the glory and the horror

I am amazed at the grace of God at work in my life. I am amazed at the things that I learn too late. I am amazed at the way God works through families. I am honored to be a part of a legacy, one I pray will last far beyond me.

My grandmother was an amazing woman, and I wish I had the chance to know her better. I praise Christ for His grace in her life, and how she loved all of us in her family. There are things that I’m just learning about her now, which are incredible indicators of the character that God had been growing in her life for 30+ years. I am honored to have been the recipient of the overflow of some of that.

She was particularly generous, hospitable, meek, and gentle. I don’t think I ever heard her complain or get angry at anyone, even through the pain of her final few days. I am so blessed to have seen her and talked to her during that time, even if it was only a couple days. She could have been angry at God, shaking her fist at Jesus, asking “Why?” But she didn’t. She was even worried about being a burden to others then, and even asked my parents and the aunts and uncles to buy candy for the nurses during her short stay in the hospital for all their help. Even then, in pain, just weeks before her homecoming, she was thinking of others.

I am jealous of her. She is doing in full what I can only do in part.

Glory to God.

Just thoughts.

It has been a hairy last week or so. I don’t even know what to begin to think about some things. My dad and I have been having an ongoing conversation about me, my feelings, and what they are or are not, and my limited “abilities” to be empathetic in a way others can understand, or even in a way that I can understand. *sigh* I know that I’m not the most emotional person, and probably one of the least, in terms of visible, outward expression.

What does it mean to be compassionate and empathetic?

I sure don’t know, and it seems clear to me that others see that in me as well.

Just thoughts.

I need to do something similar to Isaac’s http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~isaacf/books.html

I finally finished The Majesty of Man, and I was very satisfied. It took me a while, but it was worth it. I tried to update the sidebar, too, to reflect this latest achievement. The book does a great job of taking you back to what God made man to be, what man became after the fall, and what man will be one day. There are enormous implications for me, as a future doctor, in how I think of my patients, how I interact with them, and what I choose to do or not do with/for them. The book has been a great reminder of some very important aspects of being human that have come up in a couple conversations with some friends at school. That we are more than the sum of random diffusion of molecules, that genetic determinism is bunk, that humanity can both show great promise and great evil. It reminded me that man is like no other creature on earth, and that God’s purpose for man is one of epic proportions – to walk with Him, and how we have fallen so far, and how we yearn for the day when what is amiss will be restored to its initial perfection.

Reese and I went to Toys’R'Us today to shop for our Angel Tree kid, and I can’t believe how many toys are out there now. And there are some cool toys. Big GI Joes manning AA guns. Legos are impressively detailed now, losing some of the creativity from older days of those 4×2, 4×1, 2×2, etc. dimpled blocks. Lots of board games, but lots of classics still. Scrabble (in Spanish, too!) was one I noticed. Only $10! I remember playing that and Boggle growing up. We played pretty nerdy games. I think we did well for our kid, though. I hope he likes the gifts.

I found Desiring God Ministries (again) yesterday, and started listening to a Piper sermon while studying, and found that it went REALLY well Check out one of my FAVORITE sermons of all time. Kathleen and I listened to it while studying last night. It was very cool. So is the OneDay2000 talk.

Doing Missions When Dying Is Gain by John Piper

He tells stories well. I want to die like the men he talks about in that sermon – what better way to go than while declaring the glory of God to those who do not recognize it yet?

No more class for the rest of the year. Just 3 tests, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and then I’m ALL done with my first semester of medical school. It’s been quite nice. Dr. Bishop, an internal med prof/ethics course director thinks I should consider taking some time off to pursue my philosophical/bioethics interests, either in the form of an MPH/PhD/other advanced degree or this one AMA ethics/policy internship. We’ll have to see. That would require some thinking and prayer.

I’m trying not to be a slack blogger, really!

Just thoughts.

The Ultimate *Which Harry Potter Character are You?* Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

Taking these tests make me wonder sometimes. Is there enough information in those novels to really come up with things like this?

And so of course, here’s another quiz

Which Lord of the Rings Character are you?

I didn’t post the image because it’s rather sloppy, although the test is kinda fun. I came out as Legolas the first time, and Aragorn the 2nd. There’s another test online that I took, but the questions didn’t seem as good. I came out as Celeborn on that one (he’s Arwen’s grandpa – a fairly minor character).

Just thoughts.

I love Christmas. Actually, I think I love Advent more than Christmas.

There’s just something about the anticipation and wonder. Something that I can’t get over, something that I’ve always loved since I was little. It was always so exciting, getting ready for it. It was amazing to think about the waiting that the Jews did. It was amazing to imagine what it must have been like for the shepherds after they heard from the angels, but before they got to the manger. What it must have been like for the magi as they were traveling, en route, but not knowing what they were going to find exactly.

Getting the tree. Picking it out, chopping it down, tying it down to the car. Decorating the tree. Decorating the house. The smell of mom baking more cookies than we could eat. Caramel peanut popcorn. Yum. Sleeping by the fireplace on Christmas Eve.

Just thoughts.