Laden with Thoughts

I talked to a dear friend tonight, and as much as I loved talking with him it made me miss so many experiences and friendships I had several years ago. I’m sad that those days are over. Is it ok to wish I could do it over again even though I’m so happy about how my life has turned out?

I can’t explain what I mean. Things are a little fuzzy for me today. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s usually the little things that make me happy. Like today when I found two sweaters at Ann Taylor on sale… a black one for $14.99 and a pink one for $29.99 (both marked down from $80.00)! Or how about when a friend from the old Guild Board im’d me to say she had Jason Harrod in her living room? Those are two prime examples of little things that make me feel good.

Sometimes it’s the HUGE things that make me happy. The Boston Red Sox are 6 outs away from being World Series Champions! Ahhhhh! Happiness abounds.

Still, in the midst of happiness, certain questions come to mind. Happiness is wonderful, and a good thing to wish for… but why, oh why, do I so often wish for happiness and not for Joy? Happiness doesn’t last. Happiness fades away. (Watch me spill something on my new pink sweater tomorrow. Seriously. I have a problem.) Does Joy also fade, or is it something I can possess always? If I’m not feeling Joy at the moment, does it still exist within me, lurking, waiting for me to remember it?

When the Red Sox win (please please please) I will be so excited. So happy. But it won’t be enough. I want Joy. It’s embarrassing to admit that I spent more time these last few weeks talking and thinking about the World Series then I spent in the last few months talking and thinking about Jesus.

My friend Dave, when I asked him how things were:

“I was thinking of you the other day when I went in to apply for a loan at the bank… I was thinking, I could just plant a BOMB in here when I leave….. and then I thought, nah, someone in here might be someone else’s Kat.”

Yeah… LOVE that guy.

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold
I’d rather be His than have riches untold
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands
I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hands

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause
I’d rather have Jesus than worldwide acclaim
I’d rather be true to His holy name

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today