An actual conversation I had with Old Navy.
KARI: Old Navy, I would like to buy some jeans.
OLD NAVY: I am uninterested in your money.
KARI: No, seriously, I need some jeans.
OLD NAVY: I refuse to provide some in your size.
KARI: I have noticed that. In the three Old Navys I have visited in two different states.
OLD NAVY: Well, now that I think about it, I did have some in your size.
KARI: We have spoken about the skinny jeans before, Old Navy. I am not wearing the skinny jeans.
OLD NAVY: I would like for you to wear them so that I can laugh at you.
KARI: You can’t make me wear them.
OLD NAVY: Soon you will have no choice. Resistance is futile.
KARI: I have also noticed that you like to put the jeans for people my size on the top shelf.
OLD NAVY: I laugh when you try to reach them. And then, after jumping and grabbing them, you still can’t find your size.
KARI: And the ladder, always right there within reach, always with a big sign on it saying I can’t use it.
OLD NAVY: Hee hee hee.
KARI: Did you laugh when I ripped the cardboard off of the front of your fancy display and sorted through approximately 1,000 pairs of jeans and STILL couldn’t find my size?
OLD NAVY: My favorite part was how none of my sales associates offered to help you.
KARI: In any of the stores.
OLD NAVY: Everything is going just as I have planned it.
KARI: Why do we have this problem with jeans, Old Navy? I can find other clothes in my size.
OLD NAVY: I really am conspiring against you.
KARI: Oh! Can I show this to Mike? He thinks I am overreacting.
OLD NAVY: I don’t care who knows. I am out to get you.
KARI: I like this vindication. But it would also be nice to have jeans. It’s . . . kind of cold outside . . .
OLD NAVY: *yawn*
January 25th, 2008 at
after last week’s shopping trip, Old Navy and I are no longer friends.
what kind of voice does ON have? i picture kind of like a Terri Clark voice. OLD NAVY CARES NOT FOR OUR JEAN SIZE!
January 25th, 2008 at
Mike and Old Navy are BFF. He found approximately 1700 items for $40 while I was buried in a pile of jeans. I didn’t even make it to the rest of the store. I got no deals. It was very sad.
(I think Old Navy sounds like a surly teenager.)
January 26th, 2008 at
Old Navy does not love you, Kari. Come to me and I will make it all better.
January 26th, 2008 at
Your jeans are too expensive, Gap!
January 26th, 2008 at
Gap puts his jeans on sale though, and you can snag them for $20 a lot.
i had a good time with you last week Gap, hope to score some more sale rack stuff soon!
January 27th, 2008 at
what happened to you getting my jeans? i thought i was your favorite. why would you switch to mean Old Navy? why? why?
January 27th, 2008 at
Great question, Arizona. I am glad you asked.
You have put more spandex in your jeans than you used to, so I have to wear a belt when I wear your jeans. I was just trying to find a pair that I didn’t have to wear a belt with. Also, it is very hard to find my size sometimes. Also also also, JC Penney is at the mall and not at Friendly Center.
However, as we left Old Navy yesterday, I said, “I am just going to buy the Arizona jeans because they make me feel like I look good.” So thanks for that, Arizona.
January 29th, 2008 at
Try American Eagle. That’s the only place I can find jeans that fit me decently, except for that ONE pair of CKs that I found at Dillard’s (?).
^AE Loose Fit.