Laden with Thoughts

This is the best Monday ever! After working lots of overtime last week and not seeing my children at ALL (I swear Liam knows 50 more words now than he did last week) I asked my supervisor if I could use a floating holiday to stay home today. REQUEST APPROVED! So here I am, in all my unshowered glory, drinking tea and explaining to Liam that he can sit on my lap AFTER I finish my writing and NO you may not put your fingers in my tea and YES I know you have hair and a nose and a belly button.

Love him.

Totally exhausting day. I get the day off on Wednesday, so you’d think I would have had a lovely day playing with the children and bumming around the house. Unfortunately I’ve let all the housework pile up and pile up until the thought of doing laundry or sweeping completely overwhelms me. So, as you can probably imagine, nothing got done today. Liam spent much of the day pushing Maeve off of his toys and onto her head (she’s been crawling for a few weeks and Liam is so resentful that she is suddenly all up in his play area) and Maeve spent much of the day crying and wailing because Liam pushed her off of his toys and onto her head.

It’s been twelve hours of this. Maeve just went to sleep, the precious girl. Liam’s still up watching Curious George and getting into mischief (feeding Seamus cheerios, climbing up bookshelves, demanding dinosaur chicken nuggets instead of the pasta and chicken he was given for dinner).

Wednesdays are made more difficult by the fact that Josh is gone to the office in Boston all day long, and goes straight from work to church for worship team practice. He won’t get home until eleven or so tonight. Being all on my own with two rambunctious (albeit adorable) babies and knowing there’s no relief coming makes the day seem that much more overwhelming.

Sad to say, I look forward to going back to work on Thursdays if only because I know I’ll get a shower, wear decent looking clothes, and talk to grownups during the day - a refreshing change from, “Did you poop? Are you poopie? Did you smear your poop on the wall? No! Don’t smear your poop on Maeve!”

Siiiiiiiiigh.

Twenty more minutes before Liam goes to bed. And all I can think about is the pint of Ben and Jerry’s (Light) Phish Food ice cream in the freezer.

Hey, at least I don’t have to wear a girdle on Wednesdays! Needless to say, I definitely have to wear them on Thursdays after all the ice cream I eat on Wednesday nights…

So… life. Want a quick update?

Our poor Seamus got hit by a car two weeks ago. We have one of those invisible fences in our yard for him, so he wears an electric collar that gives him a shock if he gets too close to the border. We’ve never had a problem, but it turns out that during the first snowstorm of the year the guy who plows our driveway pushed the snow into our yard and sheared the wire (which was buried underground) with the plow. So… fence no worky. So yes, Seamus soon discovered his “luck” and escaped… an hour later he got hit. Actually, he was completely run over by the car, and MIRACULOUSLY he only had a broken rib and bruised lungs. It was a horribly scary night though, and cost us a good deal of money to keep him in the animal hospital for a few days… but we’d never have done anything differently. He’s our first child, our baby. (Even if he is a pain in the ass.) The good news is he’s stealing chicken nuggets out of Liam’s hands again, so we know he’s getting back to normal. Idiot.

Also a subject of some interest (not much interest): I got a new job. The bank I’ve worked at for years was bought out by a CRAPPY BANK and I basically was laid off. Most of the people I loved who worked there have either left voluntarily or have been let go. Luckily I had an amazing boss who told me ahead of time how things were going to be, so I had time to send out my resume and I am now working at a medical facility as a receptionist! Or, as I like to fancy myself, as a “PAM”. Alisa, aren’t you proud?

So yes, that’s life these days… now I will carry on with living my life and be back here in about a month or so. Hehe.

Yeah. Let’s just bypass the whole subject.

Let’s talk about happy things! Like life! And my children! Yay! Happy thoughts!

(As long as you know that I’m actually dying inside. Freakin’ sports.)

