the glory and the horror

Interesting websites:

Christian Counterculture
Antithesis

One particularly interesting article from Antithesis: Unorthodoxy by Jack Crabtree. A snippet:

“The nature of wisdom is such that it cannot grow and increase within us unless we “do business with it” — unless we are overcome by a holy passion to have more and more of it; unless we are driven to use the wisdom we do have in order to acquire more of the wisdom we do not yet have. We cannot grow in wisdom if we dig a hole in the ground, bury the truth we know in that hole, and guard it lest anyone take it away from us.”

and

“But some of us are evil. Like the slave in the story, we see no real value in possessing the treasure God has entrusted to us; we are utterly unmotivated to get any more. We don’t care enough about the wisdom God has given us to want any more. We lack the ambition to be wise; for true understanding has no intrinsic worth to us. Our desires are given to other things — to the pleasures and joys of this world. It matters not whether we understand the meaning and purpose of our existence so long as we can basically enjoy it along the way — whatever it is for.”

One test down. I missed a really stupid easy question on the identification part. GRRRR. That was 0.5% of my final grade on that one question, and since I’m sitting on the border between an A and a B+, each bit counts. And lest anyone who knows me well think I have left my ways and transformed into a nasty old grade grubber, the reason I am anal about this grade is because I’ve come to the conclusion that grades ought to reflect learning, especially here in medical school. However, the way things are going, especially in certain classes here at UT Southwestern, like Neuro and Genetics, learning and the grade are not related in any way. For example, I bombed Genetics. I got a C. That sucks, not because it’s a C, but because I know the stuff backwards and forwards, and was screwed on the final exam somehow. I still don’t know how. Regardless, That C does not reflect my knowledge or mastery of the material. Neuro, on the other hand, is so badly taught and organized, I have no pretenses of getting a good grade there. Cell Bio, the test I just took, is something that I worked hard in, and studied, and I actually enjoyed this class the most out of any class so far. Anyway, I would like my grade to reflect my actual knowledge, which I feel is in the A level. Anyway, that’s my thing for medical school grades.

I was reading I Thessalonians 1 the last few days, just reading it over and over, and meditating on it, and I’ve come to appreciate how much Paul really believes in the Body of Christ. “We give thanks to God always for all of you…” “Brethren beloved by God…” “You also became imitators of us and of the Lord… so that you became an example to all the believers…” “For the word of the Lord has sounded forth from you…” The entire chapter is about the way God has used people to propagate the Christian faith. It’s about how overjoyed and ecstatic Paul is to hear about the church in Thessalonica and the way that they have been faithful in both deed and word, both living and proclaiming, not out of their own strength, but in the Spirit. And they are all looking together, as one Body, to the return of the Lamb. I think this may very well be one of my newest favoritest verses. It just resonates with me. It sums the spiritual life up well. I’m so glad to have been reading the the last few days.

Especially after some pretty lame times with God in recent weeks. Not so much that the times with God were lame, but more like I was lame. It was just one of those stretches, those funks, that you know you’re in, and you hate it, and you really know something is off, out of sync, spiritually. That’s what most of this year so far has been. That’s not a good thing. I mean, there have been moments of great times, especially at church, but then during the week… I don’t know what it is. My attitude towards school hasn’t been the best, particularly with regards to Neuro.

I have a roommate now, though, and so that’s good At least I’m pretty sure of it. Not totally definite, but close.