An obligatory vampire post.
Everyone at my school is reading Twilight. Students, of course. Middle school students were born to read this series. And the teachers? Many teachers have found that, like me, they cannot turn away from the drama. And the principal? Is also addicted. You guys, I am so sad about this. Because everyone is reading them now. And I read them a year ago (well, except for Breaking Dawn, but . . . let me whisper this so I don’t get beaten up by hordes of angry middle schoolers . . . I didn’t really like Breaking Dawn). I was entertained, but I did not love them. And I don’t really want to go see the movie, because it looks so bad. That first trailer was like a terrible Lifetime movie. At least the story is a page-turner. The movie doesn’t even look like it has that going for it. I see pictures of Richard Pattinson, and I think, “How can people not know he’s a vampire? He looks undead!”
But anyway, back to the books. It’s not just my school! The general blogosphere is now reading them now. I am feeling kind of left out of that, too. Emily and I talked about it yesterday and discussed my feelings of left-outedness. And then we talked about things that are spoilers from Breaking Dawn that I will not mention here. Are you finished yet, Emily? Because I would kind of like to discuss the end with you.
I am already left out enough by the fact that . . . I’d better whisper this, too . . . I like Jacob so much more than Edward. Shhhhhhh! Most of the other teachers seem to feel the same way, and we keep talking about how we would like to make all the girls who are reading the books come to a big meeting so we can tell them, Look, it seems romantic that Edward is so into Bella, and at first that might seem really great and all, but if you think about it, their relationship is really codependent. He’s kind of creepy. And controlling. Breaking her car to keep her from seeing her friends is not cool. And also he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep. Sure, he’s good-looking and perfect and all, but WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT’S NOT ALL THAT ROMANTIC FOR A GUY TO SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AT NIGHT. There’s more to relationships than lust, girls. We want more than that for you. Think about it.
(We know they would not listen, but we would just like to say it.)
(Also, Bella is always talking bad about herself, how clumsy she is and how she’s not worthy of Edward, and that drives me freaking crazy. Could we make our protagonist a little bit stronger, please, since all these girls are wanting to be like her? STEPHENIE MEYER: DO IT FOR THE LIBRARIAN.)
Tonight we went and saw Dracula at Triad Stage. They have a new area upstairs that’s a little more informal, with tables. I told Mike and Brian and Sarah that if Dracula came anywhere near our table, that I would be out of there. And he didn’t exactly come near our table, but he was only about two tables away. I am a big chicken, and I got chills in my spine. I do not like scary things. It was more creepy than flat-out scary, but there were vampires eating babies and this one guy ate a rat. And the sound effects were freaky howling and screaming. I was not a fan of the creepiness. (I did, however, enjoy the play.)
So I have to thank Dracula, because he did something that I didn’t think was possible: He made me miss Edward Cullen. Even though Edward is so revoltingly dazzling, etc. Edward might give Bella chills in her spine (of a very different sort, obviously), but he, thankfully, leaves my spine alone.
October 10th, 2008 at
I’m driving to NC to kidnap you and make you go to the movie with Andrea and me.
October 10th, 2008 at
It looks SO BAD. I thought I would definitely go see it until I saw the trailer.
October 10th, 2008 at
PS - I like Jacob better, too. He’s funny, he cares about Bella, and he’s not creepily obsessed with protecting her.
That said, Robert Pattinson is pretty.
I’ve thought so since he was Cedric Diggory, actually.
October 10th, 2008 at
Robert Pattinson is fine! But that makeup they have him in is not!
October 10th, 2008 at
True, true. I’ll probably still go see it, though (Jeff’s sister is more obsessed with it than I am and she’s pretty adamant we’re going).
The new trailer they released yesterday makes it look a bit better, actually. I’m wondering if they realized how bad the first one looked. Heh.
October 10th, 2008 at
I haven’t watched that one yet. I was so disappointed after the first one (and then even more disappointed after Breaking Dawn).
I think Andrea will shun me if I refuse to go, but I would prefer to wait until it’s at the $2 theater. hee hee hee.
October 10th, 2008 at
My biggest complaint about Breaking Dawn was that it was that I think she went overboard with introducing WAY too many new characters WAY too late in the book, and was WAY (jeez, I’m typing “WAY” a lot) too concerned with developing everyone thoroughly, so the last part was rushed. Did we really need to know about every single person who was part of the witness guard? I don’t think so. Go into detail about a few (like Kate, Tanya, and the other two Denalis), but that’s it. More does not equal better.
Plus the “battle” was lame. Come on!
October 10th, 2008 at
Oh, I will shun you for sure! We are going to see this movie, horrid or not! Road trip to Atlanta to see it with Adriene!!!!
(Maybe you can make a spontaneous PSA before the movie starts to the theater-full of teenage girls about how Jacob is better for Bella than Edward, etc - hehe.)
October 10th, 2008 at
Oh, I would pay MONEY to see Kari do a PSA like that. I’ll also take bets on how many buckets of popcorn get tossed in her general vicinity during that speech!
October 10th, 2008 at
SPOILERS IN MY COMMENTS!!