So, life. I started a new job last week after being laid off from my previous position at a local bank. The whole situation depressed me at first, because the bank was my favorite place to work and I had worked there for over four years until the company was bought out and new management decided I wasn’t worth keeping. Luckily, I had a brilliant boss who kept me informed and saw the writing on the wall, giving me enough warning to allow me to send out my resume and get an interview at a medical facility even before I was laid off. I got the job and started on Monday. And the best part… I got a call last week from the head of Human Resources at the bank, asking me if I would be interested in interviewing for an administrative assistant position. I was able to call back and inform HR that I had already accepted a job offer from a different company. Such a sweet moment for me. Mwahahaha. So far, so good… the new job is keeping me busy (which I like) and giving me great benefits (which I adore). The only downfall: less time with Liam and Maeve.

Maeve started crawling last week, by the way. She is so strong. I am such a proud Momma.

Also. Liam counts all the time. He’s 2 years old, and he walks around saying “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!” Math genius!

(It’s possible I’m overreacting. But I think, as the mother, I’m allowed.)

So anyway. No bad sports news. New job. Great kids. No losing sports teams that I know of. Everything’s just fine.

I spend a lot of time feeling unworthy of the gifts I have. And I spend a lot of time feeling like a failure. If you read this blog at all, you know that.

Today I decided I’ve had enough. Enough of the whining and the self-deprecation. I know that in life, sometimes, I’ll mess up. Sometimes I won’t feel like a good person. Sometimes I won’t feel like a good wife, or mother, or cook, or house cleaner. But today… today?

Today I feel full. Full of love. Full of pride. Full of happiness! Let me give you a few reasons why:

My boy loves to play PEEKABOO! But more than that…

My boy loves to read. All. The. Time.

My little girl can almost crawl, and she is a proud little thing. I want to pinch her nose.

And you know what else she’s proud of? She’s got some junk in the trunk. Go white girl!

And last, but certainly not least, I have a man who loves me. I have a man who loves our children. I have a man who loves cashmere hats.

Yes, I am a happy woman.

Yup, meant to post about Christmas on December 26th. Whoops. It’s been a rough month… more on that later.

Well, first of all, this was Liam’s second Christmas. Last year he was only 11 months old, and although he had a grand old time ripping apart tissue paper he didn’t really know what was going on. This year he was so excited about our tree and the “PWETTY WIGHTS” on all the houses, and he was head-over-heels in love with all of his presents (especially his Elmo coloring book). It didn’t take long, however, for Liam to decide what his favorite thing about Christmas is: Candy Canes.

Liam has a candy cane obsession. In fact, it’s probably some kind of candy cane disorder.

Every morning Liam would request candy canes for breakfast. Each time we went to a new house he would scour the Christmas tree, looking for stray candy canes he could devour. He still asks for candy canes after dinner! The poor guy. He’s not aware that Christmas is over until next year. And I really can’t fathom the amount of cavities he’d have by his third birthday if we continued to let him eat candy canes. He’s so damn cute, though. I wish I had a picture of him chomping on a candy cane, but he ate those things so darn quickly that we just couldn’t catch him at it!

This year we stayed at home for Christmas, which was a huge blessing. Not only did the kids get to play with their toys all day (and take their normal naps, hooray) I made a delicious roast beef dinner with all the fixin’s. My family and Josh’s family came over for dinner and dessert, and we really had a pleasant time. My homemade eggnog was a hit! So yeah… it was good. By the end of the day I was more tired than I’ve ever been but I was also extremely satisfied with myself, and with the great day our family had spent together. I look forward to more years of new traditions and joyful family gatherings.

Well, it’s almost the end of the year. All the faithful bloggers are posting their end-of-year-lists, such as “My Favorite Music of 2007″, and, “My Favorite Books of 2007″. I’m not going to do those things. You know why? Because I really like you, and I don’t want to force you to read all about Elmo sing-a-longs and every single book about counting apples I read this year. I doubt you’d enjoy my play-by-play of Baby Einstein’s “Baby Beethoven” dvd. It’s unlikely you would still be reading once I expounded upon, in great detail, the joys and sorrows experienced by Thomas the Tank Engine and his rascally caboose.

Perhaps you would like to hear Liam sing a song from Dragon Tales. No?

