Out of Place.
There’s so much I love about being married that it would take me days to explain it all. I don’t know if there is anything more fulfilling to me to wake up in the morning and realize that I belong to someone, and he belongs to me. After a year of marriage I am still very happy and looking forward to future years to come.
One thing that I may never get used to is my husband’s family gatherings. In my family, parties are quiet and civilized. No one yells or tells dirty jokes or drinks just to get drunk. In my husband’s family, things are quite the opposite. Yesterday my sister-in-law had a huge graduation party at the house. At the beginning I was having a good time but once the booze was flowing and the party became more rowdy I felt very uncomfortable and made frequent trips into the house to “take out the dog”. When Josh asked what was wrong I told him, “I don’t belong here. I just want to go home.”
Living with my in-laws is wonderful in many ways, and I care for them deeply. But a part of me still can’t consider this place my home. As happy as I am living in this apartment with my husband there are lots of days when I want to drive to Sherborn, pull in my parents’ driveway, go inside and curl up on my bed in my room. I’m still most comfortable in my parents’ house. I wonder when that feeling of comfort and support will follow me into the home I now inhabit.
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As you two continue to become one, it’ll be interesting to see how this develops.
That was a beautiful post Kat. I don’t know why it effected me the way it did. How wonderful to know, though, that you will be able to, like Geof said, become one with Josh and make whatever house you two live in your home.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. One point to think about…your feeling of comfort and support may never be felt until you’re home in Heaven. I’ve often felt out of place here. I don’t think you’re feelings are out of line at all. This place is only temporary. Good luck to you and I hope you find that comfort that you’re seeking.
I think once you guys get a place of your own.. something that you take complete ownership in.. that the feeling of being out of place will somewhat subside.. Although the comfortable feeling of the house you grew up in never goes away.. but thank God for that.
thank you for those four comments… they did comfort me! i long for the day when josh and i are able to have our own house and our children can feel that same sense of “home” that i now miss.
As a newlywed nine months into my marriage, it’s encouraging to see that there’s another person out there having similar experiences and feelings. Have you started feeling at home yet? The first time my husband and I ever felt like family was just a couple of weeks ago, when we set up and decorated our first Christmas tree. It faded soon after, but it was beautiful. It’s nice to know that it can happen, and to hope that someday we’ll know in our hearts that we are each other’s family just as surely as we know it in our heads. God bless _your_ family this Christmas.