Westminster Confessions

Little almost-two-year-old Maggie is more likely to call for her older sibling with “Brother!” (actually, it’s more like “Brudda”) than his given name, “Ethan.” She’s really lucky. What a great gift to have an older brother. Ethan and Maggie have lots of fun together. And as they get older you can already see how Ethan looks out for Maggie, and how Maggie enjoys the attention and security she gains from her brother’s presence. And Ethan teaches her useful things too. Like how to dance and the proper way to eat a french fry.

Three (going on thirteen)-year-old Éva has a younger brother. Seámus has more love and affection showered on him than it seems his little body can endure. And while he’ll always be the “little brother” I don’t think he will be smaller than Éva for too many more years. Then it will be payback time! Just like Ethan and Maggie, Éva and Seámus have that special gift of each other which will grow and mature over the years and which will go through changes, but hopefully will always be a treasured relationship.

I never had a brother, older or younger. Well, I did have a big brother in high school (O John H., where art thou?). He deemed it necessary to take me under his wing and see to it that I had a big brother who would teach me the things that I should know. Like how to drink a proper cup of tea. And how to eat at a fancy French restaurant (in case someone ever took me to one… which hasn’t happened yet… are you listening, Mark?). He and a couple of other hardy male souls taught me how to drive (no one in my family at that time had a car or even had a license).

I’m grateful for my family and that we all enjoy being with each other. I used to assume this was natural. I’ve since learned that, unfortunately, it is less common than one would expect. This becomes more noticeable at holiday seasons, like the one we just celebrated, when families seem to be more obligated to spend time with each other (whether they want to or not). It’s sad to hear about families that can’t stand to be with each other. I’m not exactly sure why my three sisters and I have navigated time more gracefully than others (although, we, like any family, have our ups and downs). I’d like to think it is because of something my mother used to say to us over and over. I can still hear her voice in my head, “Friends will come and go. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your sisters. They will be with you for all your life, so you better invest in getting along with them.” And we have. I treasure each of my three sisters and they are good friends. I’ve tried to instill that same proverb into my own daughters. And Mark and I just enjoyed a week of fun with both our daughters, their husbands, and the four grandkids (and one more on its way) up in Maine… in one house… ok, two bathrooms helped.

But what if you don’t have a big or little brother/sister? Or what if your family only endures times spent together? Is there only despair and wishful thinking left? Fortunately, no. Because no matter what our physical family is like, we have a heavenly Father. And his family is more awesome than any other. In his family believers will not only find older brothers and sisters, but younger ones as well. The joy of companionship, the sharing of wisdom and knowledge, the security of looking out for someone (and them looking out for you), the fun of sock fights and sledding and sharing the same cup of cocoa and staying up all night together that regular siblings have is magnified with our spiritual family. By being “in Christ” and part of his body, we are united with a community of believers. It’s not something we have to organize or make happen… it already exists! We just need to recognize it and start living like we are part of the family. Of course, family is family, and close relationships will still require work, commitment, and patience. After all, we’re still pretty messed up a lot of the time. But that’s the whole point of being in this spiritual family. By living with each other in the power of the Holy Spirit and encouraging, challenging, exhorting, and comforting one another, we are instruments in the Redeemer’s hands in each other’s lives. Instruments for change and growth and becoming more Christlike. I don’t know about you, but for me the effort is worth it. Really worth it.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 9th, 2006 at 1:54 am and is filed under General, Generations (family stuff). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.