past that and immerse myself in the book’s world.

I hadn’t read a Lee Smith book since then, but I had heard a lot of buzz about On Agate Hill (including the News & Observer’s, “Somebody should give a copy of this book to a member of the Nobel committee” recommendation), so I was looking forward to reading it. Based on my previous Lee Smith experience, I was expecting a story in which the place was as much a character as the people, a story in which people make bad decisions because that’s how people act in real life. Those expectations were met, but it doesn’t begin to tell the story of this book.

On Agate Hill is the story of Molly Petree, who is 13 when the novel opens and lives with her uncle’s family in Agate Hill, North Carolina. Her father died in the Civil War, and her mother passed away after finding refuge at Agate Hill, leaving her an orphan. The first part of the story is told through her diary, which, I must confess, I found difficult to get through. I have read many books that started with a young girl’s diary and moved quickly on to “the real story.” As I was reading the first part of On Agate Hill, I kept waiting for “the real story” to start. I finally realized that I was thinking about the story in the wrong way – instead of simply setting up the story, the diary was a part of the story itself, the first act. And when I changed the way I approached it, the novel opened itself up to me.

Molly’s life consists of hiding in the attic, playing fairies and collecting “phenomena” with her friend Mary White, and being bossed by the housekeeper who eventually marries her uncle.

The second act of the book is set at Gatewood Academy, where Molly is attending school thanks to the generosity of Simon Black, a man who fought with her father and has, for reasons known only to himself, appointed himself as Molly’s benefactor. Much of this section of the book is from the diary of the school’s headmistress, Mariah Snow. Mrs. Snow hates Molly, despises her, and attributes all kinds of scheming to the most innocent of Molly’s actions. As much as she tries to make life miserable for Molly, Molly escapes this time mostly unscathed. Her life so far has taught her to think of herself as a “bad girl,” and she resolves not to lose her heart to a man, believing it can only lead to trouble.

From school, Molly becomes, along with Mariah Snow’s sister Agnes, a teacher in a one-room schoolhouse on Bobcat Mountain. This part of the tale is told in part from Agnes Rutherford’s journal. Molly thrives here, and finally falls in love with a banjo player named Jacky Jarvis, a man who understands her and whose passion for life rivals her own. Through their love, Molly and Jacky find a kind of peace despite his philandering ways and the fact that none of their children survive past toddler age. Even so, when Jacky is murdered, Molly is accused of the crime. The fourth act of the book is the story of their marriage, pieced together from documents relating to the trial.

When she is acquitted, Molly returns to Agate Hill, which has been bought by her benefactor Simon Black, and there she closes out her days, revealing to us, finally, some of the answers about Simon’s involvement in her life. The book ends as it begins, with Molly’s diary.

The novel is also given structure by the inclusion of Tuscany Miller, a college student who has found the diary and box of phenomena, and includes her notes on them from time to time. It was a good sign that, when I saw her notes at the end of the first section, I found it rather jarring. I realized that I had finally immersed myself in the world of the book.

Lee Smith has managed to write an account of a lively, imaginative girl who grows into a headstrong woman. She makes decisions that might seem unwise in the eyes of the world, but she also manages to grasp on to love anywhere she can find it, and hold on with both hands. One of the reviews I read mentioned that Molly might owe something to Lee Smith’s memory of Anne of Green Gables (I don’t know if that came from an interview or what). Having just reread AoGG, I have to say that I like that comparison. Not for the reason you’d expect, though - when I read AoGG now, it seems more and more unlikely to me that Anne could have survived being unloved for so long and still have come out of those experiences as such an open-hearted caring person. Of course I buy it within the world of the book, but Molly Petree is given a little bit more depth than Anne, a little more grit. She doesn’t escape her childhood unscathed, but, like Anne, she makes the best of it. They have different ways of doing it, but they both thrive on imagination. (That’s not to say that I’m recommending this book to Anne fans. Yes, it’s similarly themed in some ways, but this is a much darker book.) Molly is a character I will not soon forget, a woman who overcomes hardship without her story being trite or unrealistic. This was not an easy book for me to get through - not because of the story but because of the depth of the writing - but, in the end, I found it was worth the effort.

Spoilers for “Lorelai’s First Cotillion.”

All right, so, I admit that this week was not as good as last week. And I don’t mean that on just a Luke/Lorelai level, though we can talk about that in a minute. Rory and Lane weren’t as cute as last week (especially the creepy sext messaging), the Zach stuff was just okay (though I liked the smooching at the end), please make Logan put his shirt back on, and I don’t love things like cotillions, so I found the little girl storyline a bit creepy. Although it was also endearing to see even the girl who was supposed to be a young Lorelai enjoying herself.

