the glory and the horror

From a talk earlier this year by someone from DTS at a SCF meeting:

Missions is active love of Christ channeled through the lives of willing believers directed toward those who have no current witness for Christ.

Missions is incarnation

(1) incarnating love IS NOT sin well-managed

(2) incarnating love IS NOT indifference

(3) incarnating love IS NOT performance

(4) incarnating love IS motivated by God’s love received

(5) incarnating love IS presenting a communal/corporate portrait of Christ

(6) incarnating love IS being a diligent learner

***************

When I take a deep breath, and step back to examine my “ministry” here at school, I wonder about whether or not people would say that I am living a life that shows them the incarnate Christ.

Another classical Christian school here in Dallas, where I know some of the students from a family at church.

The Covenant School

The thing with classical Christian schools that gets me right now is the cost. it can cost 6-8k per year, per student. That’s not chump change.

Classical Christian Education revisited

The topic of the trivium and classical Christian education came up again tonight. My friend Kristen is interviewing at a couple CCE schools down in Austin for a teaching position, and so we got to talking about that. My roommate knows a family here in Dallas whose kids go to Providence, a classical Christian school here. I think I’m going to try to visit and sit in, just to see what it’s like. I’ve read a fair amount about the teaching philosophy, and I’ve heard some stories from Kristen, because she volunteers in a school out where she is in NC, and some of the stories she’s told me about the things taught, the manner in which they’re taught, and the overall atmosphere of the school really intrigue me. The kids seem to be truly eager to learn, the administration seems to care deeply about the children and their overall educational experience. Their leadership seems to show a lot of dedication to making this type of education available to all, regardless of socioeconomic background, especially this one school in Austin that requires half of their students to be on scholarship (I assume because of financial need – Kristen didn’t specify).

Kathleen and I got to visit the Chamberlins on Easter Sunday, play some golf, and enjoy their company and hospitality. I thoroughly enjoy the company of slightly more aged folks, if only for their broader outlook and greater range of experiences. It’s almost as if time has allowed them to sift out the less important things in life, and allow the truly valuable to rise to the surface.

Things will get crazy busy in a couple weeks. I have 4 tests in the month of May – 1 physiology, 1 behavior, 1 endocrinology, and 1 embryology. Crazy busy. But then, it’ll all be over, and I will have passed my first year of medical school. Not a moment too soon.

Urbana on-line registration has started. I hope to be able to go I hope to see some of you faithful readers there (who are my faithful readers anyway?).

I turned 24 last Thursday. I have a friend who was born about 3 hours before me who just happens to also be a classmate and fellow lover of philosophy and working through the hard issues of the faith. It’s quite fun to have him as a friend and classmate. So Kathleen and his wife threw a party together for the two of us. At first, they had wanted to surprise us, but they decided it was too hard to keep it a secret, especially since they initially wanted to throw the party on Good Friday, and I wanted to go to the Good Friday service at Northwest that night We ended up having it Thursday night, before everyone took off for the Easter weekend to be with their families.

I also found out that a friend of mine in east asia was baptized this past weekend! I am so excited to hear about that! How cool is that? To be baptized on Easter. Wow. Such symbolism and identification.

During the Good Friday service, it was weird. I felt very callous, or hardened, or not very sorrowful, or something that’s a combination of all three and then some, about my sin. I know I sin, I can name the sins, and I know I’ve done it. I hate my sin, and I wish I would not sin. But I didn’t feel particularly crushed about it. Not that I don’t want to admit the sin. I know it’s sin, I’m willing to call it sin, and I know, at least in my head, and as cliche-ish as this sounds, it hurts God, and it’s my sins that made the death and resurrection of Christ necessary for my restoration to right communion with God. But I still felt… empty of strong emotion. I couldn’t really put my finger on it that night, but I thought about it over the weekend, and these are the best words I can come up with.

Easter Sunday, on the other hand, was incredible. I think I like songs about heaven the most, and then a close 2nd, songs about the cross and the resurrection. When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, Christ the Lord is Risen Today, He Arose, The Old Rugged Cross, Alas and Did My Savior Bleed, At the Cross. I am moved beyond words by songs like these – telling of the great glory of the King, telling of the great story of redemption, of restoration, of salvation, of the wrong made right, of justice completed, mercy given, and grace extended. Songs like that evoke a depth of emotional response that I wish I had when contemplating my sin and depravity.

Reese and I had a GREAT conversation the other day about rationality, science, and the Christian applications of those things. It all came from a conversation about the Star of Bethlehem presentation that this one A&M prof does.

Anyway, I was just wondering why it is that we feel like we have to find a scientific, rational explanation for the star, instead of simply saying that we believe there was something above Bethlehem. for example, what’s to stop God from simply revealing the glory of His fingertip, and pointing at Bethlehem? This led to a discussion of other areas where American Evangelical Christianity seems to feel compelled to try to “prove” to the larger culture/society that what we believe is “reasonable” and not foolish – for example, creation science, teaching creation alongside evolution in schools, finding noah’s ark, etc. Not that I’m opposed to any of these things in and of themselves, but merely that we seem to be dedicating a lot of money and resources and effort and energy these sorts of battles, when we barely ever hear about the massive persecution of the
church in Sudan.

