My personal style: Never having enough bookshelves.
I am intimidated by people who have a strong sense of personal style, whether it’s their house or their clothes or . . . what else can you have a sense of style about? Your car? My car’s style is “dirty.” I am clearly uninformed about style. My personal style ranges from preppy button-downs to rebellious Doc Martens, depending on the day. (Are Doc Martens still rebellious, or are my flannel shirts and I still stuck in 1994?) When it comes to our house, Mike has a stronger vision for who we are, but that mostly comes from the fact that he worked for a while for an interior designer. Other than that, I think the message our house sends is: “Hand-Me-Down.” One of my dreams is to someday actually buy a couch of our own, rather than having the one that Mike’s sister decided to get rid of. And also, I dream of recovering the infamous Big Chair (which might be happening very soon!). I love the Big Chair, not least because it cost $100 at the Salvation Army (a steal!), but . . . even though its plaid is part of its charm, I think it would be nice if it was a little less . . . plaid.
As we have spent some time organizing and cleaning out over the past few months, I have been getting rid of gifts/hand-me-downs that we’ve kept around for a long time. This makes me feel good, but then I read blogs (I should know better than to do this) by people who have very specific ideas about what they want to put on their walls and in their houses. How does one know these things? Is this because I work outside the home? Would I be better at this if I was at home a little bit more? (Answer: No. You will never be good at it. You are just not wired that way. Thanks for playing, though.)
My guess is that I don’t know how to do these things in part because I don’t like shopping. I am not tempted to buy things because they are cute. I go in with a list, I get the things on my list, and I get out. I don’t even see the cute things, because they are not on my list. As I have mentioned, I don’t like yard sales. I tried, people. I have been to yard sales. I don’t need my own junk, though, so I certainly don’t need someone else’s. If I had to hazard a guess about my own preferences, I think that I can say that I would rather save up my money and get something nice that I have picked out than get something at a yard sale that I have to do something to. Also, I am big on causes. For furniture, this has meant that we saved to buy American made furniture for our bedroom. Which unfortunately costs more than Rooms to Go. Meanwhile, since I do not like to spend money on myself, I would rather just go without.
As we have been house hunting, this whole style thing has caused me great consternation. I want a house that fits us, but I am not sure exactly who we are. I see things like Dooce’s Daily Style and I wonder how anyone has the time to have a daily style. I would run out of cute things about my house after a month or so. And start posting pictures of books. “This book is also awesome! You should totally read it. That is my style recommendation for the day. It will make your brain very stylish.” I don’t do crafts. And I don’t like to spend money. So mostly I go without, and our home continues to be a barren home for hand-me-downs. At least we have a lot of books.
I think that I am still learning who I am and how I define myself. This is one of those areas where I feel very behind the curve. Thinking about my house and my style makes me feel the same way I did when I moved into my dorm room and everyone else had all these awesome gadgety dorm room things and I hadn’t even remembered to bring a rug. I could see very clearly that there was a whole world I did not understand. The question, as always, is whether I let that feeling of inferiority define me, whether I just go along with what everyone else likes, or whether I take the time to decide who I am and what I want. And whether I will have the confidence to believe that who I am and what I want are okay, even if they don’t seem to measure up to other people’s standards.
June 26th, 2008 at
You are not alone. I only have a couch in my living room because a friend at church was unsuccessful at selling it and wanted to stop paying rent at the store where he was listing it. I … have been in my house for three years.
That said, I did go and look at furniture the other day. Of course, I was then, “Man, with that, I could buy…” and started listing all sorts of geeky crap.
I need help. :chuckle:
June 26th, 2008 at
Oh, I feel the same way, Kari. Once I get beyond the basics of wall color, furniture color, occasional patterned throw pillow… I’m done. I see cute stuff, and I think, “That’s cute… but what does one do with it? Isn’t that just more crap to dust?”
My mom gave me permission to throw away the majority of my music boxes the other day (it helped when she told me that my dad gave me most of them… apparently I had assigned other gift-givers to them!!).
I’ve decided my personal style is “clean lines, simplicity, books/DVDs/CDs on shelves, pictures and paintings on walls. Very few knick-knacks.” That’s a style… right?
June 26th, 2008 at
I’m pretty sure that’s my mom’s same personal style: not enough bookshelves. I think they have…6? large bookshelves at their downsized house now, and she talks a lot about having to go through them periodically to week out old ones to make room for new ones.
I don’t feel like I have much of a personal style yet either, mostly because I don’t have the disposable income at this point to do the things I would want to do. And I don’t think you have to be able to pinpoint a specific style name in order to have a personal style - like American Classic, or Retro Chic, or Modern.
I’ve always loved houses that don’t feel so much ‘decorated’ as they feel…I guess, lived in enough to take on the personality of the people who live there. That’s how I feel about your house, anyway.
(the old one at least - can’t wait to see the new place!)
June 26th, 2008 at
That sounds like our style, too, Susan. Melissa said my style is clean lines, not much clutter. (Though that might be because we have no kids.)
And thank you, Andrea, I feel like that is a huge compliment. That’s how we want our house to feel.
June 26th, 2008 at
Kari, I love this post. And I have to tell you, I would be a big fan of the book daily style posts. I would read them. And then I would want to read the book that you recommend. I take your book recommendations very seriously.
For what its worth, I know I am one of those people who has an opinion about what to put on my wall, and what color I want to paint my wall. And I really like yard sales. But I have to tell you: You’ve been on my mind as I’ve been unpacking at this new house. Wanna know why?
Because of all the books. The books that I have and don’t have. I want to have a Kari room…a room filled with stories and far off places…with familiar characters from my childhood and new, grown up discoveries. Books. I want a room with books like you have. With comfy chairs and well worn spines. As much as I want a Kari room, I don’t yet have the books for a Kari room. Because I read Francine Pascal and Beverly Cleary as a child. Madeline L’Engle was a mystery to me. I probably didn’t even spell her name right. But I WANT to read like you do.
I really admire you in that.
July 8th, 2008 at
This is my last long response of the day! I should just write you once a month and respond to all the interesting things you say. I always hope that by responding late, no one else will read my comments but you! My mother is a designer and she loves very contemporary style. Clean lines and no fussiness. When I grew up I felt guilty that I loved wood and and warmth - but I still like the clean lines and personal feel that my mom always uses. I think my houses have always felt warm and welcoming, but it was at fifty something that I discovered that I love the basic philosophy and style of mission/craftsman. We bought some things and refinished a lot of second hand store pieces ( if it’s solid wood and has straight lines, you can always refinish and change hardware) and we use our books as accessories and every day I can’t believe that I live in a lovely house with my own real style!