I admit that on the Luke/Lorelai front, things were not so positive, what with the NEW HAT THAT MADE ME CRY (EVEN WHEN HE WAS MARRIED TO NICOLE HE WORE THE BLUE HAT) and Christopher’s profession of love and Lorelai calling him at the end. However, even though I felt that this episode was just okay, I don’t feel like all is lost. They hammered it home pretty hard that Lorelai doesn’t feel like she know which choices were her choices and which were reactionary choices, which is something interesting for her character to explore. It’s something they’ve touched on in the past, with things like Rory’s coming out, but it would be nice to see Lorelai growing even more into a woman who makes decisions not just to piss her parents off but because of what she really wants.

They’ve set it up so that she can find out whether Christopher is really (as Luke said last week) the kind of guy (or THE guy) she’s supposed to be with. But . . . he’s not. However, I can accept that as a storyline for now. And, as I said last week, if she’s got to get him out of her system once and for all, I can be fine with that. His “love” for her doesn’t negate the ways he’s acted in the past, and I don’t think it’s going to change the direction this story is ultimately headed. Honestly, I’d be a lot more concerned if this was coming up closer to the middle or end of the season. But it feels a lot like a “Get it out of her system early and get to the real story” kind of thing. The real story? Luke and Lorelai finally being in synch, finally being the people who can let each other into their lives. We were headed that way at the start of last season, and the April thing was just a detour. Ditto Chris. (Honestly, I feel like Chris can be a great tool - heh, he’s already a tool - to help Lorelai see what she really wants.) We’ll get there eventually. (You, too, can be as Zen as I am.)

What was good was:

-The grandparents not reacting to Lorelai’s announcement. That was classic Gilmore - they didn’t do what she expected and she got upset and made a scene. hehe.

-Paris. But I always love her. (Except for the creepy sext messaging.)

-Lorelai and Michel dancing. You pretty much have to love that, because Michel is always talking about what a great dancer he is. And also because of her giant corsage.

I don’t feel like I have a lot to say . . . for me, this episode was pretty much setting up the inevitable. But the inevitable isn’t going to be the end of the story. Just a bump in the road. I don’t even mind watching it play out if it’s going to be executed well, and, again, even though I thought this episode was just okay, everyone felt and sounded like themselves again. Even though I wanted this season to be a “reset,” with it all having been a dream, I’m content with what’s happened so far. It wasn’t a storyline reset, but the characters do feel like they’ve started over, and the horrible depressing angst is gone. Which makes me feel better, at least.

(If you get sad, just remember Christopher getting punched in the face. It’s set to “save until I delete” status on my TiVo. hee hee.)

Today I was flipping through The Best of America’s Test Kitchen 2007 and came across a recipe for cream of broccoli soup. Knowing that Alisa left some broccoli at our house, I decided to make it. And it was delicious. I had too much broccoli (I bought some, not all of it was Alisa’s), so I added some extra broth to compensate, and I’m not sure the texture was quite what it was supposed to be, but that didn’t seem to matter. And . . . I may have put 3/4 cup dry white wine in instead of 1/4 cup. I think I read it wrong. Regardless, it tasted fabulous (and I swear that’s not just because of the wine). It was a little bit labor-intensive, but not difficult. It just took some time to get everything chopped and cooked. But we agreed we’d use this recipe again. So, now, what goes well with a cup of cream of broccoli soup? I made cheese quesadillas, but I’m open to other suggestions.

Light Cream of Broccoli Soup

1 1/2 pounds broccoli, florets cut into 1-inch pieces, enough stalks peeled and chopped fine to make 3/4 cup (discard any remaining stalks)
1 onion, minced (about 1 cup)
1 t. vegetable oil
1/2 t. salt
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 T. unbleached all-purpose flour
1/4 cup dry white wine
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 1/2 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
1/2 cup half-and-half
salt and pepper to taste

1. Combine the chopped broccoli stalks, onion, oil, and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a large saucepan. Cover and cook over medium-low heat, stirring often, until softened, 8 to 10 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

2. Stir in the flour and cook for 1 minute. Whisk in the wine with the bay leaf and cook until the wine is absorbed, about 1 minute. Whisking constantly, gradually add the broths. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Cover, reduce the heat to medium-low, and simmer until slightly thickened and the broth no longer tastes of flour, about 5 minutes. Add the florets and continue to simmer, uncovered, until tender, 7 to 10 minutes. Remove the bay leaf.