While I believe in a literal 7 day creation, and I feel that that interpretation is important and consistent with orthodoxy and good hermeneutics, I also feel like the money/energy/effort expended in fighting some of that sort of stuff in court could be channeled into other areas which would be greater exercises of faith, and more in line with the overall character of God, and our call to reflect that character to the world. Not that we should stop scientific inquiry, or that Christians shouldn’t care about such issues, but merely that perhaps our western, post-enlightenment culture values rational explanations a bit too much, and the church has been “suckered” a little (or maybe a lot) into that. I can see a problem with going too far to the side of trying to explain everything in the Bible with science, rationality, etc. But I can’t really see a real problem, at least not Biblically, with a little more blind faith. Not stupid blind faith in the sense that “Because the Bible doesn’t explicitly say the earth is round, it must not be round,” but more along the lines of the faith which approaches acts of God as what they claim to be – acts of God. Not that God can’t use physical laws to interact and tweak things – perhaps the star of Bethlehem was really a syzygy as some believe, and that would make sense. But it doesn’t have to be. And physics can only take us so far – modern science cannot, and should not, be used to try to explain (to Christians) or explain away (to non-Christians) all the miracles of God.

Kathleen put it well – why are we trying to subject some miracles to the scrutiny of modern physics, and confine it to the box of modern science and rational explanations and not others? What happened to regular old miracles – infinite God getting involved in a finite world, and actually breaking rules – like making 5 loaves and 2 fish turn into a MASSIVE feast, with more leftovers than they had food to start with? Not that Christianity is just stupid blind faith, but what is the faith of a child, if not some degree of just good old trust that what God said He did, He did? Because the logical push for rational explanations begins to try to put everything under the umbrella of scientific explanation, and that’s not such a good thing – we begin to lose the mystery, the wonder, and of course, the faith. After all, ultimately, science has shown that a dead man cannot come back to life. It seems that our American church is a bit preoccupied with being reasonable to the world.

Anyway, it was just a random thought that popped into my mind one afternoon. After a test, too, no less. HA! Shows you what my mind actually enjoys crunching. I’m open to suggestion. This is far from a set, firm, decided thing in my mind. If anyone has any ideas as to what the counter-argument might be, let me know. Is there something wrong with a more extreme, less obviously reasonable faith? Are we just too proud to say/admit to the world, that yes, our faith appears foolish to you? Why do we feel compelled to explain, rationally, as much as we can, before then turning to faith?

I Corinthians 1:18-31 (NASB)

For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,
“I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE,
AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE.”
Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. For indeed Jews ask for signs and Greeks search for wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness, but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.”

Study, study, study.

Summer plans – drive back to CA – with Kathleen – family time, monterey, alcatraz, wine country, hang with sam and greg (and susan), Ev and kathy, emily, and whoever else wants to hang out, like Jackie, probably. two graduations. sister’s and brother’s. Andrew’s is down in LA. Should we leave straight from there to cut down on driving? Then preceptorship with Dr. Fine. Then drive to Colorado and Wyoming to visit Kathleen’s family. Then 2nd year. I also need to take the GRE and write that application essay this summer to. Gotta read more of Szasz stuff. Especially his real articles in the fancy peer-reviewed journals. They should have more substance than his smaller articles on his website.

I may start giving in to the siren call of caffeine. I think I’ve already started. I bought my first 12 pack of Dr. Pepper a couple weeks ago. Granted, there’s still at least 5-6 in the fridge, and I didn’t drink all of the others, but that’s still more soda than I’ve had in a long time.

Sister has almost made her decision about colleges. How cool is that?

For some reason, all this physiology feels a lot tougher now than it did when I first learned it a couple weeks ago. But this stuff is definitely more fun to study than neuro. And it’s really neat to see how well we’re put together. God’s quite good this stuff. We’re also pretty darn fragile, too.

The trend continues – the less sleep I get, the better I seem to do on tests. The last test I took, I slept 7 hours, and barely made it over 80. The tests I slept 3-4 hours for last semester, I got into the low 90s, at least.

I spent about 5 hours in the Parkland Emergency Department tonight. Quite the experience. Similar to the Highland ER, but I think Parkland’s ER is nicer, and better organized. And the docs and nurses are much friendlier. Or at least they seemed that way. It probably makes a difference that I’m actually a med student here, but was just a volunteer back in Oakland. Not as much like Ben Taub’s either, although it may have to do with the way it’s organized at Parkland, and the fact that it’s a Saturday night.

We did have a couple interesting ones. I’m not sure how much I can say, but there was one person who was hit by a golf ball-sized hailstone tonight, in North Dallas. Owie. The person seemed fine, but was a bit groggy, and was left with a pretty bad headache. We had 3 pretty severe thunderstorms rumble through tonight with stones as big as softballs. Tornado watch, too. A couple of stab wounds, too. One toddler got a pretty bad burn – he got checked into the burn unit to take care of that. All the residents took the time to talk to us, as well as one of the attendings. The nurses were also very pleasant, kind, great at pointing out cool stuff for us to do and see. It was very cool. I’m surprised the sign-up list is so sparse. I’m definitely going back for another round.

This calendar year, so far, has been pretty crappy spiritually. And I just noticed my computer clock switched over and jumped ahead for me. So that means I ought to go to bed so I can be ready for church tomorrow.