Through a Glass, Darkly

I called and visited several stores yesterday in order to get boxes. Boxes that were apparently made of gold. That is how difficult it was to find boxes yesterday. The ABC store is saving boxes for us today, and I have learned the magic trick of getting boxes from Wal-Mart. But McDonald’s, why did you need to be so difficult? Mike called McDonald’s three times asking them to save boxes for him, and every time they said he should call back later and maybe they would have some. And when he called back they’d be like, “Oh, we just threw some away.” Yes, McDonald’s. That’s why we asked you to save them for us. Don’t make Kari come and punch Ronald in the face.

And so, let me sing the praises of Taco Bell and Wendy’s. First, Taco Bell. They didn’t have very many boxes, but they generously gave of what they had. Bless you, Taco Bell. May your gordita sales increase tenfold. And Wendy’s! Wendy’s totally gets extra stars in their crown, because the manager at Wendy’s actually went and emptied out her french fry boxes so that I could have them. Also, she called me “sweetheart.” I told her she was my hero.

And why do we need so many boxes, anyway? Where did we get all of these belongings? These are the deep questions that everyone has when they are moving. What IS this thing and why do I own it? (But don’t throw it away. You’ll need it next month. I promise. That is, you’ll need it . . . if you throw it away. If you keep it, all bets are off.)