3. Puree the mixture in a blender (or food processor) until smooth, and return to a clean saucepan. Stir in the half-and-half and cook over low heat until just hot (do not boil), about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste and serve immediately.

Serves 4.

(P.S. I served it with a little cheddar cheese on top.)

I watched the girl look at herself in the mirror, and she turned to me and said, “Miss, what do you think? I need a dress for my school formal. Do you think this one looks okay?”

It most decidedly did not look okay. But as I tried to put words together that would kindly convey what I was thinking, my aunt jumped in and said, “It would look better with more support,” which was true. What I did not say that I wanted to say was, “You can do better.” She didn’t look like a model, even a plus-sized one, but . . . she could have looked cuter in a dress that played up her assets. But I didn’t know how to say that, so I said nothing. As I waited by the door of the dressing room for my aunt to change, I watched to see if the girl came back out with that dress. I listened to her talk to her friends, but I couldn’t tell if she was going to buy it. We left before I heard what was decided.

I’ve been saying a whole lot of nothing lately. People ask me how I’m doing, and I tell them I’m fine or I change the subject. People do things that surprise me (in the bad kind of way) and I stay silent, retreating into (or hiding in) politeness, good manners that dictate that I say nothing. I am starting to wonder if the people around me have noticed.

I have been feeling kind of stuck lately - I’m still working my way through that same Lee Smith book. It’s been slow going, but I felt like I made some good progress last night and today, and I finally feel like the end is in sight. I’ve also been struggling with my response to some relationships, not knowing exactly the right way to handle things. I can be a person who lacks grace, especially when I’m stressed out, and that’s been an issue for me the past few weeks. When I’ve been hurt, I’ve complained to Mike about it, rehashing the other person’s faults and exponentially increasing my own irritation simply by letting it fester. I’d gotten better about that, I thought. Lately, though, every criticism has stuck with me, every slight has been magnified. I’ve reverted.

And I guess reverting is understandable, though I know Mike is getting pretty tired of it. But it’s not what I want. I want to be more compassionate, but I see so many of my heart’s desires slipping through my fingers, and as I snatch at them, I lash out at people. Snatching, as Harriet Vane once told us, is never the best solution. And yet it’s hard to resist the urge.

Yesterday at church, I was reminded by the story of Ruth that God provides family for us even when it doesn’t look like the traditional family that we grow up idealizing. That was a good thing to hear, because it’s been on my mind a lot lately. I feel like I learned that lesson once, right after Mike and I got married, when I was sad about not having his parents, but I am learning it again now.

Ruth also made me think about just taking the next step, doing the right thing right now, and not worrying about the future. Right now what I need to be worrying about is being a graceful compassionate person. I need to speak up for myself without getting so worked up. I need to just keep taking one step at a time.

Spoilers for Gilmore Girls episode “That’s What You Get Folks, for Makin’ Whoopee.”

First of all: Did you watch Veronica Mars? Why not? It’s a great show, I’m thrilled that it’s on after Gilmore Girls, and all of you should be watching it, too.

Okay, now, on to our actual topic. I heard a lot this past week about the Sherman-Palladinos getting the “last laugh” since ratings were down from last year’s premiere. How is it possible that they are getting the last laugh? This is THEIR crappy storyline that brought the ratings down! People WANTED to see Luke and Lorelai get engaged in last year’s premiere. We are not so much excited about Lorelai waking up in Christopher’s bed. I don’t really think that’s the new showrunner’s fault, or the WB [may it rest in peace]’s fault. I am pretty sure that the blame for the ratings being down falls firmly at the feet of “the bad people,” since they are the ones who gave us all this unhappiness. My biggest hope for this season, more than Luke and Lorelai getting back together (which is probable), more than the return of Marty (which is highly unlikely but a girl can dream . . . and hold on to storylines that are years past their prime) is that the show will do incredibly well and that David Rosenthal, who was handed a bad situation, will be the one with the last laugh. This can happen. I want to see it happen. Which is why we have to stick with this show. If you give up on the show, the terrorists win.

Sorry, I just needed to get that out of my system. On to tonight’s episode.

After watching the names of dozens and dozens of people who now produce in some capacity move across the screen, I noticed that the episode was written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner. “YES!” I squealed. “This will be good.” I didn’t love her episodes last season, but she always had good characterization and her episodes have a certain sweetness/bittersweetness to them. She wrote “Emily Says Hello” and my favorite episode of Freaks and Geeks, so I was excited, to say the least. Plus, her episode had already started with Luke punching Christopher in the nose. Instant classic already.