The battle thing was my main complaint. I want a vampire war, Stephenie Meyer. Give me a vampire war! Not some lame-o Bella protects everyone and everyone lives happily ever after. I want some risk! I want someone to die!
But I also had other complaints. Including the fact that Bella’s transformation took approximately 2.7 seconds and that she apparently could transform easily without any problems whatsoever. Well, then, why do I care about her anymore? She is suddenly this perfectly gorgeous undead creature who has a perfect husband and child. The only thing that was going to be any kind of risk was the battle, AND THAT DIDN’T EVEN HAPPEN.
It seemed like Meyer liked her characters too much to actually do anything to them. Which doesn’t make for compelling fiction.
October 10th, 2008 at
ANDREA: I WILL GO WITH YOU IF YOU LET ME DO A PSA.
(IT IS SO ON!)
October 10th, 2008 at
Yeah, one thing I told Jeff that proved to me that Stephenie wasn’t as developed a writer as JK Rowling was that she didn’t have the balls to kill off a character she cared about. Whether you’re an HP fan or not, you have to admit that even though it pained her to do so, Rowling didn’t hesitate to off someone if it helped the story flow better.
SPOILER ALERT:
I mean, jeez. No one on the Cullen’s side was ever in any real danger. I’d love to have seen Kate shock the hell out of Jane. I was hoping she was headed that way when Kate got all pissed off after they killed Irina (who was the only one who died, and well, we didn’t know much about her).
October 10th, 2008 at
DEAL! (Though I may not acknowledge that I know you and sit in a different part of the theater, depending on how riled up the masses get, ok?)
(Also, I totally agree about the battle and SM caring too much about the characters to actually put them in real danger - and the transformation - pretty much all of it.)
October 10th, 2008 at
ROAD TRIP, PEOPLE. COME TO ATLANTA! I HAVE A PLACE FOR YOU TO SLEEP! AND BABIES! DID I MENTION BABIES??
(Mike can come too, Kari. He can help Jeff babysit while we’re gone.)
October 10th, 2008 at
Yeah, I didn’t care about Irina, so that was nothing.
I am going to start working on my PSA. It will include lines such as, “When deciding between the hot guy who cares about you and makes you laugh and the hot guy who is totally a drama queen and is going to kill himself to ‘protect’ you, the choice should be clear. Take it from those of us who are a little bit older and more experienced: YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH A DRAMA QUEEN THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. (Or, uh, undead life.) CHOOSE THE WEREWOLF.”
October 10th, 2008 at
Maybe we should post a list of demands for Stephenie Meyer, and ask her to rewrite the end of Breaking Dawn. Heh.
“Item 1: Kill someone. Please.”
October 10th, 2008 at
I heard there was a gas shortage in Atlanta. I think Adriene is trying to trap us there with her.
October 10th, 2008 at
“Item 1a: Preferably Rosalie.”
October 10th, 2008 at
NO GAS SHORTAGE! IT’S A LIE!
October 10th, 2008 at
BABIES!!! I want to see the babies!!! (Also, Adriene and Jeff, but that should go without saying.)
Also, the GFY girls did a post on the Twilight movie poster, which was awful - Edward just looked consumptive (and dead), not luminous - I don’t know how they’re going to pull that off.
October 10th, 2008 at
Item 2: Renesmee? SERIOUSLY? VETO.
October 10th, 2008 at
Item 3: Have Bella snap for once. Preferably at Rosalie.
October 10th, 2008 at
Item 4: Could something good happen to Leah? Please?
October 10th, 2008 at
Item 4a: I’m thinking a run-in with one of the Cullen’s overpriced cars might be a nice suggestion.
October 10th, 2008 at
Item 4b: Oh, something GOOD. Oops.
October 10th, 2008 at
hee hee hee hee hee.
hee hee hee.
I like how you think.
October 10th, 2008 at
(I think she could take the overpriced car, is what I am saying. She has super strength.)
October 11th, 2008 at
Good one! Or maybe Mike Newton needs some hot she-wolf lovin’.
October 11th, 2008 at
i must be totally left out. i haven’t read any of the books!
October 11th, 2008 at
Adriene: That . . . would be awesome.
Heather: Here’s the thing. Tons of people would say, “OMG, you HAVE to read them!!!!” But I am not one of those people. However, if you are needing a light page-turner, this might be a good choice. As long as you can tolerate high drama.
October 11th, 2008 at
What Kari says is true. They’re not what I would call one of the Great Works of Literature, but they are pretty enjoyable reads.
October 12th, 2008 at
I’m not sure if it’s okay to leave a comment here but yes. I have finished Breaking Dawn. The End. All done. Finished.
I’m still trying to come up with what I think about it all, to be honest.
October 12th, 2008 at
Kari, look at you setting trends again.
October 12th, 2008 at
It is always a total surprise to me which posts get the most comments, whether my blog or anyone else’s. I mean…vampires? Really?
October 12th, 2008 at
[...] Through a Glass, Darkly ยป An obligatory vampire post. (tags: gfmorris_comment) [...]
October 13th, 2008 at
Peter, you fail to grasp the hysteria that the name “Edward Cullen” brings about these days.
October 13th, 2008 at
I am so glad other people like Jacob more than Edward too.