Would you like to witness firsthand the interpretive dance Liam has created to go along with Jingle Bells? Are you sure?

Wait! Come back here. I won’t subject you to any more of this. At least, not in this post.

Where was I? Oh yes. End-of-year-lists. Because I didn’t see any movies or read any exciting new novels this year, and because I didn’t have money to buy new albums or time to listen to them, I give you my End of 2007 List:

Things I Did Not Expect to Happen in 2007.

1. I did not expect my husband to take a picture of my placenta (in all it’s bloody glory) after Maeve was born in May.
1a. No, I will not share the picture with you.
2. I did not expect Seamus to vomit heaping piles of who knows what all over my brand new braided living room rug. The day after it was delivered.
2a. Yes, the vomit looked slightly similar to the picture Josh took of my placenta.
2b. No, as I already told you, I will NOT share the placenta picture with you.
3. I did not expect to buy or wear a girdle at any point during this year. Or any year, for that matter.
4. I did not expect the Boston Red Sox to WIN THE F’ING WORLD SERIES!
4a. No, I will not shut up about it.
4b. What’s that? Come a little closer and say that to me. No, it’s fine. I just want to show you something.
5. I did not expect the New England Patriots to have a 14-0 start to the season.
6. I did not expect the Boston Celtics… yes, fine. You get it.
7. I did not expect I would drink as many margaritas this year as I have. Consider it making up time from the 2 years I was pregnant.
8. I did not expect our bedroom hallway to still be cluttered with boxes from last year’s move. (Same goes for the basement.)
8a. I really, really don’t know why I didn’t expect that. Everyone who ever reads this BLOG expected that.
9. I did not expect Liam to become a rabid Kanye West fan.
10. I did not expect to switch from Starbucks Eggnog Lattes to Peppermint Mocha Lattes.
10a. If you know me, you know this is a big deal. A HUGE deal.
10b. Part of this switch is rooted in my fear of angering my favorite baristas by forcing them to steam eggnog. The poor things.

So there is my 2007 list! In all seriousness, though, I had a terrific year. Maeve was born with no complications, and now she is 6 months old and a beautiful addition to our family. (Liam is even starting to get used to the fact that DA BABEE will be sticking around for a while.) My family (including my poor dear Josh, who has put up with me for yet another year of crazy marriage) has been happy and healthy this year, and I couldn’t ask for more.

Happy end of 2007. Bring on 2008!

Tonight, I am happy. My beautiful children went willingly to bed without complaint or temper tantrum. My husband cooked dinner (eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, toast!) without being asked. Life couldn’t get much better.

And the Red Sox are kicking butt. Indeed, my friends, they are kicking ASS. And although I would love them and support them even if they didn’t kick ASS, it makes it so much easier to love and support them when they are on the eve of their 2nd WORLD SERIES VICTORY in 3 years.

There’s not much more to report. Except that life is wonderful. Blah blah.

When I was pregnant this time around, I often found I really wasn’t all that hungry during the day, and would just eat small healthy snacks. No big meals, no dessert, no soda, no chips and dip. Happily, I only gained 24 lbs throughout the entire 40 weeks.

Now that I’m UNPREGNANT, I’ve been a lot hungrier. And I’m drinking alcohol again, which doesn’t help my calorie intake. And right now I’m eating cheesecake. Help!

I have 10 lbs to lose before I’m at the right weight for me (where I’ll feel good about myself and actually fit into my post-pregnancy clothes - right now I’m squeezed into my outfits like a polish sausage). Wish me luck.

A good friend of mine (my maid of honor, actually) had a baby girl in April. She sent me an email today about the joys of being a mother… including the first time her daughter laughed.

When Liam laughed for the first time it was the best noise I had ever heard. It’s so amazing to see them learning and experiencing the fun things in life. For example, yesterday Liam and I spent an hour watching a housefly buzz around the living room. Liam was ENTHRALLED. He chased it around, pointing and shouting, “DA BUGGIE! DA BUGGIE! IT’S DA BUGGIE!” Seriously… it was the best part of my day.