And, from the nose punch to Lane’s awful honeymoon (and sex conspiracy), from the meeting in the middle of the road to Rory chewing her mother out, from “Kirk’s” to a slightly less annoying version of TJ (and Liz being the voice of reason about Anna and April. Liz! Of all people!), from the “trip to Asia” to the final showdown in the grocery store, this episode didn’t disappoint. Yes, as the other Kari mentioned in my comments, Luke wasn’t the nicest of guys this week (is it wrong that I enjoyed him being mean more than a little bit and offered to make him my boyfriend again?). But he apologized (or said he was a jerk, which I guess is close enough) and . . . that, “You’ll go back to being Lorelai Gilmore and I’ll go back to being the guy who pours your coffee,” was pretty much perfect. He doesn’t believe they aren’t right for each other, and neither does she. It broke my heart (it got a little dusty in the room is what I’m saying), but it made me so much more sure that it’s all going to end well. I do not care what promos say (and I don’t know what they say anyway). I do not believe the Evil Promo Guy. I just know that if they were going to have Luke and Lorelai apart forever, they wouldn’t have bothered to show us him being kind at the end. The road ahead may not be perfectly smooth, but, from the way it ended, I feel like everything is going to be fine.

Lorelai isn’t meant to be with Christopher, and this episode just made that even more clear. I feel like I don’t even have to say anything, because, clearly, it must be as obvious to you as it was to me. Surely, Theresa, you must feel more cheered up after this episode. If you aren’t, just remember Luke punching Christopher in the face. I’ve waited YEARS for that scene. And when the Ls finally get back together, it will totally be worth it. This one episode made me feel that way. This one episode that was greater than the entire last season (except maybe Rory’s 21st birthday party and that time Gil played “Hollaback Girl” at the bar mitzvah), that had the characters being themselves and had the sweet quirkiness back. This show is going to be fine. Luke and Lorelai are going to be fine. We’ll see who gets the last laugh in the end.

(Oh, and how much did I love the parallels of Rory yelling at Lorelai . . . just like Lorelai yelled at her at the end of season 4? Such a great job there.)

While I don’t miss wearing glasses or contacts, I realized over the weekend that I miss the ritual of coming home after a long day, taking out my contacts, putting on my glasses and pajamas. I miss that step of relaxing. It’s not that I can’t relax without it, it’s just that it was part of what I did, one of my ways to transition into “home mode.” On Sunday, when we got home from our beach weekend, I took a shower and put on pajamas, and I realized that I kind of missed the “making my eyes less tired” step. I hadn’t realized how much a part of my life even that small thing was.

Speaking of my eyes, I thought about them again last night (mostly I don’t think about them at all anymore) when I was making Mega Meatball Pizza and I had to cut up an onion. When I wore contacts, I was the designated onion cutter in the family, because the contacts protected my eyes and kept me from crying. Now, though, onions have maybe lost a tiny bit of their appeal (and if Theresa is reading this, she can tell you that that is saying something), since they do, after all, make my eyes burn and run.

We had a nice beach trip - my mom and I went shopping, we had good food, Mike and I destroyed Mom and Joseph at bocce ball . It was good to be together as a family in a house that holds so many nice memories.

I find I don’t have a lot to say right now, so I’m not sure if I should just take a break or update irregularly or just tell you all about the books I’m reading. (I won’t do that last one, don’t worry. But since I have you here, I may run down a few that were good that I have read recently.) I read one I enjoyed over the weekend, called London is the Best City in America. I have read several enjoyable books lately, including Rise and Shine by Anna Quindlen (wonderful), The Monk Downstairs by Tim Farrington (well-written and pleasant), Tolstoy Lied by Rachel Kadish (did not disappoint . . . and I was looking forward to it), Thirty-Three Swoons by Martha Cooley (liked it even better than her first - could not put it down), and, of course, the latest Alexander McCall Smith, which was as fabulous as always.

Right now I’m stalled early on in the new Lee Smith - I had planned to read it, but not quite yet. My coworker, though, asked me to read it and write a review for her book club, and the whole idea is so daunting that I’ve barely started it. I don’t really want to read and take notes. I am taking solace in the fact that, by all accounts, it’s going to be a great read. I just have to get started on it.

I wish I had something to say that was meaningful, something I’ve been thinking of or learning, but what I’ve been doing a lot of is specifically not thinking. I am doing okay, but I don’t have anything to say about it, at least not right now.

Other than that, Mike and I are looking forward to having soup this week (it’s allowed) and hopefully having a night out at our fire pit. We missed most of September, so it will be nice to try to make sure that October is present and accounted for.