Laden with Thoughts

My favorite birthday present from the last couple of years is the U2 video iPod, given to me by my generous parents and husband. I confess, although I am crazy about how useful and fun the iPod is, the true reason I love it is that it has the signatures of Bono, The Edge, Adam, and Larry etched onto it.

So. Fabulous.

These days I’ve been listening to my music a lot more than I’ve been listening to the radio, which is a big change from previous months. (Partly because Liam has started to really understand language and repeats whatever he hears over and over again… it was time to stop listening to “It’s just you and your hand tonight”.) It’s been nice to hear songs and albums I haven’t listened to since high school and college, some of which inevitably bring back both silly and serious memories from those days. I love that music evokes strong feelings in me, and reminds me of people and places I’d long since forgotten.

For example, “Flood” by Jars of Clay is a reminder of my first high school youth group missions trip, where I realized I truly wanted to dedicate my life to Jesus. (It was also where I became friends with Josh. We started dating 6 months later.) My friends and I would cram ourselves into 15 passenger vans each morning, excited and nervous about the work we would be doing that day, and sang “BUT IF I CAN’T SWIM AFTER 40 DAYS AND MY MIND IS CRUSHED BY THE CRASHING WAVES” at the top of our lungs.

I’m feeling a little stuck musically now, however. I still enjoy all my old music, but I really haven’t bought much new music since being married and having children, and I’d love to get back into the habit of finding new artists and albums that move and uplift me. Plus, I’m making new memories now, and in ten years I hope to have albums that I can take out and listen to that remind me of these days with my children.

So, kind readers, would you offer suggestions of what music I should add to my iPod? What music moves you, encourages you, makes you feel a certain way when you listen to it?

I love Christmas-time! I love sending and receiving cards, wrapping gifts, looking at the decorations on our street, and of course… decorating our home and tree. This year will be especially fun because it’s Liam’s first Christmas!

Yay! Hope you all are having a great few weeks… enjoy them.

…is coming to my house. That is all.

*dance of joy*

My husband posted a few links to some songs my worship band recorded back in January. We’re planning on releasing a full-length album of acoustic hymns. If you’d like to listen, here’s a sampling. I’m the lead female vocal, while Josh plays the bass guitar.

(Please note that these were released to the general public against my will. Enh. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, as the saying goes. Enjoy!)

Fairest Lord Jesus, Ruler of all nature
O Thou of God and man the Son
Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor
Thou, my soul’s glory, joy and crown

Fair are the meadows, fairer still the woodlands
Robed in the blooming garb of spring
Jesus is Fairer, Jesus is purer
Who makes the woeful heart to sing

Fair is the sunshine, fairer still the moonlight
And all the Twinkling starry host
Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer
Than all the angels heaven can boast

Beautiful Savior, Lord of all nations
Son of God and Son of Man
Glory and honor, praise, adoration
Now and forever more be Thine

You are fairer still, today
You are fairer still, today
Precious Jesus, Lord, You are adored
As we worship, as we worship

Many’s the time I ran with you down
The rainy roads of our old town
Many the lives we lived in each day
And buried altogether

Don’t laugh at me
Don’t look away
You’ll follow me back

With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped and legs of stone
You’ll knock on my door and up we’ll go
In white light
I don’t think so
But what do I know?

I know you think I’m holding you down
And I’ve fallen by the wayside now
And I don’t understand the same things as you
But I do

Don’t laugh at me
Don’t look away
You’ll follow me back

With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped and legs of stone
You’ll knock on my door and up we’ll go
In white light
I don’t think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?

I know.

~ Keane - Hopes and Fears

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold
I’d rather be His than have riches untold
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands
I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hands

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause
I’d rather have Jesus than worldwide acclaim
I’d rather be true to His holy name

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today

The concert this evening was excellent. There’s something about Jason Harrod’s music that - what’s that expression - tugs on my heart strings. Even though I’ve heard him play many times, I can’t get enough.

I was too shy to talk to him though. The same thing happened when Derek Webb came to town. And now I’m thoroughly depressed that I didn’t get to tell him how cool I think he is.

Sigh. He has another show on Wednesday night. Maybe between now and then I can get the courage up to say, “Hey, great show. Will you marry me?”

(Just kidding, dear.)

Josh and I are both involved in the worship ministry at our church, The First Congregational Church of Hopkinton. On our worship team, Josh plays the bass guitar and I am the lead female vocalist. Our team leads the congregation in worship once a month for both Sunday morning services.

Music has always been one of my greatest passions. I am so thankful God chose to give me some talent in the singing department, and I don’t consider it a coincidence that singing makes me more happy than most other things in my life. When I close my eyes and sing to God I find myself transported to a little world where only He and I exist. Singing is also an effective way of focusing my mind during devotions or prayer when I find my mind is wandering. There’s some kind of power involved with singing (and music in general) that I can’t explain.

After a service where my team has led worship, I inevitably have a few people come up to me and tell me how much they enjoyed the worship music that morning, or how a certain song encouraged them in some way. It’s so wonderful to hear how God changes people through my service to Him, so I look forward to getting that type of feedback. I’m sure that sometimes there are people who didn’t particularly enjoy the worship music that morning, but usually I don’t have them come up and say that to my face. (And that’s just fine with me!)

One piece of encouragement I often hear which challenges me each time I hear it is: You did such a wonderful job this morning. I could totally see the love of Jesus in your face.

Wow.

That floors me. What a precious gift God has given me! And what a burden. Sometimes I think these people see me as some kind of sweet, pure, young woman with an incredible relationship with Christ, whereas I see myself as an immature, impure, young girl with a struggling relationship with Christ. Obviously, they don’t know me apart from what they see of me on Sunday mornings. But the question remains in my mind: if these people saw me during the week, would they see the love of Jesus in my face?

Lord, let me be more like the woman these people see: a young woman with the love of Jesus shining through her.

Springtime Indiana
You are sleeping by my side
Here across the miles we ramble
Past where the road divides
I wish I could tell you…but I just can’t find the words

I’ve never been good with my thoughts
And even worse with my words
But you read like familiar poetry
That I have never heard…
I wish I could tell you…but I just can’t find the words

So let’s move across the ocean
And pitch the tent stakes wide
You be the one to come after me
And I will be your bride…
I wish I could tell you…but I just can’t find the words

I am all at once courageous
I am all at once afraid
It came over me like nightfall
Like a freight train
I can’t seem to hold it in
But I can’t seem to run away

You came in without notice
And settled all around my heart
Took up residence in all the places
That were vacant and dark…
I wish I could tell you…but I just can’t find the words

Springtime Indiana
You are starting to wake
And I am laden with the thoughts
Of everything I mean to say
I wish I could tell you,
But I just can’t find the words.